Need your help. Read our texts.

[456456]

I could use some outside input. After this convo I felt like I was being blamed by my gf. What I'm asking you isnt who is right, who is wrong. I'm just asking a question about English: is she blaming me for not coming? I couldnt help but feel defensive from the first message she sent me. Am I wrong for feeling like she was coming down on me? (I'm the blue text boxes, she's the white boxes.)

Dont get me wrong. This isnt descriptive of our relationship. Shes a great girl and I luh her.

[janie]

ya, she definitely isnt happy with you. Heres the thing you need to know about females tho. If somethins bothering us, it can affect ALL convos we have with you. thats just some girls though.

[Nora4]

you shouldn't tell you're going to visit and then not. She really wants to see you and you are prob one of these men that blows her off until it suits you.
She won't wait about forever.

[bekho]

Poor communication from the both of you. Neither of you can effectively convey your thoughts and feelings.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

[smackie9]

You show lack of any real interest in her because you make no effort to see her. You make other plans over making plans to be with her. She should just breakup with you instead of whining at you about it.

[456456]

Perhaps posting the images was too distracting of my question. I did not provide the information necessary to give anyone a picture of what is/was going on between us. There is no context (i.e. how often I see her, how far I drive to see her, how often she reciprocates by visiting me, whether I did in fact tell her I could visit this weekend, how my obligations to school come into play etc.) because I am not asking about who is in the right here. She and I talked this out and we'll work things out on our own. Seeking out relationship counseling on an internet forum is an absurdity in itself. It would be completely unsubstantiated to make any kind of broad conclusion about a stranger's relationship based solely on a 15 minute text conversation, and in that regard, every reply to this thread has been completely unhelpful.

Let me refocus my question. Like I said, this is only a question about English. I could just as easily ask someone in passing on the street or on another unrelated forum, but this is posted here because this forum is tangentially related.

Ok, here goes the question, so read carefully: Based on the language used in the texts, is she expressing just simple and impersonal disappointment that I am not with her, or is she trying to tell me that I am at fault for my own inaction?

In the future, it would be helpful for me to know whether she is simply stating that something would be nice or if she is trying to tell me I need to do something different. Again, I am not questioning whether or not her concerns are legitimate. I am only asking about the manner in which she is stating her concern. The key here is to find out how a common person would take that kind of conversation.

Any well-thought responses are greatly appreciated.

[basilandthyme]

You have a million excuses as to why you can't see her. She thinks they are lame excuses. Agree with Smackie that she should just dump you instead of complaining about it.

[456456]

Basil, please refer to my previous reply to the thread.

[smackie9]

Basically she is calling you out on every excuse, because there always seems to be so many, and your answers are lame. She is suspecting that you don't really have any interest in seeing her and she's very upset about it. She sees the writing on the wall.

Before you know it she's calling you up to end it. And it turns out she found herself sucking face with her roommate's male friend at a party for revenge.

[searock]

Why are you asking? Is she telling you, now, that she wasn't trying to blame you in those texts?

[456456]

searock, yes that is the case.

smackie9, your input is not helpful at all. See my 2nd post. You know almost none of the context of our situation. For instance, I have been driving 6 hours round trip on weekends to see her for about half a year, at least twice a month, usually more. She's come to visit me once. (We used to live in the same city.) Also I told her during the week that I wasn't sure if I'd be able to come because I had obligations here. Also, I don't have a million excuses. She just asks about the same one 13 times, because she doesn't seem to accept that my friend of 6 years needed me. I cant ignore my life here, especially my studies which are directly related to my career. This is all information that I did not give, because it is irrelevant to the question I am asking. It would do us all some good if you either read my post and comprehend my inquiry or not comment at all. Your input is nothing but inflammatory, and worst of all, judgmental. And this is based on minimal information. I would understand if you are 14 and think that whatever television show you watch gives you some kind of knowledge or experience, but in that case I don't know why you are giving any kind of advice. By your logic, I would break up with her because she didn't acknowledge when I offered for her to come here. But I am not a sociopath, so...

[janie]

dang smackie must have either got dumped or cheated on baaaaaaad

[lovesaidno]

I believe the answer to your question is a bit of both. She is expressing simple and impersonal disappointment that you are not with her, but also trying to tell you that you are at fault for your own inaction.

[Exeter19]

she is upset because you don't think of her only you and partying with your friends and she probs feels she is last on the list when it comes to you and you didn't nothing in those texts to make her see it differently. looks like you don't enjoy spending time with her that is why she is upset. try putting her 1st for once. the car thing looked bogus like an excuse was it because it was clear she saw it as a lie from you.

[smackie9]

dang smackie must have either got dumped or cheated on baaaaaaad

Nope just poking a sleeping bear with a sharp stick.

Anyways it's obvious your arrangement isn't working for her (6 hour drive to see someone is ridiculous), and she's just being a whinny bitch about it, instead of realizing she would be better off dating someone locally.