Why is this such a mood-killer for my bf?

[dickriculous]

What do you suppose would happen if whenever a sex scene came up you didn't let it get to the point where his mental block kicks in? Before it gets there you start kissing him and sliding your hands underneath his shirt while saying something like "this is making me so wet...so hot with desire for you...I don't think I can control myself" as you pull his attention away from the TV and go from there. Keep the volume relatively low so that an abrupt "OH GOD FUKK ME!!! HARDER!!! HARDER!!! HARDER!!!" in the background doesn't trigger his mental block. Think it could work? If so, maybe actually having sex with you this way could help him clear this hurdle of his?

[searock]

Even if we are already having foreplay, if a sex scene comes up the mood is ruined for him, no matter what I do. Sometimes we are able to get back to us after the scene is over, but other times it doesn't happen and if I try harder it just makes it worse. We have also tried watching porn together, both before and during sex, but it just makes him uncomfortable. I guess the solution is to avoid movies that might have long sex scenes altogether. Maybe one day he'll feel comfortable enough to try and explain why that happens to him, for now I'll be content with the amazing sex we have every time it doesn't and try not to make a big deal of it.

[KingZ]

What do you suppose would happen if whenever a sex scene came up you didn't let it get to the point where his mental block kicks in? Before it gets there you start kissing him and sliding your hands underneath his shirt while saying something like "this is making me so wet...so hot with desire for you...I don't think I can control myself" as you pull his attention away from the TV and go from there. Keep the volume relatively low so that an abrupt "OH GOD FUKK ME!!! HARDER!!! HARDER!!! HARDER!!!" in the background doesn't trigger his mental block. Think it could work? If so, maybe actually having sex with you this way could help him clear this hurdle of his?

Only an idiot teenage boy would say something like this.

[dickriculous]

Only an idiot teenage boy would say something like this.

[KingZ]

Alright. Respect.

[brittany-pr]

show him that you trust him and he should trust you back. you need to create that bond where he shouldn't be embarrassed over small things like this in front of you. take things in small steps, tell him it's in the past and he needs to over come that fear especially with the girl he loves. maybe try over power his mood at those points in time, maybe block his view by sitting on him and kissing him with a cute smile? little things can change big problems

[Exeter19]

When my boyfriend and I are watching a movie at home (which generally means that we are going to have sex), if a sex scene comes up that is longer than, say, a minute, and that is quite graphic, it immediately kills his mood and he doesn't want to have sex anymore. He becomes uncomfortable and embarrassed for some reason. If we were playing with each other during the scene, he loses his erection and even after the scene is over he isn't able to get back to where we left off. Needless to say, it's quite frustrating as I am looking forward to having our usual amazing sex, but just like that his mood is ruined. I am also a bit worried because he feels bad about it and I don't want him to feel guilty, also I don't want him to think of sex as something that he "owes" me even when he's not in the mood, or anything like that.

I asked him why this happens (in the most calm and empathetic way possible) and he wasn't able to give me an answer, all he said was that watching long-ish sex scenes (not to mention porn) with me makes him uncomfortable and it kills his mood for the rest of the night. He asked me why it didn't have the same effect on me, I told him that while it does bother me to do stuff with him during those scenes (I find them distracting and mood-killing), once they're over I'm able to get back to us.

So my question is, do you have any theories as to why this happens? Does this happen (or has this ever happened) to you and/or your partner, and if so what is/was the reason? I'm just looking for hypothesis' here, I know that the only one who can truly answer this question is him. Thank you in advance :-).

maybe it feels like he has to compete with or go one better with you in person to what he is hearing obviously not watching during the movie sex scenes and it throws off his own rhythm with you. you could just put on music instead of a movie so roomies can't hear you having sex. or maybe he thinks the roomie thinks the movie ****ing is you guys and that makes him lose his erection and wants to stop because him thinking they think its you both embarrasses him. just don't put movies on anymore when having sex that will solve it.

[goodmorning]

Maybe he's catholic.

[asdfg789]

oh ! i know. he's a porn actor and any thought about work puts him off ??

[pcmaster]

Must be reminder of all the bitches he went thru lol.

[hatesthis]

Who wanted to put movies on in the first place to cover up your own sex sounds to the roommates, him or you? Is he embarrassed for them to hear you both having sex? Does it matter if the roommates hear you if they do they can leave the apartment if it makes THEM uncomfortable, you both are allowed to have sex and make noise. You pay rent too or he does not sure whose apt. When going to my ex's on weekends when doing a ldr at the time, he had a roommate and the guy would put his own music, headphones on or just go out while we were being intimate.

[searock]

Who wanted to put movies on in the first place to cover up your own sex sounds to the roommates, him or you?

Both of us. We don't mind having movies on per se, only long-ish sex scenes are a problem, and most movies don't have them anyway.

Does it matter if the roommates hear you if they do they can leave the apartment if it makes THEM uncomfortable, you both are allowed to have sex and make noise. You pay rent too or he does not sure whose apt. When going to my ex's on weekends when doing a ldr at the time, he had a roommate and the guy would put his own music, headphones on or just go out while we were being intimate.

I don't agree with this, I think every roommate should try to be as respectful as possible to the other roommates. It would be different if this were an LDR, but we see each other pretty often. I sure know I wouldn't enjoy hearing my roommates having sex!

[hatesthis]

But you pay rent and so does your bf, I assume so you have the right to enjoy yourself in your place you live. I don't imagine you both are moaning loudly banging walls and screaming when having sex so it shouldn't bother your roommates and they must have sex at the apt too and occasionally make some noise? Can you afford a motel for a change up once a week and you both can let loose then?