Bf still lying after being confronted

[Blanket]

Hi guys
I posted a thread on the love advice forum but I would really love some male insight on the topic since I don't really know what to do. I posted about this situation a few weeks ago but here is an update: (remove space from . net)
loveforum. net/threads/87077-Another-issue-BF-is-still-lying-about-talking-to-another-girl?p=966421#post966421

Thanks in advance


Edit: the girl he is calling lives downtown. We live in the suburbs, just turns out that apparently her phone was bought in a town a few miles out (what his post said)

[michelle23]

OP if he is lying to you so early in your relationship it is a huge red flag. You should stay away from him and start meeting guys who share the same cultural/religious values as you. This guy has another girlfriend. Maybe a long distance relationship and he is just using you for sexual favours when she is not around. Don't give this asshole your virginity. Dump him and move on

[smackie9]

He is irritated at you nagging at him talking to other girls so ya he's going to lie about it, I would too. Basically he shouldn't have to "REPORT" to you every bloody time he talks to another girl. IMO that is asinine to make someone do that. The only way to solve your problem is for you to change your attitude, and get over your insecurities and trust issues. If not, breakup with him pronto!

If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen!

[Starnique]

For him to lie about it means he is hiding something. I mean, why lie about it if all in innocence? Most importantly, why keep doing it if it makes her uncomfortable? Move on OP.

[surfhb2]

He is irritated at you nagging at him talking to other girls so ya he's going to lie about it, I would too. Basically he shouldn't have to "REPORT" to you every bloody time he talks to another girl. IMO that is asinine to make someone do that. The only way to solve your problem is for you to change your attitude, and get over your insecurities and trust issues. If not, breakup with him pronto!

If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen!

Bingo!

Actually he should just ignore your poor behavior and own it. That's the right thing to do

[Starnique]

Ok. That makes no sense.

No, he shouldn't have to report it but when you go and lie about something so small it causes people not to trust you and doubt most of what you do. Yes the OP should work on whatever trust issues she have so she can learn who she is as a person and not be so paranoid. I still say that him lying about it, makes the situation worse and makes him guilty and a liar if you really want to be deep about it.

[Wakeup]

Here's what I posted in your other thread Op.

If he's racking up $400+ long distance phone charges to 'chat' with her then lying to you about why it's that high, then Its pretty obvious that she means more to him then a "simple" friend. Has he logged that many LD minutes while talking to any MALE / friends? pfffft.

Please. This is NOT a case of her being paranoid because of her own insecurities. He's certainly suspect. And no one deserves to be looked at in the face and lied to. If he feels he has to do that then he should just leave her alone and keep racking up bills to the long distance fluff .

[Starnique]

Yeah I read that other post. I wonder if anyone else bothered to? So I take it back, she's not paranoid. He is making her this way. Leave his lying ass.

[Wakeup]

BTW: Blanket: You handled asking him who Amy was very well, with class and without acting like a paranoid shrew. He fed you a line and then fed you an even bigger one when telling you about his 400 dollar long distance bill to her number. You're not the problem here.

[smackie9]

For him to lie about it means he is hiding something. I mean, why lie about it if all in innocence? Most importantly, why keep doing it if it makes her uncomfortable? Move on OP.

Not necessarily. Sometimes people do it not to hide it but to avoid drama. I agree if the OP feels too insecure in this relationship she shouldn't be in it.

[smackie9]

Here's what I posted in your other thread Op.

Please. This is NOT a case of her being paranoid because of her own insecurities. He's certainly suspect. And no one deserves to be looked at in the face and lied to. If he feels he has to do that then he should just leave her alone and keep racking up bills to the long distance fluff .

Well then this thread shouldn't exist. It's a no brainer that she should walk instead of squawk!

[Blanket]

Not necessarily. Sometimes people do it not to hide it but to avoid drama. I agree if the OP feels too insecure in this relationship she shouldn't be in it.

I'll admit I have trust issues but that's why I asked him about her in the first place. True he doesn't need to "report to me" and that's not what I want at all. He talks about all his other friends and I talk about mine (female and male) so there's no reason to be closed up about it, even when asked calmly.

update: i went over to his place to grab my wallet before my job interview and he brought it up on his own. Said that they're gunna give him half off the bill and give him more data for next month since he is already over. Also said that they only wanted to discount half since they already did it last month. I told him last month was different because it was long distance charges whereas this month is data charges.
He looked puzzled and obviously didn't remember what he told me the first time around. Which has led me to believe that the lies he's telling aren't thought out the slightest bit.

[Blanket]

Here's what I posted in your other thread Op.

Please. This is NOT a case of her being paranoid because of her own insecurities. He's certainly suspect. And no one deserves to be looked at in the face and lied to. If he feels he has to do that then he should just leave her alone and keep racking up bills to the long distance fluff .

I agree with you. And thanks for replying again.
However, about a month ago I was very close with my guy friend and we would talk on the phone for around an hour a few times a week. So when I take my situation and apply it to my boyfriend I can justify the phone calls but I sure as hell can't justify the lies.

Also, he knows that my ex cheated on my and was always hiding his phone calls. I absolutely despise bringing up my past but the feelings are coming up again and he doesn't have a very compelling case.

[michelle23]

A month in this should be the honeymoon period. You two should be walking on a cloud and having lots of fun, flirting, teasing, dates etc There is too much drama here for a new relationship. Just end it already

[smackie9]

Again you think if you tell him everything you EXPECT him to do the same, and if he doesn't that could only mean one thing. I don't talk about everything to my husband, doesn't mean I'm hiding anything.

Anyways you are unhappy with him, but you are still with him, so there is no need to talk in circles about his behavior. Just breakup with the guy.