Need advice please:( What is this supposed to mean? It was a tragic ending

[europeanfox]

So this guy who I stopped seeing a year ago drove by my work twice in the same week. The first time I was closing the restaurant on a Tuesday leaving my work at around 9:30pm - 10pm and was walking to my car. Then suddenly this car that was coming up from behind me sped up and then slowed right down when it reached next to me but a bit ahead so I couldn't look in the front windows. I automatically turned to my right side, faced the opposite way and pretended to be on my phone because I thought it was a creep. It was a nice black car not sure what kind of car cause I dont know much about cars. Anyways, the car was driving really slow now it seemed as if it didnt want to drive away from me and I was walking really slow hoping they would just drive away. Once I reached my car and I was standing next to it I hid behind the car that was parked infront so that whoever was in the black car couldnt see me. He kept driving really slow even when he couldnt see me anymore and once I felt there was enough distance for me to quickly get into my car without them being able to get me or do anything, I quickly got in and locked all doors. (my car was parked parallel on the right side of the road). The black car was still driving really slow almost at a stop and I guess it realized that I got in my carlol. About a minute later he or she or they(at this point I had no idea who it was I actually thought it was a creep someone who I dont know) drove off.

On Thursday that same week was my next shift and I worked evening again. I closed the restaurant and was ready to leave at around 9:30pm - 10pm again. Now this time I was still creeped out and was very cautious of my surroundings as Im walking to my car again. I made it to my car and before I got on the drivers side to get in, that was facing the side of the road, I looked all around me and made sure no one was driving by. When I realized no one was coming I quickly got on the drivers side, unlocked the door, got in my car and locked all doors. Now I was able to relax again and I took my phone out before I turned the car on to drive. Then all of a sudden I hear a car speeding up from behind again and it was the exact same engine sound that the black car made on Tuesday. Once the car reached my car it slowed right down again and stopped a bit infront of me again this time a bit further so I could only see the back of it. At the same time it slowed down, it stopped and honked. I knew it was honking at me to get my attention, and it was the same black car from Tuesday. I looked at the back of the black car and noticed that it had an N diplayed. So much was going through my mind I was so confused but I was still creeped out. Then the car drove away and that was the last time.

Now I realize and notice all the signs, it all points to one person. Unless it was a complete stranger/creep but the second time when the black car came back, he waited for me to get in my car and even honked. I have a feeling this person, who ever it is, knows me. All the signs lead to one person who keeps coming to mind. This guy who I stopped seeing a year ago. We ended on really bad terms unfortunately, not that we were anything anyways. He has his N and just a week before all this happened, even less than a week, I seen him drive by on the weekend (this was not intentional, I'm sure it was just a fluke) when I was walking to the entrance of this restaurant and he was driving really slow through the parking lot towards me in a really nice black car that looks identical to this black vehicle that drove by my work twice after that weekend.

If only I had some knowledge about cars cause then I could say for sure that its the exact same car but even though I dont know what kind of car it was, it still looked identical. I dont understand why he did this, what this is supposed to mean. Was he trying to creep me out? Was he hoping I would call him or something after? Does he still like me? What was he trying to do? It is really sad how him and I ended. I wish I could go back in time and change it but I can't. This also isn't only my fault that it turned out like this. I have a bf now and he has a gf. I dont know what he was thinking when he drove by my work like that, or what his intentions were. Anyways, I am looking for some advice on what you think it could possibly mean, what that was all about.

[Mattiemae]

Well first off, I'm not sure whether you really no for sure that it is your ex-boyfriend. Really it is not important whether it is or isn't, but that you report it to your supervisor, and also the police. I've been in this situation before, and it was a man stalking lots of woman, and detectives later arrested him. So for your safety, I would report it, so that nothing bad happens to you. If it is your ex-boyfriend, he'll probably just get a warning to leave you alone and move on with his life.

Does your work have camera's over where this happen. You can get the license plate, the make of the car, and they can run a check on them and see who it is. In my local community this happen to a woman, and she is now a missing person and they can't find her. So you really need to get smart, and allow other people to know what is going on, so they can put a stop too it!

[europeanfox]

This incident happened a year ago in May, so it's been about two years now that we stopped contacting each other. When this incident happened it was a year that him and I stopped talking. Sorry I made it sound like this incident happened not too long ago, I did that just to make it less confusing! But it's been a year now since he drove by my work like that. I am quite sure it was him but yeah I guess I really can't say for sure considering I can't say what kind of car it was just that it was a really nice black vehicle and they looked indentical. Just seemed too much of a coincidence. I guess I could still tell my boss about it but it happened so long ago now I really doubt I have anything to worry about. Do you think it's still necessary to tell people and my boss when it's been almost a year now? I'm pretty sure it was him and I would have nothing to worry about then I was just confused by it and didn't understand what that was all about. What that was supposed to mean, why did this person wait outside my work to drive by like that.

