Affair with married man...confused

[ruby_red]

So I got close to a guy at work jus as colleagues and friends but then something happened...we kissed. We get on so well and have the same dreams and aspirations but turns out he is married with 2 kids.

|We carried on seeing eachother for drinks after work a couple of times then i went away over christmas and he phoned me everyday and said he was falling for me and saw a future together and was unhappy at home.

So we met up today and had a lovely day but then he called me tonight and said it had to stop!

I know he is married and tbh never thought it would get this far but im confused...why did he say all those things and then to just suddenly stop like that.

Anyone been in the same situation?

[vashti]

He probably calculated out what an affair with you would cost him should his wife found out, and decided you weren't worth it.

[4 ratties]

Maybe his wife finally had sex with him

[michelle23]

Dont be so stupid and naive to get involved with a married man. If he comes back again-tell him to f off!

[someguyintexas]

What he said or did is irrelevant. You need to break it off, even if he continues his advances. Do you want to ruin he marriage? Do you want his kids to suffer thru a divorce that you helped cause? He may or may not be a pig, you can't do anything about that, you can make your own choices. If he is willing to cheat on his WIFE with you and did leave her for you who's to say he won't chase after the next shinny thing that comes along once he is with you?

[Trilium]

If you went with him and started something, you would never be able to trust him. Leaving a wife with two kids for another woman, why wouldn't he do the same to you when he got bored? That's hard to bounce back from. Years down the line when things generally get a bit harder in a relationship, what makes you any better than any other woman? You're new. You might be prettier, younger, whatever else. But we age, and relationships take work. He probably decided he should put work into his own relationship instead of going for some new unknown seemingly great person. Everything is great in the beginning and then problems come up, all relationships are like that. You'd be enabling a man that needs to go back home to his WIFE and CHILDREN, not be with you.

[dickriculous]

So I got close to a guy at work jus as colleagues and friends but then something happened...we kissed. We get on so well and have the same dreams and aspirations but turns out he is married with 2 kids.

|We carried on seeing eachother for drinks after work a couple of times then i went away over christmas and he phoned me everyday and said he was falling for me and saw a future together and was unhappy at home.

So we met up today and had a lovely day but then he called me tonight and said it had to stop!

I know he is married and tbh never thought it would get this far but im confused...why did he say all those things and then to just suddenly stop like that.

Anyone been in the same situation?

Yes, I've been in that situation. When she said that she couldn't do it anymore I simply said "it's ok, I understand. Not going to pretend I'm happy about it but I we both knew this wasn't going to last given the circumstances" and then I stopped contacting her. It was her that came back to me. I knew she would because she, just like your guy, was unhappy at home and when she was with me that was the only time that she enjoyed herself so I knew she would come back.

Of course, with us we had no illusions of a future together, and when the subject came up I made that clear. As far as "we have a future together" or any similar sentiments "I want us to commit to each other long term", "I want us to get married", or anything of the sort damn near anyone would tell you the same thing - don't do it.