I don't understand the point of a relationship or the concept of love?

[Conor891]

Hello! I just joined this forum because I've been wanting to ask some questions. Its mostly because I simply lack the want of a relationship. It doesn't even feel like a temporary thing, I never was interested for years. The only time I did was probably my early teen years, but that just happens to everyone. I'm now 18 years old and I never had a girlfriend nor have I ever kissed anyone. I don't think I ever had someone want to be in a relationship or even flirt with me, and if they did I didn't notice. Everyone thinks that should bother me, which really makes me mad because I seriously don't care at all.

In fact the whole relationship thing kind of pisses me off sometimes because I constantly see people get into relationships and become completely depressed over it, and then ask me why I don't get a girlfriend. I even worked with a guy who seemed really desperate to me. It seemed like every month he was with a new girl who he was trying to get in a relationship with, and pretty much every time the girl didn't have any interest at all. One day he asked me if I was talking to any girls, and I told him I never had an interest in it at all. He seemed really confused by all this, and his next response was to ask if I was gay. To me, that was probably the stupidest response he could have made.

I hope this doesn't make it seem like I'm kind of heartless person, because really I value friendship over everything else. I will say that I'm socially awkward and I sometimes get nervous around new people, but people tell me I give the impression of being really friendly. I really enjoy talking to people helping them out, and even though I can be a bit nervous talking to people, I can't help but smile a lot when someone has a conversation with me. I actually have a lot of friends, I even made prom king in high school.

So I guess what I want to know is, besides all the flirting, kissing, love talk, touchy feely things, and even sex. What is the difference between a relationship and a friendship? Because when you take away those things, which to me don't mean anything, all I can think of is talking, doing things together, and sharing our problems and feelings, which all you need is a good friend for.

So can someone please tell me why relationships are so important to people, and why everyone thinks I'm weird for not wanting to be in one?

[basilandthyme]

Your friends are doing it wrong. The thing is, when a boyfriend or girlfriend pisses you off too often, you're supposed to dump them....not stay with them and be depressed about how shitty the whole thing is.

[Mattiemae]

You're doing everything correct! Friendship and companionship is what holds the foundation strong. The rest is just added luxuries. Really if you stick to doing things your way, a woman will come along that has the same point of view as you will on relationships and be a better match instead of playing the games everyone else does. So don't feel bad about not wanting to be in a superficial relationship.

There really is no difference other than you have affectionate part etc. etc. Depression comes when they play the unhealthy dysfunctional mind games. So if you ask me, you're just smarter, wiser, and not as dumb as other people to fall for certain things. I suppose if some woman came along and shared your views and was like minded you would be interested, and get along well. But from watching and observing others, you probably are learning to avoid all the mistakes they're making and saving yourself alot of heart ache and dissapointment.