My problems:

[tommy_boi]

Hi there, new here

Thought I would come on the internet as I needed a way to speak to other anonymous people to get advice or help and just a way for me to be able to get stuff off my chest, so to speak, anyways the issue/problem I have right now, or it may not even be anything, is I am with a girl, well woman, been with her over 3 years now, we have been through a lot together and I love her to bits, probably more than she knows maybe, anyways, we have had our problems, I have left our home a few times over arguments and her not being happy in the relationship, but I think those have been resolved now, but the latest problem I have is about a month ago I come home with a womans perfume on me, totally innocent by the way, my coat was lying in the pub where they was making food, so it smelt really bad of the bacon etc they was cooking so asked the woman behind the bar if she had any spray, without knowing I sprayed the (Impulse) on me then a friend reminded me that I would now smell of a woman, so I decided to spray myself with (Lynx) which the woman found afterwards, anyways I went on about my night but got home and she smelt it right away, I had been to a club before coming back home and couldn't remember for the life of me why I had this smell on me, I remembered the next day once my friend had reminded me, but she finds it hard to believe cause I never told her right away and now she just throws that in my face all the time and says she don't trust me now, she wrote me a letter 2 days before xmas day 2013 to say she couldn't handle her paranoia anymore and it was making her ill so she wanted me out and to end the relationship, so I went for a day spoke to her, and come back for xmas eve to be with the kids (my step kids) for xmas day, I have been here since and she hasn't brought anything up about me leaving again so I am kinda going with the flow if you put it like that, anyways another problem which is eating away at me, which is the main problem right now, is about 2 months ago she had a rude message on her phone from a guy friend, as far as I am aware nothing from her end just a rude one from him, I saw it and she said she would speak to the guy about it which she said she did and all was resolved, but since then I have become quite paranoid myself, not mainly because of that but because of the way she is acting with me, one minute she will be happy and really great to be around the next she will be all down and like saying things like (she would rather die than be here) and just being really negative towards me (sometimes it seems like I cant do anything right) to even ask her if she would like a cup of tea, she would sometimes be really blunt with me and moody, I would like do everything for her and it would seem it still isn't good enough, this has led me to believe she maybe likes someone else or doesn't love me anymore, or worse doesn't want to be with me now, or even worse is cheating on me, I thought I heard her on the phone today to some guy but she said it was her sister, when I asked to check the call log, she said her sister was calling from home so it was a private no., when I ask her out right (Are you cheating on me, like someone else, want to be with someone else) she says "No" I even say too her if you do just tell me, I wont be mad, I have even give her the chance to send me a text message when I am not around, if she would find that easier, but nothing, I have a really bad feeling that she is talking to someone else, I don't think she is having sex with anyone, I don't think she would do that, but I think she is talking to someone else/likes someone else, but this is eating away at me not knowing, I keep asking her and she says she isn't doing nothing, she keeps saying it is cause she is accusing me of doing something (with the perfume incident) which is why I am turning it onto her, cause I am guilty so she thinks I am playing a bit of reverse psychology, just a final word, this lady is my world, if I lose her I pretty much lose everything, my home, my kids (which I see as my own) everything, my life would be empty, I ask her if she still loves me, and she says yes every single time. Anyways if you can make sense of that I would appreciate someone to talk too and some advice. Thanks.

[3mK]

I read and understand but it doesn't sound so good man. You guys are clearing on a plane that's going to eventually crash. I'm sorry. I really can't give you any advice but I do see where this will end up and if I can say anything it's that you should be smart and get to the bottom of things sooner than later.

By the way, whats wrong with smelling like bacon and pub food? Did you REALLY need to get a girl to spray you with some sort of scent to get rid of that smell?!

[4 ratties]

Wow. If u love her so much, why would u go out to a bar and get drunk and have someone spray you with perfume? You should respect her more than that unless she goes out by herself and gets drunk too coming home smelling like a man.
The private number thing sounds a bit strange. I thought private number is when it's blocked. What made u think it was a man? U for sure heard a mans voice?
The relationship will suck as long as u both don't trust. She's telling u over and over that she's not cheating so there's her answer. U have to either believe it or move on cuz this relationship won't last like this

[tommy_boi]

Hi again.

I know it was a dumb thing to do, but the girl working behind the bar was like why not use this (I have sprayed myself with my girlfriends spray before) so wasn't too bothered about smelling of a females perfume but did realise after it was a bad mistake, I wasn't totally drunk when I got back, was still quite sobar just couldn't remember for the life of me why I had a female smelling spray on me, but I did realise it was a bad move and that is why I sprayed myself with the lynx, we have spoken tonight and she wants to end it for good as she says she is way too paranoid to be with me and doesn't trust me (I keep telling her though if she trusted me when I went out that night that I come home with the female perfume on me, then surely she should know the perfume wasn't cause of anything dodgy) am I correct in thinking this. I am spending the last night with her tonight and then tomorrow we are going our separate ways, I feel so sick right now and upset, I feel my world has gone, thing is she doesn't seem to bothered at all, which is why I keep thinking she may have someone else or someone lined up next, cause surely she would be more upset than she is, and if she loves me like she says she still does, why not work at it, over 3 years we been together, is it worth chucking away that for this, surely you would keep working at it?.