Ladies can you give me any helpful advice?

[phil7]

I will try to be as detailed as possible that way everybody understands.
Me and my ex girlfriend broke up march 15, which is about a week and half ago.
We had been dating since last summer. At the time i lived in Phoenix, Arizona. She lived in Tucson, Arizona. We talked everyday through text all of june, then in July i went over to Tucson (which is about about 100 miles south of Phoenix). I went for 3 days and stayed at hotel since she lived with her mom. We hung out all 3 days and had a great time. At the time we were still friends, i went back to Phoenix sunday night after spending friday, saturday, and sunday with her. 10 minutes after i took off to phoenix she texted me thanking me for coming there and spending the weekend with her, she said she really liked me, but wasn't sure if a relationship between us would workout as she was soon moving to California. We kept talking the whole week and i told i could come back the next weekend. I went back the next weekend at 7am in the morning, spent all day with her then drove back to phoenix that same night, but before leaving i asked her to be my girlfriend. She didn't really hear me as i whispered it to her so when she asked what i was saying it felt a little awkward and i just pretended like i didn't say anything. When i was dropping her off she kept going about how she wish i could stay and didn't want me to leave, we kissed, she got out of the car and i took of too Phoenix. The next day we were texting and somehow in the conversation we were talking about much fun we had the day before. She then asked what i was trying to tell her, i then told her i had asked to be my girlfriend but seeing as she didn't really hear me i thought she was pretending not to and it felt a little awkward. She replied with a " Yes of course i wanna be your girlfriend". The next weekend she decided to drive down to phoenix, because we figured it was a bigger city and there were more things to do here anyway. We kept driving to tucson and her to phoenix every weekend just to spend time with each other. A month later around the end of august she came to phoenix on a wednesday and spent wednesday and thursday with. She came during the week as she couldn't come during the weekend as she had to drive to California to start college. The first two weeks there she gave about 3 guys her number. I went two visit her two weeks later from when she left. I told her i didn't like her giving her number out to random guys as i didn't do that. That it didn't make me comfortable and she should stop doing that. She then promised me to stop and well i went to visit every two weeks up until halloween which is when she came over to spend it with me, then came back for thanksgiving also. She then left to cali for about 10 days to finish the semester and came back to phoenix. We spent two weeks together, the whole day, sleeping and waking up next to one another. Then she left to spend Christmas with her mother, then came back the next day after christmas as we were leaving to vegas. We left to vegas on a Friday, we were beginning to have a good time, but the next day she started feeling sick. We spent a week in vegas, but she couldn't really do much bc she was sick so we spent most of the day in the room. The day we were leaving i began to feel sick, when we got to phoenix i got sick, and again we spent the whole week inside since we were still recovering. We then drove to Tucson to go visit her mom and spent around 3 weeks together there until she had to leave for school at the end of January. She came back two weeks later to spend Valentines with me and left 5 days later. This is we're it all began. A week later after being back in Cali. I remember the exact date is was on February 24, 2014. She text me i'm giving someone a ride, i asked who? she said a kid. So i thought okay whatever. I then called her as we always talked when she was on her way to school, she picked then picked up, and told me i can't talk on the phone. I said why? She said because i'm giving a guy a ride, i then told her well you give your girl roommates rides all the time and we still always talk on the phone without a problem. Plus it's a stranger why should that even matter anyway, she than I can't talk i right now again. I then began to freak out and scream saying wtf this is **** then her voice began to get nervous and she didn't argue as if she didn't want the guy to hear. Then said alright well i got to go bye. I called her back and she texted me back as she was driving, i can't talk right now...i then said but you can text me back wtf? Then i called her again two times and she didn't pick up so i left her alone. 30 minutes later she calls saying hey sorry i couldn't talk i had a stranger in the car. I was all like thats **** we always talk even if theres someone in the car whats different today then told her **** off leave me the **** alone **** ****. We didn't text or call each other the rest of the day, the next day at around 11pm she texted me. Saying she was broken and how she didn't go out all day bc she was depressed from what had happened. I asked her who the kid was, she said that while she was in the cafeteria a kid asked her at what time the next bus was. She told him she didn't know that she drove to school, and he then asked for a ride and she agreed to give him a ride. I told her that didn't make me comfortable that she couldn't talk on the phone and giving strangers rides at night wasn't a good idea. She then said you should let me make my own decisions and went on how i was trying to control her. I again told her, that while she's in Cali i don't go out to parties, or clubs, give out my number to random girls, or pick up random girls on my car to give them rides. She then said there's nothing bad with giving a guy a ride and i would do it again. We then went on as friends for the next two days and then she said she wanted to be with me but she didn't want me controlling her every move. We then agreed that i wouldn't tell her what to do or what was right or wrong to do. But that her giving random strangers her numbers was not chill, and she said well i just gave him a ride to school. We then moved on from that and about 2 weeks later we were planning our spring break. Which was going to be from March 20 to March 21 first. We were gonna go to San diego As we were both planning to move there together over the summer and go to school together( she currently lives in Santa Barbarra). Well on March 02, she said if i could come sooner than march 20 and we could