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Thread: I don't understand the female romantic...

  1. #1
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    Mar 2014
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    I don't understand the female romantic...

    This read will probably take you 6-7 minutes.

    There's this girl (typical intro, I know), we'll call her Anna (that's not her actual name). I was on a trip with some friends (including her) in a hotel. One day I'm a little stoned, and a group of us comes to hang out with me in my room, she's one of them.

    Randomly, (without any ice-breaking, I should mention) she asks me "So, Anthony, who are you taking to prom?" (I'm a high school senior). I, not taking the hint, ask "I dunno who do you think I should ask?" At this point, she turns away (but I was staring at the ceiling anyway so we weren't making eye contact) but she says "I dunno." It hits me a few minutes later: "maybe she wants me to ask her," think. I think George understood what was happening, so he handed me a condom. Again, I was staring at the ceiling, but I'm reasonably certain that she saw me put the condom in my wallet (I was not planning to have sex with her though) and I don't know whether or not this offended her or made her feel uncomfortable so this is my first question:

    If, after such a conversation, a friend hands a potential interest a condom, how would you feel? (for the ladies).

    About half of us, including Anna, go out to some karaoke thing, but I'm buzzing out and not particularly interested so I stay. My friend Mikaela comes back with Anna who is sick from the booze. I tell Mikaela to go back and party while I take care of Anna (I would have done this for any of my friends, not just her) and this is pretty obvious to my friends too.

    After she's done puking, I get ready for bed (take off shirt and pants, put on shorts), grab a bag, bring her to her bed and lie down next to her. The next day she wakes up not remembering anything next to her friend (me) who is shirtless. I think she thought we had sex (which we didn't because I wouldn't take advantage of someone while drunk. My friends regard me as a relatively nice guy and they're surprised when I tell them this part of the story).

    Anna has been friends with another one of us, who we'll call Vince, for quite a few years. If she's into me at all, it's likely that he knows. When he keeps encouraging me to talk to her, I take this as a hint. However, the rest of the trip, we don't talk much and she seemed to avoid me. For example, if I sat down next to her, she would hastily get up and stand.

    After we got back, I called her to see if she wanted to hang out, and she suggested Sunday, but she also said she had stuff to do on Sunday and began listing them to herself. I cut her off, politely and said "Alright just let me know if you're free and want to hang out!" She didn't text for about a week, so I asked her again, this time through text, but she said she was busy (I have other reasons to believe she was actually busy) so I told her what days in the upcoming week I was free and told her to text me if she wanted to hang out.

    One week later is today and nothing. Except for small talk, we don't talk much at school. I have one class and lunch with her.

    What the heck is going through her head?
    On one hand, you don't just ask a dude to prom and have your friend be his wingman for you without something going on. On the other, why not text back?

    These... shenanigans... are why before this trip, I was completely uninterested in the idea of a relationship. I'm still not even sure if I'm into her or not. I think the idea that she might be into me just got my attention more than is healthy for me.

    Thanks for reading, I know it was long!

  2. #2
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    No, that's not long at all. Perfect new post length.

    I think you have to forget about all that happened a week ago. You were all drunk/stoned and none of you would have been behaving normally....and with this in mind, none of us can guess at what she may or may not have been thinking.

    If you want to get to know her better, do it in person. Approach her with something like "we had a lot of fun last week and I'd really like to get to know you better" and see how it goes. If she gives you positive feedback, agree on a time when the two of you can hang out.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  3. #3
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    I think she was interested until the whole condom incident. It made you look bad. I think you should talk to her and explain that you wernt looking for sex but took the condom coz you didnt know what else to do. If you like this girl then prove to her you can be trusted. Good luck
    "Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".

  4. #4
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    Oct 2012
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    The whole passing condom thing made you look bad. Omg, kids these days are passing around condoms! At least go through university/college first.
    A strong woman takes advantage of help she can get from people around her but she doesn't rely on them for anything

    She uses logic and manages her emotions

    She offers help either because it is a business transaction or out of kindness. It is never because she hopes others will return the favour or out of fear of losing them

    She has her own mind and thinks for herself and knows that she has to be the one who bears the consequences of her decisions

  5. #5
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    Mar 2014
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    I was afraid of this answer. Thanks for the help, at least I'm certain about what I need to do to maintain my friendship, which is all I'm looking for at this point

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