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Thread: My Valentines day date

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    My Valentines day date

    Hey all. Last night I went out on a valentines day date and this story extrudes from that.
    I'm going to try to keep this reasonably short but it might be hard as I'll provide the critical details.

    So, few days ago I started talking to a girl online and she seemed nice. I asked her out on a date and she said yes and we went out on. The minute I saw her she kisses me and she was smiling and bubbly. I picked her up from her place and we went to a nice lookout point with a nice view and we talked so much and laughed. She was beginning to ask me about what I think about certain things like tattoos and stuff as. If she wanted to know if I approve which made me think she cared what I though about her. Moving on the date progressed well and I took her to another place near a lake we kissed more and she started to get turned on. She told me she doesn't have sex on first date and I wasn't inferring it but 5 mins later she throws herself at me and wants me there but I refused and just teased her to finish her off.

    So anyways It was late so I decided to drive her home. While driving I asked her to tell me 3 things that would be a huge deal for me as a deal breaker (asking about her flaws). The first thing she told me was she has no contact with family and she's moved back and forth several times around the country. She didn't tell me why but that was one thing the next thing she said was a little more shocking. She said she had a bf who was into drugs and stuff and that was her only relationship but between that she had a child. A child that lived for 2 years and prior to that the kid had some condition which put him in life support and she finally switched it off 2 months ago. Anyways I was shocked about it but didn't know how to react so I just said general things.

    According to dates the night was probably a great one and she kissed me goodnight. We had also made plans for a date tomorrow but to my surprise she went all day today ignoring me. I texted her in the morning she didn't reply so I texted again at noon to ask if she's ok but still no reply. I texted one last time few mins ago but still no reply and between then I called her twice and she didn't answer.

    I'm baffled. We got along great she seemed genuinely into me but she just blew me off. I logged onto the app I met her and saw she was online awhile ago so obviously her phone is active among other things but any ways it feel terrible now. I wasn't expecting this. Can anyone please explain what's going on here? Is she mentally unstable maybe? Or has other personal issues? I think that if her story about her son was really true she in no way is over it. Mind you she moved here to this city couple months ago so that's a strange coincident too. Anyways, any comment and responses are appreciated thanks.

    I've gone into the liberty to block and delete her. Last thing I want to do is think about her and feel something was wrong because of me but even then I don't think someone should go around playing mind games or pretend to enjoy a date when they don't. Truth is I really believed her but if her decision was to never talk to me again, an honest talk to me about it would be more respectful and mature. However I saw no signs of that but rather ignorance.
    Could she have been a psychopath?

    Thank you in advance for reading and thanks for your responses.
    Last edited by MMX; 16-02-14 at 01:01 AM.

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    It sounds maybe she either went through all these things, or may have some issues making up stories. Either way it seems their is something a little off here. Mystery and like there is more to the story. I wouldn't take it personally, and really you don't know unless she contacts you and you get to know her better. I wouldn't pursue her any further. If it was me, I would just move on. It sounds more like to me she has issues, and she stated she is cut off from her parents and family. Which means 1.) She's either avoiding issues with those people, or running away from something. 2.) She's got a dysfunctional family and breaking away from it to be healthy. Could be either or? 3.) Boyfriend had drug problems etc. 4.) Recovering from a babies death. It may have triggered alot of back story issues when you asked her about her past if it really happen. And may think now you wouldn't stick around if you asked that question about flaw's. All this could be truth!

    But at the same time, she's not answering you. So she's avoiding you now. Which indicates she's online today, but not answering. Really this isn't about you. So don't make it about you. The only reason I say this might all be fictional is because some people online do make up back up stories, just to hide their private lives. I've fun into some that even live out of a fictional book and set up things like story they've read. lol It's a crazy world, and fortunately we don't always have the answers why people do stupid stuff, and play mind games, etc, accept for their past has alot to do with how they relate with others today.

    The warning signs are there so acknowledge them. If she contacts you just be cautious and take your time getting to know her.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mattiemae View Post
    It sounds maybe she either went through all these things, or may have some issues making up stories. Either way it seems their is something a little off here. Mystery and like there is more to the story. I wouldn't take it personally, and really you don't know unless she contacts you and you get to know her better. I wouldn't pursue her any further. If it was me, I would just move on. It sounds more like to me she has issues, and she stated she is cut off from her parents and family. Which means 1.) She's either avoiding issues with those people, or running away from something. 2.) She's got a dysfunctional family and breaking away from it to be healthy. Could be either or? 3.) Boyfriend had drug problems etc. 4.) Recovering from a babies death. It may have triggered alot of back story issues when you asked her about her past if it really happen. And may think now you wouldn't stick around if you asked that question about flaw's. All this could be truth!

    But at the same time, she's not answering you. So she's avoiding you now. Which indicates she's online today, but not answering. Really this isn't about you. So don't make it about you. The only reason I say this might all be fictional is because some people online do make up back up stories, just to hide their private lives. I've fun into some that even live out of a fictional book and set up things like story they've read. lol It's a crazy world, and fortunately we don't always have the answers why people do stupid stuff, and play mind games, etc, accept for their past has alot to do with how they relate with others today.

    The warning signs are there so acknowledge them. If she contacts you just be cautious and take your time getting to know her.
    Thanks for the well thought out response. After I wrote the original post I decided to block all communication with her. I did go as far as to give her a piece of my mind one last time before I did so because I don't think anyone deserves to be avoided like this. We both told each other that we liked one another so that's more confusing.

    But what I fail to understand is why do people behave this way? It's unpredictable. I understand she could have had deeper issues but the date itself was perfect. Maybe the fact we discussed her tragic story rattled her a bit. She did say it was a topic she'd have discussed with me sometime along the track. Either way, did I do a good job by bringing this up early and figuring her out rather than see her for weeks then have this happen?
    Last edited by MMX; 16-02-14 at 12:53 PM.

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    Could it be that she's simply changed her mind about dating you again but is too gutless you tell you?

    Also, re her questions on tattoos and stuff: I don't think this was about her caring what you thought about her: I think she was simply looking to see her her attitude and yours were compatible.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

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    Well I would say you did a fine job, better to know right away, instead of a few months from now when you've invested all your time in her.

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    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Mattiemae View Post
    Well I would say you did a fine job, better to know right away, instead of a few months from now when you've invested all your time in her.
    You have a good point there. I still find it extremely confusing that people can do that to you.

    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    Could it be that she's simply changed her mind about dating you again but is too gutless you tell you?

    Also, re her questions on tattoos and stuff: I don't think this was about her caring what you thought about her: I think she was simply looking to see her her attitude and yours were compatible.
    It wasn't just the tattoo thing but she also asked if I liked kids and what I would think about the thought of having kids and her having kids. The way she asked thought it felt as if she was seeking approval. There is a difference between saying what you think about this as opposed to how would you feel if I did this. Either way if someone can instantly flick a switch to change their mind after a great date then they definitely have issues. I personally don't think I did anything wrong and if I were to feel guilty about that I would just be feeling bad for myself. At least if I was her I would text or call and just explain the situation and say I don't want to talk to you any more or aren't interested. Doesn't take too much effort to that does it?
    Last edited by MMX; 16-02-14 at 04:17 PM.

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    Losses her child 2 months and she's online dating and carrying on with you like you described. What a nut case!!

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