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Thread: Men who come on strong at the start? Is this always a red flag?

  1. #1
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    Men who come on strong at the start? Is this always a red flag?

    So I'm wondering what the red flags I should be looking out for? Is it normal for a guy to come on really strong at the start? Sorry I'm still pretty new to dating!

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    What's your idea of strong?

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    Strong is OK. Talk of love & marriage too soon is probably a red flag

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    Ok met a guy in the first week he wanted to take me away, I met his dad at a rugby game he invited me to, he said he was ready to have kids now bla bla bla....sure you can work out the rest! He also was just really a bit to over familiar with me.
    Oh then he faded after I started showing some interest

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    Yea, that was too strong.

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    Ya that's a jackass with some kind of mental illness.

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    Give it up Cherry, don't waste your time. Start fresh with a new attitude and a better choice of men.

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    What it means is they are wanting to avoid the friend-zone.
    Look thru the threads here, countless times we see, "I have been friends with this girl for X amount of months and want to date, BUT...
    That is the crap some men want to avoid. Men who are wanting to date and are not afraid to say so will be very upfront from the start. It is the nice guys who will accept the friend-zone and all along wishing they could date her but "she doesn't want to ruin the friendship" These are the same guys sitting at home wishing they were dating their friend. Meanwhile, the lady of their desire is out dating and romancing with the guy who was NOT willing to settle for "friends".

    On that note - the type of relationship you want with someone needs to be forged from the start. Doesn't matter what it is. Think of your wimpiest boss or teacher. No one took them serious. Then one day they tried to "put their foot down" and people laughed. They did NOT establish their authority early on and now it is too late.
    Last edited by AnErin; 28-12-13 at 08:52 AM.

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    Dude if you have read her other post, this guy is already planning marriage, babies and invit for a weekend trip and only known each other for a week. There's a big difference between "I like you, I want to date you and see where this goes" vs "I want to get married, have babies, I want to spend the weekend with you even tho I'm a total stranger"

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    The same guy probably says the same things to a lot of women simultaneously.
    He just wants to get into her pants.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by cherryblossom20 View Post
    Ok met a guy in the first week he wanted to take me away, I met his dad at a rugby game he invited me to, he said he was ready to have kids now bla bla bla....sure you can work out the rest! He also was just really a bit to over familiar with me.
    Oh then he faded after I started showing some interest
    He didn't leave you because you started to show interest. He left you because you came across as psycho when you accused him of stalking you and your family. Plus you told him you were afraid of commitment.

    He saw that as you radiating red flags and he's started to distance himself.

    Sure.. talking about marriage and babies is normal if he's not telling you he wants them with you but rather just wants them eventually with the right person. It's called discussing end goals. If he wants you to have his babies after one week then run like hell from his particular brand of crazy.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 29-12-13 at 08:18 AM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

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