Boss, texting, relationship, headache.

[newstart1133]

Hi all,

I started a new job about 4 months ago and upon getting hired met an incredible guy. We were both instantly attracted to each other. I found out soon after he was in fact, my boss. Great. I know this is a big no no typically. To my shock I received a " work related " text message that week from him which ended up turning into a 4 hour back and forth about anything and everything.

For about two months we were in touch with each other outside of work, something slowly growing. We spent hours every single day getting to know each other. We openly admitted to each other that this felt like something worth pursuing. We have been incredibly open about out feelings with one another.It seems as though we cant get enough of each other.

As you can imagine a few people at work picked up on " something " going on. It turned into a bit of a headache for about a month because he was nervous about the potential of job loss. We are incredibly professional at work and there was no real reason for anyone to think something was happening so his superiors dont really think anything of it. He was open with me about how nerve wracking this was and I understood.

It's now been about 4 months. We have not seen each other outside of work at all and i've started looking for a new jobs. We kissed for the first time outside of our work the other day and have made plans for the following week. I was shocked that this happened because I know his career means a lot to him and that was a bit risky on his part. We have literally been in touch with each other in one way or another every single day since we met.

It is incredibly weird to say this is a " first date " . The whole timeline is off in my head. We know so much about each other at this point. Also because of the work/outside of work situation I have felt like a babbling fool in front of him at work. He has this presence that is incredibly intimidating and I am nervous as all hell because I have those butterflies in my stomach. I can't tell if this is endearing or if hes thinking at this point that i'm ridiculous.

Thoughts ?

[RobertWQ]

Tread carefully. This sounds like it could be very rewarding for both of you, or a big mess.

[Valixy]

While relationships at work aren't seen very well in some companies, they aren't exactly illegal. You're both single grown up people and as long as you perform well at work, you could have given your relationship a chance, while you were looking for a new job if you felt more comfortable that way. You could have still been discrete about it instead of denying yourselves that possibility altogether. No wonder you're feeling so insecure and messed up. Have you two discussed that your relationship would finally have a chance when you find a different job? If not, you might find yourself taking big decisions and being in love with a still unavailable man. Don't pin too much hope on this and try to consider it just a flirt. Decide for what's best for yourself because you don't sound like you're together in this.

[smackie9]

Just keep your your goal to find another job. As for him you need to set boundaries with him, express your concerns about him losing his job and communicate your game plan. Communication is key to any relationship....you should be asking him what he is thinking because he is the only one that knows. Best of luck.