spend a few weeks together as well before spring break. I then agreed to come the next week but later she texted me asking me if i would leave that very same day. I was like yeah that would be amazing. An hour later she text me saying here your plane leaves in 3 hours, she bought me a plane ticket there that left March, 02 and came back March 31st. Well i went since i am currently doing online school, it worked out great for the first week. She only had school on mondays and wednesdays and i did all my work while she was at school. The rest of the days we spent them at the beach or exploring. Then sunday morning as we were getting back from the store. She saw a guy that was friends with her and her roommates (he was a surfer) he had told them that he was giving surfing lessons, that he had a couple surf boards and wet suits. He then asked her if she wanted to go surfing and she said yeah, well she got his number no big deal. Asked me if i wanted to go? I said sure and she asked him if we could go the next ( she hadnt told him i was going) well we didn't wake up that tuesday. So on Thursday morning we were bored and i told her hey you should text that guy and ask him if he's down to go surfing ( since he has all the gear). She then did and he said sure. I told her to text him that i was coming too. Then 20 minutes later he showed up with just one wet suite for him and her and one surf board...she then looked at me but we just got in the car and went to the beach. She kept making comments like you can just watch, you said you're afraid of sharks anyway. Or you can go out without a wet suite (but it wasn't even spring break and the water is super cold). I was already mad and she could see it, i then told them you know what i'm gonna walk back to the room. I don't wanna be sitting there while you guys are surfing...she knew i was already very upset. She said just stay here and watch and i said no. Well i left and watch from a distance as she surfed and he was supposedly trying to tell her how to surf for an hour. She only caught one wave. An hour later she left him there to go back to the room with me and told him to just text her when he was done that she would go back and pick him up. I then walked back to the house and didn't want her to see i hadn't left. She then got there first, and as i was getting there she was leaving again, and said hey where were you i was looking for you. I was like **** off **** and threw my swit suit at her. She then went and picked him up and went i got the room there was a note saying don't leave I'm looking for you right now. She then got back and i had already packed all my stuff, she wouldn't let me leave, and i kept saying no i don't wanna be with you anymore what you did to me was **** up. **** **** you don't care about me..your selfish. I then left and walked outside and was trying to call a taxi to get me to the airport, she then walked outside and said she would give me a ride. I said yes but later we ran out of gas and there were no gas stations near by so we had to turn back. We then turned back and she apologized and at night while i was at asleep she again woke me up to apologize and said she was sorry that what she had done wasn't good. That she would've felt and reacted the same way as i did. Well we moved on from that but saturday night we were walking to a party, and on our way we, she was like hey look theres that guy i gave a ride to at that sub place. I was like oh ha. She was like he texted me the other day if i could him a ride. And i was like what? I THOUGHT HE WAS A STRANGER...HOW THE **** DID HE GET YOUR NUMBER? She was all like well that day that i gave him a ride i gave him my number so i could give him a ride back. I was like wtf...you never told me that. She was like we were texting about how you freaked out and about you. And i was like let me...and she was like look and I was like theres only one text in which he's asking if you can give him a ride? she was like yeah i erased the other texts so you wouldn't get mad. Then i was like wtf this is **** and took her phone. She then started walking back and when i was on my way back she was there talking to him, i then stopped and told him. You would be mad if your girlfriend was doing the same thing. He was like if my girlfriend flirted or gave an attractive guy her number i wouldn't care i don't have trust issues. I was like **** then left..then she followed me and we went back to her place. She then kept saying babe sorry, and kept getting on top of me and i kept saying get off me get off. She kept trying to kiss me for a while. And i kept calling her names. She then got off. She knew i had her iPhone so she went and erased everything from iCloud. I then gave it back to her. I was like I'm leaving and without her seeing got her car keys and slept on in her car. The next day i went back and she was like you can sleep on my bed and i was like i just need to get my suite case and leave. She then said lets go to the leave room come and i went and she was offering me food to eat and i said no. I then asked for her phone to call a cab and my mom, she then left to the rest room. I saw she was texting her friends about how she about cared me and loved, they were saying to not blame her self that i was abusing her and taking advantage bc i knew she cared about me. Well i called my sister to call my mom so she could transfer money to my other account as one of my accounts was frozen at the time. She then said hold on I'm going to take a shower, came back got on the computer and bought me a plane ticket. She then drove me to the airport, while at the airport i was looking for my it number so texted her from my email as my phone was dead. She then gave it to me and said leave me alone your psycho and abusive this is all your fault. I then got mad and was like I'm gonna tell your roommates all the **** you talk about them then maybe everyone will see how much of a fake person you are. But i was just mad i didn't really mean any of that. While on the plane i was thinking a lot and thought that maybe it was all my fault for over reacting and that maybe if i had been more understanding and talked like a normal person. That maybe we could've fixed things and nothing would've went to that extend. Well i tried texting her and calling her when i got home but noticed she had changed her number already. I tried messing her on Facebook and said leave me alone. Then i told her that i was sorry for freaking out and over reacting and so on. That i would pay her the money that she payed and fly back out there the next day.

