need advice

[rocks]

ok my gf left me but wouldn't break up and she said she needed space and time to think. I wanted to get back togeather but she wouldn't and after this she still kept calling me all the time saying she still wanted to be friends but I told her I have no interest in being friends because I like her so much.it was killing me so after a couple of weeks I ended it properly. and we havnt really spoke since. im dieing to get in touch but I haavnt because she knows I want her so she would get in touch with me if she wanted me back right? she left me because I kind of smoke loadsa weed and have a lot on in my personal life which is making me unhappy and she knew it but I never let her see I would always hide and unhappiness around her I always made an effort to be happy with her sort of thing. anyways I kind of lost my temper 1day on someone not her I have never said 1 bad word to her and I scared her I think coz she is a nice quiet girl.and that's when she left me. ok I know she still like me she was pure in love with me originally I know she likes me coz after we broke up we met 1 time and we kissed and she just melted an I told her I missed her and she said it back.and iv walked past her work and she looks like crap. my friend works with her and she is always asking about me and asking if iv asked about her. and me m8 said she looks proper gutted because I wont speak to her now but I mean she wont call me either so I dunno. I know if I called her now she would still want to know me and meet up for coffees and stuff. I think she still wants me but is trying to do what is right for her future sort of thing. she has told me tho she wants to be on her own for a while and that she wont be with some1 like me who smokes weed n stuff. I have litrelly been in tears evrey day for like 6 weeks now its killing me I dunno what to do I wanna try get back with her badly but I know she wont be with me right now I dunno what to do. should I try or not im not really in a good state either to try get back with her im a bit of a mess. anyways iv stoped smokeing now an evrythin for like a month now but I don't wanna call her because I don't think I can take the rejection again I like her so much what can I do ppls!!???

[bekho]

Understand the reason why she broke up with you. You pushed her away with all your drug taking and issues. Put your emotions on hold. Get your life in order. Then you deserve to be loved. If you can't take care of yourself, you shouldn't take care of anyone.

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[bekho]

You should respect her more for making the difficult decision to leave you. Sacrificing herself for you. Recognise it and respect her for it.

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[rocks]

i honestly don't blame the girl for leaving me but it doesn't mean I have to like it yano, I know this ^ but I have never done anything to this girl except treat her like gold. I treat her real good when I first got with her she actually cried sayin she didn't deserve me and I laughed sayin you havnt got a clue what your on about. im currently in the process of getting myself togeather but it takes time and its harder getting myself togeather when im so miserable. I cant be friends with her because it hurts to much to have her around me if were not togeather. don't even know what to say now iv ****ed it and im devastated.

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and she knows iv got loadsa stuff on not everything but enough my mother is gonna be sectiond soon shes losing it and why would she leave me when im in a time of need I have never been this weak in my life I think shes mean abit though because if she loved me how could she leave me when im so messed up at the minute anyway its just made things a million times worse for me. but yh m8 anyway I think you hit the nail on the head with the first answer thx

[Mattiemae]

Take time right now to focus on the things you need to work on and know too she is doing what is best for you both in the moment. It does take time, and the more you heal and grow the better life will become. Do drop the weed. No one wants to be with someone that uses. It's not healthy for them, or you. Find your self worth, and self respect. Life is hard and difficult, but you are stronger than you believe you are. Just stay positive and know life gets better as long as you breathe.

[rocks]

iv stopped everything drinking drugs you name it for like a month now them things are ez theyv never botherd me I just have used it as a crutch in hard times normal problems have never got to me atall they don't bother me in 1 ear out the other sort of thing im just finding this so hard shes like an addiction I need to see her so bad i hadn't cried for like 10years and now im in tears perminantly every day cant sleep eat nothing has ever gotten to me like this. im trying to be positive and stuff but im just up and down all the time thx anyway ppls think im just having a moanathon now