Should I give up on her?

[MrLiam]

Hi everyone, my first post here - so nice to meet everyone!
So, I went out last week with some friends and ended up meeting a friend of a friend. She was really nice and we got along really well, we were dancing all night together, hugging and inevitably we ended up kissing. I asked for her number but she said because she's at University I can't have it, but when she finishes next month I can have it if I still like her. We were not very drunk when she told me this by the way.
Anyway, a few days later my friend said the two of them were texting, and it ended up that she said I'm really sweet and nice, but I'm too young for her (Just under 2 year gap). My friend said that he thinks she's just nervous and doesn't know what to do because she has never had a boyfriend before. I've messaged her myself since (on Facebook) but she seems a bit 'off' with me, as in not trying to keep the conversation going. I like her, but I'm thinking maybe it's best to just give up for now? I'm really not very good at reading situations like this at all. Thanks in advance for any help.

[TheEvilJester]

I have to say, this does seem to be a bit of a case of the girl sending mixed signals. I would be tempted to say that the fact that she didn't give you her phone number, and says you are too young, is evidence that she is not interested, and that is unlikely to change. Saying that you can have her phone number if you still want it when she graduates seems just an easy way to let you down. Dangle that carrot like there is still some chance.

Yet, at the same time, women do not tend to kiss somebody if they do not have any interest in them. Maybe I am the wrong person to ask this question, since I tend to be a hopeless romantic. However, my personal thought, were I in the same situation, would be to keep in touch with her, but not let that stop me from still looking to date other women. In other words, I wouldn't just break all contact and forget about her. However, I would proceed with my life with the assumption it was never going to happen, and allow myself to be presently surprised if somehow it actually did.

After all, your friend could be right that she just is nervous about being in a relationship. It could also be she is just a little unsure about the age difference (2 years really isn't that much if you ask me, though). Also, the fact that she doesn't seem interested in talking much when you message her on Facebook could just be who she is. Some people just aren't into having long conversations online. Some of my best friends are like that, and not just my male friends.

Still, when it comes right down to it, women are usually pretty clear if they are not interested in a guy as more than friends. So, I guess my advice to you would be, for now just assume she is only interested in you as a friend. Continue to try to be friends, but just think of it like that. If she starts to show interest in more, then feel free to pursue it. Otherwise, just keep getting out there to try to find other women. If you find somebody and she suddenly becomes interested, then that is her loss. Either way, good luck!

[AnErin]

If she never had a B/F before, a relationship with her might be more work than you want to deal with.

[MrLiam]

I really appreciate that reply EvilJester, that's helped me a lot. I've met another girl since but theres just something about this other girl, I just really like her. I'm going to follow your advice and just be friends for now, and maybe something more will happen along the line. I was having a nice conversation with her this evening for the first time on Facebook, she told me she's back April 9th, and I am tempted to ask her to come out somewhere, but I really dont know how she'll respond!

[TheEvilJester]

Just remember, though, it is important not to get hung up on her. In other words, she has made it clear she isn't interested in being anything more than friends, at least for right now. So, don't remain friends with her if that means you are really just going to be waiting around hoping that will change. If you do that, you could very well be wasting your time. If you can remain friends with her, but still be able to move on and date other women (without just secretly wishing you were dating her) then proceed. You never know what may happen. You could find somebody else and fall in love, or in time she could possibly even become interested in you. You just don't want to wait around just hoping that will happen. Otherwise, it may be best just to keep your distance from her. Either way, good luck, my friend.

[Kevz]

Sounds like she's not interested, if she was she would have given you that number. She was being nice and let you down easily.

[TheEvilJester]

Yes. Agreed that this is a very distinct possibility. Typically, if a woman is interested, she is interested. I mean, that isn't to say it is 100% certain. She could just be a little shy, and uncertain if she is ready to date, especially considering the news you learned that she has never been in a relationship. Still, chances are if she were interested, she'd have given you her number. So, as I said, I wouldn't count on anything happening with her. If it actually does in time, then great. Just don't wait around hoping it does.

[smiling100]

The fact she didn't give you her number says to me she is not interested.

If you want to know if she is interested or not don't contact her via facebook. Let her contact you.

If she does not contact you it's pretty safe to say she is not interested.