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He had his N displayed and I have a feeling he made sure that I would see it the second time to hint that it was him! When the vehicle came the second time and slowed down, stopped and honked, I could see the N right away and my first thought was "is that Jon"? And ever since then I've been way more certain it was him and not a stranger/creep. I only told people who I'm close too about it including my parents.

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Thank you for replying btw!! I do really appreciate it. I was just thinking about this all again last night and wanted to ask what others think cause I just heard about these forums a few months ago. It was very random and strange if it was him or not now. & if it was him (which I have a strong feeling it was) makes me mad that he would do this and not just msg me or talk to me.

[Smila]

Please for ease of reading....could you space out your writing into paragraphs.....Jeez!

I got a headache just trying to read your writeup

[europeanfox]

Ok I don't know if it makes sense with how I paragraphed it but I hope it is a bit better to read now lol

[Smila]

Much better.

I think you should first off talk to your supervisor, or better still head to the police and place a report. that way, they could send a police patrol over there once in a while..they could also keep an eye out for him.

Also, does he have your number?are you guys connected on FB (i mean your ex)if has your contact, why not get in touch with you instead of trying to freak you out.

Don't guess, take steps to protect yourself..it could be a stranger or him with evil intentions

[Sunnybeach7]

It probably was him.. maybe just he happened to see you that day, then just drove by again.. like to say "hi".. people do forgive and forget over time.. at least some people do.. I don't think it's anything to be overly concerned with. The real question would be why are you bringing this up now a year later and focusing on it so much that you want advice about it?

[europeanfox]

I got reminded of it again and I do still wonder about it, what that was all about, what his intentions were. I'm the type of person who needs to talk about it and I just heard about these forums recently and was curious to hear other peoples input on it because it was strange even so I don't feel like I need to worry too much about it.

He was my first real love, never knew how love felt like till I met him and I know he felt it too. I wasn't the only one who could tell lol but you also just know when they feel the same way. Unfortunately, it didn't work out and ended really bad. I hurt him and he hurt me, it went both ways. We acted like we didn't care about each other anymore cause we were mad at each other.

It's really sad how it all turned out...that it turned out this way. I was never so heartbroken in my life but I tried my best not to show it and tried to move on because I felt he didn't deserve me anymore. I would be lying if I say that I don't still think about it/him and I ****ing hate it. Every time I finally feel like I'm over it and stopped thinking about it, he would always manage to pop back up and then I think about it all over again. Like when he drove by my work like that or when he randomly msg me one time asking how I've been. After all that, I thought him and I made it crystal clear that we are through with each other. There's no way that this is love **** love if that's how it is

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It was def a strange approach. I did change my number recently and he doesn't have FB anymore. I'm sure he wouldn't dare to text me because he knows that if my bf sees it or finds out...it won't go well. He probably was also unsure if I would show my bf the msg and didn't want to take the risk. But who knows

I guess I should consider the other possibility more too though, better to be safe than sorry


Ok why does this last msg keep ending up here when I was replying to smila lol

[Sunnybeach7]

Ok why does this last msg keep ending up here when I was replying to smila lol

When you post replies in a row, they all seem to go onto the same post.. I don't think there is anything that can be done about that.

Anyway.. it sounds like you don't have the closure you need. Maybe you need to see and talk to him in person. Also people change, and everyone makes mistakes. It seems that you were hurting and afraid to express your real feelings to him at the time, and maybe he was feeling the same.. just my thoughts.

[europeanfox]

Yeah it would probably help but there's no way I'm going to try to contact him lol. If he really cares about me he can try harder because as far as I know he doesn't care about me, but as long as I have a bf theres no chance of that ever happeninglol & you think he waited for me outside my work so he could drive by like that was his way of saying hi?! Or

Thank you for telling me what your thoughts are about it! You have no idea how much I appreciate it. I hate that this happened and I hate that Im still hurt by it. Time does heal and it certainly has but still not completely. I just wish I knew what it meant, what it means when he waited for me outside my work just to drive by like that. I think he realized he creeped me out the first time which was why he waited till I got in my car before he drives by the second time and made sure I would see his N to hint it was him...but why?!

[Sunnybeach7]

It was just my thoughts of what it could be.. I can't say for sure.. maybe he has work or some other type of business in the area?

[loveagent3]

i wouldnt asume the worst

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but i woild block him on everything just in case

[europeanfox]

No he doesn't work in that area

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He seen me a few days before walking to the entrance of a restaurant then after that weekend he drove by my work on Tuesday and Thursday for some reason. He didn't just drive by he even waited for me to get out of my work so he could drive by me like that as I am walking to my vehicle. He also somehow knew what days I worked on! I don't know what the whole point of it was but I don't feel like I have anything to worry about because it happened almost a year ago now and I'm so sure it was him and not some stranger