need advice sex with friend

[JMD989]

Hi all need some advice. I guess a little background first I am widowed for a year now and didn't leave the house for 6 months. My friends wife came over and said it was time to go out and start living again. I have know them for 20 yrs and just reconnected after 15yrs. We go out for drinks almost every Friday and his wife's friend comes and she is in the process of a separation. We go out for about 3 months me and her flirty back and forth. One day she stays at my house in the spare room and get into bed with me a 6 in the morning we fooled around a bit nothing serious I can see she is not ready. Them we all continue to go out for another month everything is fine and normal. Then she stayed on new years and we were both drunk and we had sex from what I remember. The next day was ok she left early and we texted later that day but didn't talk about what happened just generic stuff. The day after that she dropped my bag off I left in her car but it felt weird and was a hi-bye visit. Then 2 days go bye no contact from anyone and its Friday and I go no texts from anyone to go out for drinks. Now we didn't go out every Friday but I think they all did go out and didn't invite me and the only reason is because of what happened. Now here's my problem. Although I have known the other people longer she is probably closer and now I am afraid that I have lost my other friends. Its been 5 days no contact from anyone I don't know what to do. I don't really want anything from her because she is not ready I think but I don't know what's in her head or what she told the other friends I just care more about loosing my other friends again. Should I talk to her, What should I say. Can I repair this.

[smackie9]

She may have been embarrassed and felt you took advantage of her and sadly relayed this to your friends. So yes you definitely need to talk to her about this and apologize for any embarrassment you may have caused to her (just suck up to her even tho you don't feel that way) and that you didn't have any intention of taking advantage of her, and you hope you can be friends.

Then proceed to talk to your friends, say that you hope what has happened between you and her won't affect your relationship with them because you value their friendship and don't want this to become an issue.

Communication is key in any kind of relationship, so it's always best to "clear the air" to remove the elephant in the room.

[JMD989]

Thanks for the advice and I think it worked I texted and talked to her and I think she was embarrassed and said that she was not ready yet and to tell you the truth neither am I ( it happened on new years I will never drink that much again or sleep with a friend lol). She told me she told the other friends she couldn't remember much and might have been afraid I would tell them, so I told her I would never do that and she said all was good. So thanks again I think clearing the air worked but I haven't talked to the other friends yet so only time will tell.

[smackie9]

Np, good to hear, have a good one

[anastasis]

You can't repair it. You need to get as far away from her as possible as she is obviously a preditor hitting you at the weakest moment she possibly could have, just like all blood sucking females are wont to do.

It is true that you should get a new start in life. It honors the memory of the woman you loved. But you might need to just get out of town and not look back to make that happen. Concentrate on your work, and the things that matter to you know. Most women will only waiste your time and be a painful burden if you get involved with them. Wait on someone who is worthy of you, which judging from most women today, will probably never happen.

Blessings to you in the new year.