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Thread: Does he still Love me? Do I have a second chance?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
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    Does he still Love me? Do I have a second chance?

    My ex and me dated for about 4 months at university, together officially for 2.
    I have previously had a long 5 year (on/off) relationship and in those 4 months I loved and felt more loved than I ever have. They were the happiest months of my life.
    He wasn’t a big communicator, the only issue we had was when he would randomly stop talking before we were official.
    When I came home for the 4 month break things got bad. I had surgery, the anesthetic increased my anxiety and the difficulties of distance meant I started arguments, wondered why he wasn’t talking to me. We decided it was difficult and broke up, crying, telling each other we would be together again etc. etc.
    A month passed and we barely spoke, i later found out that he hadn't been receiving my messages and I hadn't been getting his, he thought i had moved on and got a new girlfriend. The night he got a new girlfriend I rang him, i told him it was a bad idea, i cried, we talked for 2.5 hrs.
    Less than a month passes with limited communication and then on December 22nd he said everything I had been wanting to hear. He said he loves me, he misses me, he regrets breaking up with me and would want to get back together at university. We flirted via text and snapchat for about a week, I got a “merry christmas beautiful on christmas” life seemed perfect. He broke up with his girlfriend on the 29th of December and that is when it started to go wrong.
    That night he barely contacted me, the next day he said he was in a bad mood, and i got nothing on new years. I contacted him on the 2nd of January asking what was going on. He told me that his ex had been abusing him over social media etc. and causing him to get angry at everyone. He said he didn’t want to fight, or push me away so he was keeping his distance. I should have backed off then, but I didn’t.
    January 4 - I said i missed him, he said “I miss you too xx”.
    January 9 - I said something about cuddles, he told me to stop over thinking and that cuddles would be good
    January 11 - I got anxious, he said that nothing had changed.
    He kept reassuring me, but I just got more anxious and insecure and kept contacting him when I should have been giving him space. I started overthinking every picture he liked, every message, every silence, it was killing me.
    I had recently moved towns, i don’t know anyone, i had nothing to do and even though I had never been that type of girl, he had become my whole life.
    January 11 - His ex rang him, he wrote a status, i didn’t see the status at first and wrote one of my own about relationships, he thought i was getting at his ex relationship and got angry. I cleared it up, told him i was there for him and we ended the night with him saying ‘goodnight x’
    January 12 - we said sent some sext sort of things to each other, but he was still seeming distant.
    On January 14 he posted some lyrics “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone” which was our song type of thing. Because of the distance I thought that this couldn’t be about me and so got upset and angry. ‘text yelled’ at me, telling me to look up the song it was from. I unfortunately, in my anger, told him to stop ‘f*****g me around’. This made him angrier.
    Later I sent a huge message with all my feelings and apologies. He replied with “omg I have absolutely no idea what to reply to that except <3”. I said that was good enough.
    After overthinking, on January 15 I changed my mind and wanted a better answer. Stupid. This made him annoyed because he said I always changed my mind about stuff. After sending multiple text messages I ended up ringing him and we had a perfectly normal, happy conversation, no lovey stuff. he said he would text me the next day, he didn’t.
    January 18 - I sent a message, yet again, about his silence and the fact he was ignoring all my messages and snapchats. he sent a message saying “Just relax :/ please don’t continuously push the issue as this is the only thing that pisses me off! your life shouldn’t revolve around me”
    I sent an apology message about 9 pm, saying that I would back off, i’m not usually like this, and I would see him at uni.
    About the same time a friend of his posted on his wall “don’t let the b*****s get to you and drag you down, i got your back hun”.
    He deleted this as soon as he was online, about 10pm.
    About 1 am I wrote a status saying “just tell the world my problems, thanks heaps” this was hours after the post had been deleted.
    He then liked my post, he barely EVER likes my posts, or really many peoples for that matter. He generally only likes profile pictures of blonde girls, including mine.
    Ever since then I have ceased contact (now Jan 20th) and have been trying to get out there and do stuff, not let him be my life and show him that through Facebook.

    This all happened in less than a month. Do you think he still loves me somewhere deep down or have I completely ruined my shot at a second chance?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
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    Female
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    Well, he's certainly not indicating that he loves you. From what I understand (your post was hard to read) the two of you haven't even spent time together since he broke up with his ex.

    Suggest you move on
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
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    Female
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    The last thing you said about him 'liking' pictures of girls with blond hair, as well as the post from his female friend that said to not let B's get him down and all that, which he deleted almost immediately - all of that sounds like he is just kind of playing around with different women and doesn't know what he wants. Maybe it's possible that he has slight feelings for you, but it sounds also like he has feelings for other girls too. I mean if he's telling female friends about the problems he's having with you... that's not a good sign. It almost sounds like he's trying to get other women to feel sorry for him and give him attention. It all sounds very confusing, and you don't need that.

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