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She then replied with " Look you've put me through enough **** and I'm not gonna be a part of it anymore. You need to be a man and know when to stop. You need to **** treat me with respect and listen when I tell you to leave me alone. You can't force me to listen to any of your ****, I don't want to hear it. No more walking all over me I will not tolerate harassment and I will take whatever measures necessary if you do not leave me alone. I know you don't understand the seriousness of what you've done to me because ive tolerated it in the past but know that now is the time when you really need to stop. I always used to try to get through to you & make you realize what's wrong with you but it is a waste of time and really dumb of me, you're a lost cause. I will not be **** abused any longer. Get the **** away from me I dont care what youre going through,right now I am only concerned about what's best for me. And you have to leave me alone.You have already crossed the line over and over again and don't think I will sit back and let it happen or tolerate it like I used to.I'm telling you do not message me again trying to express or explain anything. I repeat DO NOT contact me again.

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I'll post more when someone replies, it doesn't let me post the rest.

[basilandthyme]

advice: please use paragraph breaks. And keep it succinct. If you make it readable, people will come.

[surfhb2]

Jeesh! You sound like a complete loser.

You're abusive, controlling and have trust issues.....just like that guy said.

Good luck

[phil7]

Well i was looking forward to something more helpful than that but geeez okay then...I see that putting me down is the only responses that i will get here.

[surfhb2]

Well i was looking forward to something more helpful than that but geeez okay then...I see that putting me down is the only responses that i will get here.

Seriously Bro? Reread what you wrote and your reactions to this girl and tell me again that they were justified and/or appropriate. You have issues to work on

I think so, your ex Gf thinks so and so does the guy you mentioned....just saying.

[michelle23]

Im sorry but Im not gonna read a whole book. We dont need every detail of every minute you spent together. Please just get to the point and explain how the problems started and why you split up and what your question is. Youll get a lot more replies that way

[Starnique]

I would give you advice since I'm such a ****ing lady but that wall of text.....hell no.

[phil7]

So basically she gave a guy a ride after Valentines day when she went back to Cali.
The story she told me was that she went to eat down to the cafeteria before school and a guy asked her at what time the bus passed.
She said she didn't as she drove to school and he asked for a ride. She told her yes. But before that happened she had told me to call her in 10 minutes.
I did and she picked up and said she couldn't talk. I asked why and she replied by saying she was giving a someone a ride.
I asked her who she said some guy (stranger) i then told her well we can still talk on the phone. She i can't talk right now i got to go.
I then freaked out and was like well why does it matter if you have a stranger in the car or no? What difference does that make if when
you have your girl roommates you always call me or ask me to talk. She then said i gotta go and hung up on me. Then i called her back and she replied
with a text that said i can't talk right now. I then pick up. I called again and she didn't reply so i stopped. She then called me about 30 minutes later.
She said was giving a guy she had met at the cafeteria a ride and that's why she couldn't talk on the phone. I told her once more that it shouldn't matter
if it was a stranger, that why did she care so much to be on the phone he was in the car. She proceeded to say she had done nothing wrong and
that's when i was like i never do that to you...then i freaked out and said leave me alone **** off whore.

We didn't talk the rest of the night, the next night she text me a long message. Calling me irrational and what not.
She said she hadn't done anything wrong and if she had to she would do it again. I ended up giving her the benefit of the doubt but i told it just didn't make me comfortable that she was doing that. Not bc i didn't trust her but bc i didn't trust him and she shouldn't trust strangers, plus it was dark outside already.
We then moved on from that.

Two weeks later, i go to Cali and one night when we are walking to a friends house. She points out the guy and is like look!! There's the guy i gave a ride to.
I just said oh i see!! But as we kept walking she was all like...yeah he texted me asking me for a ride the other day. And i was like wait....if he was a stranger how'd he get your number and why'd you give him your number? She said well bc i gave him a ride back so i gave him my number so he could text me after class.
Then continued to say....We were texting and were talking about you. Then i was like wait, wait, wait what!!! Then i was like let me see, she then showed me but when she did she only had the text in which he was asking her for a ride. I asked..where are all the others texts? She was all like well i erased them so you wouldn't get mad.
Then out of anger i freaked out...lost control of myself...called her names..and what not. That is what happened. What are your thoughts? After everything she still doesn't think she did anything wrong. I don't give go out giving my number to random girls, new girls, stranger girls. I just prefer to respect her that way. Please give me some advice. I already apologized numerous times, but she thinks she is a victim and everything is my fault. Which i know shouldn't of called her names or took control of the situation in a more mature way rather than just going off on her but i just couldn't at the time.

[surfhb2]

...then i freaked out and said leave me alone **** off whore.

Which i know shouldn't of called her names or took control of the situation in a more mature way rather than just going off on her but i just couldn't at the time.

Dude! Stop wasting our time and go get some help for your issues. While youre at it, learn how to talk to a woman

[michelle23]

I can see why this bothered you but freaking out and calling her names etc is wrong no matter what the circumstances. You need to learn to control your emotions and learn to communicate better.

Im assuming this is long distance? And its obviously creating a lot of anxiety and trust issues so maybe your better off finding a local gf who doesnt make you crazy and forget this one