Mixed signals, what would you do in my situation?

[james00]

Hi all, first post here apologies for the length!

Advice on my situation with this girl would be appreciated ! I just can't work her out.

I've worked with a girl at work now for just over a year, we have always got on pretty well. The past couple of months we have become much closer, to the extent that we have been out together 2 times now. She just seems happy when she sees me, always with a great smile.. Always loves to tease me with cheeky little comments which she knows will make me laugh.

We were out together for 6/7 hours both nights, having a laugh, full of talk.. she also got very touchy with me during these 2 nights (holding / stroking my hand / waist, even my hair!) Although I must admit the second one was much more than the first. On the first night it was the occasional touching of my arm and hand, waist etc. 2nd night there was much more of the same, just a lot more frequently. She also told me a lot about her and her family. She also has a nickname for me which she uses every now and again, again just to wind me up. (this is a nickname that people at home call me but now she does use it every now and again)
We do get a few comments at work of people commenting about the fact that they tease us about each other.

The last time we went out alone was 3 weeks ago & while it has been mentioned by both myself and her that we need to do it again (both seem up for it) it hasn't happened, mainly due to her being "busy" and now the christmas holidays. To be fair, she works 2 jobs, does various things after work and I do know that she is busy. When we are texting each other, it is never a simple answer, it is always a answer which is full of questions, she likes to use emoticons and faces a lot in the texts. Although she does takes a while to reply, could this be because she is thinking about what she is writing?
Here is where I get confused..

Things she does which makes me feel like she does like me more than just a friend:
- She is full of laughter, (laughs at basically everything i say)
- Playfully teases me
- Smiles at me a lot
- Long eye contact between us
- Always seems interested in what i am up to & who with
- Always willing to get close to me (especially when we were out together)
- She seems to want to see me again.. but timing is difficult with our lives at the moment. (brings up the topic)
- Has actually introduced me to her mother (is this a good thing? - was the first night we were out together)
- Occasionally starts random conversations so that we talk to each other (don't get much chance to talk at work so it is only occasional)
- when we went out, its clear to see that she put a lot of effort in to look great.
- she flirts

But then there are also a few things which make me feel like she is just being nice..
- She is a nice person.. she is kind and smiles at other people also
- "busy" like i said, i know that she is busy. But surely if she was interested she would try her best to make time to see me, even if it was only for a short time?
- texting.. i know this isnt a major thing but she takes a while to reply (think i'm looking too much into this)
- we (mainly me but she has also asked about this) have tried to organise the next time we go out but it hasn't happened as of yet.

Now, more recently:
We had our christmas party last week and everything seemed to be going great. She chose to sit next to me at dinner, obviously we were talking quite a bit. Both one on one and to the group we were with. We then headed to the pub and were out for most of the night. She seemed happy all night while i was with her. We ended up spending most of the night together slightly away from the group we were with, it got to the stage where she was touching me very very frequently, cuddling up to me, hugging, stroking me whilst with the biggest grin on her face. Constantly laughing with me, just seemed really happy and we both seemed to have a great time. She even asked me if i wanted to go to her other work party after I have finished work in the new year. - where did that come from?!

At this stage I was sure that she may like me whilst I remained unsure of exactly what I wanted from her,
(don't really know why but I am still unsure on her)
The night was cut short due to a unfortunate trip to hospital for a friend so it wasn't a great ending to the night but hey.. it happens.

I text her the next morning saying that I had a good time and asked her if she wanted to go out sometime soon, to which she promised me that she would be free sometime this week and we could go out. She then suggested a day (which would of been yesterday) to which I agreed and we left it there. Christmas comes up, we are both with families so nothing else was said for a few days.

We had a another work-do on yesterday, which 5/6 of us went to. (just a all day session). She text me earlier in the day wishing my a merry Christmas and hoped that I had a good one. Whilst asking me what the plans were for today so I gave her the details and said to her I shall see her later. She turned up later on and brought her sister with her as well. We all had a good laugh and it was a good night, again, she didn't back out of any chance to tease me. There was much less touching but we were not as close to each other as the other night, there was the occasional physical contact where she put her arm around me etc but nothing major in my eyes. One thing that caught my attention was that her sister called me by my nickname (this was the first time I had met her sister), this was a nickname that only previously she has called me. So.. surely they have been talking about me otherwise how else would she know that? (they are both quite close so if she is mentioning me then surely that's a good sign.. right?)

Anyway, towards the end of the night i asked her if we were still going out tomorrow (yesterday) to which she said that she couldn't go now so I was quite confused. She seems to be blowing hot and cold, she organises the time and day but then backs out which kinda confuses me, especially because of how she was the other night with me.

We went our seperate ways, I text her this morning (i was hungover, in no condition to chat so i thought texting would be ok)
I asked her if she had a good night whilst asking her "are we ever going to go out again, or do you not want to?" to which she replied "i dont know. I'm sure we can go out sometime in the new year! " - indecisive or what?

I told her that she was confusing to which her reply was that im sorry i am not meaning to be confusing and didnt realise she was like that. The conversation quietened down and that was that.

Whilst i think that she may like me due to how she acts around me I am starting to question that. The way she organises the dates and then cannot do it for one reason or another, suggests a new day and we will see where that goes. Whilst i am not sure if it is just me she is seeing, i did see her text a guy the other night but i have no idea who it is.
Whilst it has made me question how she feels it has made me think about her a lot more recently, if anything it is making me like her more than previously. so if she is doing this on purpose its working a treat.
Could she be playing hard to get and making me chase her, or could she just be playing with me? She doesn't seem like a girl who would play games but you never know I suppose, either way I would love to know exactly what she wants from this.

I know you will say just ask her but getting her alone is seeming difficult at the minute, work and the fact it is the christmas holidays doesn't help. i don't really want to ask her on the phone and would rather ask her in person. If i didn't have to shoot off the other night I would of spoken to her then but as always, there is always something that pops up.

So.. any advice on what i should do? Am i just a friend or do you think there is anything in this? Really don't know what to do next.

again, apologies for the wall of text, just trying to explain best i can !

[DalM0m]

The holidays have everybody's schedules off. After the new year, ask her for a specific date & time.

[smackie9]

Telling her she is being confusing is a buzz kill, downer, shows a lack of confidence....don't ever say that to a girl. She invited you to go to her work party in the new year....be there! and when you have a moment alone with her outside or in the hallway, grow a set, pin her up against the wall, tell her how hot she is and kiss her.