She Left Me for Someone Else

[Hope789]

Hello, I've known this girl for about 6-7 months and we connected like soul-mates. She is so honest, loving, sweet, and caring. I'd do anything for her despite knowing her for such a short time. We dated for 2 months but we broke up because she thought I was too old for her? I'm 21 and she just turned 18 but apparently she still lives with her super strict parents and her parents have a problem with the age difference. I have a job, I'm very polite, I even open the car door for her and I have things going good in my life. Her parents let us hang out but it's only to go to the gym for 1 hour, if she is 1 minutes late then she gets in big trouble. -___-

So whatever, she said once she moves out she'd like to try again. I said sure, but let's still be friends! She agreed. Well, a week after we broke up she meet a boy her age and they went off. She told me right away and didn't keep it a secret, so I respected that and remained her friend, although I did feel a little jealous and resentful. But I had to accept it, she was still worth being a friend, she was so honest and cares about me...

Well, her boyfriend didn't pay any attention to her, never went to see her or anything and they eventual broke up after a month. During the time they were together, we were still hanging out, me and her I think still had warm feelings together... She was even Kissing and Hugging me.

Well, after they broke up I told her how I felt about seeing her with him and I just felt uncomfortable. We talked, and she agreed to just wait for me and that meant a lot to me. She said she was going to move out in the summer or so and we could date and that she would wait and not date anyone. I told her than she didn't have to wait but it did mean a lot to me...

Well, she broke that promise... She found another guy her age... This time she said, after one date that he was so perfect. He made her feel like she never felt before... That hurt, I couldn't help but get a little angry. She broke the promise but it was more jealousy that enraged me. "Made her feel like she never felt before", like I was just some "ehhh okay" guy... I got really mad and I texted her that I hated her! Well, after my reign of emotions ended, I felt really bad and apologized.. But she wont accept my apology.

Now I feel so awful... I'm at the point that I don't care if I'm with her or not. I don't know how I feel, but a part of me wants her in my life, whether we are together or not. She's just ignoring my texts now and I can't stand this pain in my chest. I don't know why I care so much but I don't want it to end in hate... I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, I'll just end it here... Thanks for reading.

[Mattiemae]

Well in my opinion she doesn't know what she wants in a partner. Most likely she will keep doing this, because fortunately she is seeking love outside of herself in someone else. Love is really never found outside of ourselves. Others can love us, but fortunately until we find our purpose and understand ourselves we have a tendency of searching for the right person in life when the whole time you have to be the right person to find the right person. We sometimes have one person on the side just in case it doesn't work out with the other one, or perhaps are with someone and always looking for some one better, because we believe the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

On the other hand it's not the truth. We run away from ourselves and never deal with our own emotional and mental issues from the past and really need to mature and grow up to stay in a relationship.

[4 ratties]

wow really? why would u torture yourself like this? being friends with a girl you like or love or whatever and hearing about other guys. it makes u look like a doormat. well lets see this 18yr old girl cheated on her new bf in less than a month and also lied to you. hmmm shes a cheater, a liar, and very young and doesnt know what she wants. that is a recipe for disaster. run away now if u have any sense.

[Hope789]

Well in my opinion she doesn't know what she wants in a partner. Most likely she will keep doing this, because fortunately she is seeking love outside of herself in someone else. Love is really never found outside of ourselves. Others can love us, but fortunately until we find our purpose and understand ourselves we have a tendency of searching for the right person in life when the whole time you have to be the right person to find the right person. We sometimes have one person on the side just in case it doesn't work out with the other one, or perhaps are with someone and always looking for some one better, because we believe the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

On the other hand it's not the truth. We run away from ourselves and never deal with our own emotional and mental issues from the past and really need to mature and grow up to stay in a relationship.

I agree, I do feel like I'm some sort of a "Back-up" or "Plan B". It's upsetting really...

I've actually brought it up to her that I feel that way and she got REALLY defensive and we fought. Maybe she is just really immature. Idk, I still really care about her. I feel awful for saying those things and want her in my life, but I'm pretty curtain I don't want to be anything more than a close friend. God damn these mixed emotions are driving me crazy!

It's the mixed emotions that I wanna settle, honestly...

[Mattiemae]

detaching from someone is really hard if we focus on the person all the time. It really does take discipline and time for your emotions and feelings to heal. The best thing to do is let go of her if you know it is unhealthy for you. The thing is the more you focus on her, the more you are giving your personal power away to her. I had to learn this myself. Get rid of the phone numbers, gifts, letters, or what ever you have laying around. While at first it is hard, distract your thoughts and mind when ever you think of her, or even write out your feelings and emotions. This is just a visual, and may sound funny, but it's like empty out the garbage, or say something is gooey or sticky is attached to you. You have to keep pulling it away from you to get off, or search for away to remove it from your life. That would be not listening to depressing love songs, or songs that trigger memories, or doing things that trigger those memories and emotions. It is all where you focus your attention. The longer you focus on her, the harder it is to detach.

[Hope789]

detaching from someone is really hard if we focus on the person all the time. It really does take discipline and time for your emotions and feelings to heal. The best thing to do is let go of her if you know it is unhealthy for you. The thing is the more you focus on her, the more you are giving your personal power away to her. I had to learn this myself. Get rid of the phone numbers, gifts, letters, or what ever you have laying around. While at first it is hard, distract your thoughts and mind when ever you think of her, or even write out your feelings and emotions. This is just a visual, and may sound funny, but it's like empty out the garbage, or say something is gooey or sticky is attached to you. You have to keep pulling it away from you to get off, or search for away to remove it from your life. That would be not listening to depressing love songs, or songs that trigger memories, or doing things that trigger those memories and emotions. It is all where you focus your attention. The longer you focus on her, the harder it is to detach.

Thanks for your caring words and advice. I appreciate your time spent. I have been listening to emotional songs and I haven't got rid of the gifts. I have work to do, and you're right... This is going to be hard...

[Mattiemae]

That is one of the things I've learned is when i read alot of positive quotes, or listen to more upbeat music like techno, or songs with happy lyrics that have nothing to do with romance, it raises my mood and emotions. Np, I don't mind giving support to others. It is difficult to let go, and of course it is like a death. We grieve and go through all the same feelings and emotions. The thing is we don't have to live in pain and suffering. We can release ourselves from it, and know we are valuable and worthy enough to be loved. Love will find it's way to us. We just have to believe in ourselves and hold on to that self worth in a negative world. It is amazing to learn we don't have to go around in circles. It's just hard because our society doesn't teach us to have self worth, and value ourselves. We have to do that for ourselves, set boundaries, and surround ourselves with positive people. It's a different world when we learn to navigate through the naysayers, judgemental people, and those that feel they know what is best for us, more than we do. We seek love and approval outside of us, but internally is where love is, and externally we give and receive love. The best thing is becoming a whole person and finding out what your personal truth is, and grow and develop mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It's hard journey until we figure out who we are, what we need, and what we deserve in life. Once you answer those questions it isn't such a struggle anymore. Let go of all the negative things in your life, and seek out the positive. I think that is what made the difference is someone telling me, I didn't have to suffer and I didn't have to take abuse from other people on any level. So be strong and take courage! You are stronger than you believe!