My boyfriend has a lot of female friends? Advice

[Jessica1]

Hello,

My boyfriend of 6 months and I are both 21 and we are in college dating long distance--about 2 hours away from each other.
I love him and he loves me---he visits very often about 3 times a month.
The only problem I see with him is his sheer amount of female friends and his inability to see why I, as his girlfriend, am quite uncomfortable with it. Am I just being insecure?

So my boyfriend, before we even got together, always had girls flock to him as friends---he is a nice guy who just doesnt engage in sexual activities. He was celibate for about 2 years before he met me. I dont think he is having sex with these girls but I am still bothered by how much they are around him and/or text him. when they visit him, they sleep on his floor. i still just dont like the idea of female-male sleepovers even if the relationship is platonic---i dont think he is even phased or sees why they are odd to me.
Girl #1: his friend since freshman year. they constantly text--shes always asking him for advice about her relationships/life. she probably annoys me more than all the others. he says they are like brother and sister and would never even consider dating. she has stayed over for a weekend and slept on his floor. our birthdays are a day apart and my bf suggested we all celebrate together--the three of us -____-
Girl #2: has been his friend since childhood. they grew up together, like brother and sister. she has also spent the night.
Girl #3: also a friend from freshman year and they made a marriage pact that if they arent married by a certain age, they would just marry each other. says he doesnt talk to her as much anymore but he still considers her a close friend
Girl #4: a friend from sophomore year. they go to church together, eat together, just recently went to boat cruise together. he told me they werent going as a date but they took very friendly pictures together.

on FB, you just see a lot of photos with him and girlssss. when we first started talking i did wonder if he was gay bec of all the female friends he had. he says he isnt and i dont think he is bec he gets turned on by me. We text all the time and skype allll the time but honestly, i just dnt like that he has so many (yes 4 is a lot to me) girl friends in his life. He says that by the time that college ends, he probably wont talk to any of them but like still what if he still does? It just makes me uncomfortable and when I told him that he was like "please dont be a controlling gf"..that was strange bec i didnt tell him not to talk to girls, i just said that all the girls around makes me uncomfortable sometime.

What do I do? I am truly uncomfortable but I really do want this relationship to last. Do I sound like I am just being insecure?
I try to explain to him that I am not afraid of physical cheating but more about the Emotional element....I just think it is very dangerous to be so connected to other women all the time

[Wakeup]

Duplicate to: https://www.loveforum.net/threads/88770-My-boyfriend-has-a-lot-of-female-friends-Advice

[Boisdevie]

I try to explain to him that I am not afraid of physical cheating but more about the Emotional element....I just think it is very dangerous to be so connected to other women all the time

Dangerous? Don't you think you're getting a bit over-excited about this? He's clearly not shagging any of these women and has no wish to do so. And remember his friends were there before you arrived on the scene and in all likelihood will still be there once you're relationship with him is history. They are his friends.

[fearoflove]

Dangerous? Don't you think you're getting a bit over-excited about this? He's clearly not shagging any of these women and has no wish to do so. And remember his friends were there before you arrived on the scene and in all likelihood will still be there once you're relationship with him is history. They are his friends.

Hahhaha. RIGHT.

The guy likes the attention and it gives him an ego boost to have all these girls around. When guys are friends with girls, they are at least mildly interested in having romantic relations with them. I have never had any guys who were friends with me who wasn't interested in me that way with the exception of one guy who turned out to be gay.

But hold on there. Don't give him an ultimatum. It might end up with you two fighting and then breaking up. If he wants to keep your relationship, he won't cheat on you. As long as he is reminded that you are the best he can get and you remain a challenge, his heart won't stray. Bringing this up and being the jealous girlfriend would not make you attractive to him. So, just pretend you don't care.

[michelle23]

Why are you still with him? I bet if it was the other way around he would freak out. Tell him your having a sleepover with a male friend and see how he reacts. This is completely unacceptable and he definately likes these girls as more than friends. Men and women are never just friends unless they are gay or uglier than the back of a bus. I would dump him but I think you should play him at his own game for awhile first just to prove a point.

[surfhb2]

Lol. Yeah...Only Real Men hang out with girls and give them relationship advice while strictly keeping it plutonic.

Just laughable.

[sexloveexpert]

hahahah..dnt be overconfident buddy ...what you mean by likes those girl more tham frnds ??? one them his sister ..how can you compare a sis and a lover...

[Wakeup]

"sexloveexpert?" Wait, what?