Is this the best way to handle a break up?

[Chris21422]

So I just had a talk with one of my buddies who had a break up 8 months ago they had a 4 year relationship. The girl fell out of love maybe (GIGS) w/ no 3rd party involve

basically he told me stuff what he did to move on and how to handle the ex after the break up and now after 8 months it seems the ex gf wanted to get back with him but he doesn't want her back anymore..

So here's the thing he did told me

- He did not remove the ex from facebook he just stayed away from all social media and basically started improve himself going to gym, financial, job.

- He never contacts the ex after break up

- When the ex text or called he answer indifferent or he is busy so he needs to go and sometimes he doesn't reply when he feels he doesn't need to reply..

Like he doesn't give a f*ck mentality. He said that dealing with the break up is hard but he needed to tell himself everyday when he wakes up that is over from day 1.

He said that removing ex in facebook and ignoring seems immature for him. So he just left the ex there and he never keeps tab on what she is doing..
but he knows his boundaries he said. There are times like they NC for 2 months and ex suddenly contacts him but he doesn't care what she says or wants..

He just started living his life and just treated the ex like a normal person when she contacts him. He also said that he replies when he finish all the things he needed to finish.. he doesn't make the ex priority in his life.

Listen guys I am not saying you should follow all the things that he did. every situation is different.

maybe this guy.. this is just how he handled the break up perfectly..

What do you guys think Is this better than doing No Contact and Ignoring?

[Rowen]

Honestly, I think how people handle their breakups should be unique to them because every person is different. Yes, we suggest the no contact rule on here a lot, but the original posters don't have to follow our suggestion. We just try to get through to them to get them to see they need to handle it in the way which is best for them. Doesn't mean we're always right and doesn't mean we're always wrong...

Me, personally, I am a terrible person to break up with. I pretty much go batshit crazy and analyze the entire thing and then re-analyze it and then analyze it again... I look through old pictures, read old text messages, listen to every extremely depressing song I have in my extensive music collection at least four or five times. I watch romantic movies and wish I could have something similar happen to me... Sounds extremely unhealthy, but it usually worked for me in the past because when I was finally whole again, i was able to hate the guy for how badly he treated me (This was, of course, only because I was usually the one who was the "victim" of the relationship.) and write something (whether it be extremely angry/hostile/bitter poetry, a depressing short story, or an extremely depressing start to a novel) with depth. It used to make me as whole I believed I could ever be, but obviously that kind of self-torture wouldn't work for everyone.

This breakup I'm going through right now is a bit different, though. At least, I'm handling it differently because I truly love the man and don't fault him because we both contributed to our relationship's failure. Yeah, I still cry over him and look at old pictures of the two of us, but I don't allow myself to torture my mind the way I did in the past. Instead, I focus on his side of things too and what I want to be in terms of a person... And in doing so, I leave myself open to a future where practically anything can happen- not just one where I abhor the guy.

And maybe my ways of handling it won't work for most others. That's okay. It works for me, and that's all that counts, really.
*shrugs* Just my thought.

EDIT: I'm terrible unless I'm the person dumping the other...

[basilandthyme]

No Contact is necessary for a person who just can't move on. However, for people like your friend who can easily move on, then there's no need to do it.

It's horses for courses really.

[4 ratties]

Everyone should deal with a breakup in the way that works best for them. This would never work for me.. I would get emotional and crazy seeing his Facebook and him sending me a text. In order to move on I would need to be away from him completly. This friend of yours must of been over the relationship before it ended or has really strong self control. I can't just turn my feelings off and be okay with them texting me and being on my Facebook news feed.