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Thread: Plz Read And Rate... I Love Writing

  1. #1
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    Plz Read And Rate... I Love Writing

    I never thought I’d meet the one
    I never thought I could ever trust
    I always said love stabs u in the back
    I never expected for u to change that
    u are my life, u are my love
    u are the one who never let's me give up why do u love me so? why do u care?
    why do u console me,
    whenever I am scared?
    I don't understand this feeling
    this swell with in my soul, yearning for u
    but u don't ever seem to be there
    how can u be the light of my life?
    but also the darkness of all of my pain?
    u hurt me and u don't realize
    u make me sick and I just don't know why then again I love u, but why?
    Love is up to me~~PRISSY

  2. #2
    Junket's Avatar
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    http://www.loveforum.net/f17-love-poem.html

  3. #3
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    Too hard to read. Pink font sucks.

  4. #4
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    if it's in big pink font, it's bad.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by shh!
    Too hard to read. Pink font sucks.
    Would that it did.
    Speak less. Say more.

  6. #6
    Join Date
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    No offense, but... LOL

    It sounds like you've got a lot to say there in your poem. I'd definitely rate the content as good, sounds like it's from the heart. However, try to work a little more on the flow of the poem. Poems should FLOW smoothly. Almost like they have a rythm or a beat to em'. Fix those problems and then repost it... Preferably not in pink.
    EXAMPLE:
    u are my life, u are my love (good)
    u are the one who never let's me give up why do u love me so? why do u care? (f'ing long)

    HAHAHA It's almost like two complete sentences. Not only that, but if they're supposed to be said together, they're completely unrelated. try something like : u are the only one i think of. Or something like that. Of course, I ain't no writer so what the hell do I know?

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