Should I tell my ex I am to be a dad and getting married?

[somehelp4me]

Or just let her find out from common friends at whatever point do I owe her anything does she deserve to know directly from me?

I've had male and female friends say don't tell, who cares what she thinks and had others tell me I should tell her myself.

We reside in the same city, so eventually she will hear about both. We don't have a talk all the time relationship, if we meet in passing we chat occasionally.

[smackie9]

Let her find out on her own. She is not a part of your life so don't worry about it. You are moving on with your life, focus on your future not your past.

[HeartIsAching]

What purpose would it serve?

[woody]

She is an Ex. Sounds like an amicable break as you still chat when you see her? How does your pregnant lady feel about you and the ex still on 'friendly' terms.
Pregnancy brings on a hormonal surge of all kinds of emotions. If I were you, I wouldn't want to do anything that might upset or stress out my baby mama.
This other gal is an ex for a reason. It truly is none of her business what your doing in your life; but it sounds like you feel obliged to tell her. Why? Do you think she may be holding on to hope regarding you and her? Would that be your motivation to tell her your going to be a Father?
Baby and Mama are priority # one. If this ex is lingering on due to lack of closure and your wondering if the 'fatherhood' will deter her, well, maybe you could have been more clear to her in the first place rather than using a pregnancy as your reason.
I don't know.

Why do feel like you owe it to her?
Or is it simply, she's a friend and you want to share the great news? Well, if she's still hoping and waiting for you, don't think your present lady won't sense that and the last thing you'd want to do is stress out baby and mama.
up to you.
goodluck and oh yes, congrats!

[basilandthyme]

It's never even occurred to me to inform an ex about my current life. What reasons do you have for thinking that you should tell her?

[hatesthis]

Do you think she'd be hurt to find out from others and not you, and why do you think that? Is she a very recent ex? Discuss it with your current partner you are having the baby with and marrying see what she'd prefer you do about it I would think she wouldn't want you worrying what an ex thinks.

[somehelp4me]

I consider personally telling my ex because she wanted us to get married and I didn't when together, and we are still on decent terms we don't hate the thought of the other our timing was off. I think she'll be hurt hearing it from others or reading it in the paper.

My fiancee wouldn't suggest telling her myself, but it is my choice if I do or not.

Thanks for the congrats, woody.

[smackie9]

I think it will just rub salt into the wounds if she would be THAT sensitive about it.

[somehelp4me]

I'm hoping by telling she can at least respect I told her myself being we are still friendly. But it could backfire going to decide this Saturday if I do or don't.

[basilandthyme]

If she'd be this sensitive about you getting married, then it would show that she still holds feelings for you. And if she still holds feelings for you, it's inappropriate for you to still be friends her now that you're with someone else.

How would you feel if your fiance was still on good terms with an ex who wouldn't take news of her upcoming wedding well?

[michelle23]

You are getting married and have a baby on the way. You shouldn't be thinking about your ex-let alone talking to her. You have a new family now and should be concentrating on them. Personally I think its wrong to stay on "friendly" terms with an ex unless you have kids. There is no need for you to say anything to her other than "hello" if you pass her in the street. And you shouldn't be texting, emailing or Facebooking her either just out of respect to your fiance

[somehelp4me]

I agree. I didn't tell her but one of my sisters did but not because I asked them too they saw her at the mall got talking she asked something regarding me and then it got said.

Apparently she looked bothered but no text or call off her to me after and I haven't reached out to discuss.

My fiancee is still friends with 2 of her ex's one guy is alright the other isn't even tolerable imo but I never said don't be friends so because of that I don't feel she has the right to turn around and comment on who I talk to or not but because she is pregnant I was being more considerate of things.

I don't really do social networking so that isn't a concern and if I did would have no time to spend logging in much lately. With that ex it is mostly in person hellos, coffee or text calls on occasion. There is no worry that I will cheat or have romantic interests in any of my ex's.

[IndiReloaded]

There is no reason to unless you, say, have a child together. Otherwise, do you tell your previous employers about your new jobs?

[bekho]

I think if you tell ur ex. It will firm up in both your minds that what u and your ex had is 100% in the past.

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[bekho]

Her first thought will be: why is he telling me this? And she'll conclude that its because he wants to choke the last breath out of those times to make sure neither of us are found wandering in those memories.

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