Help! I need closure from my ex-boyfriend!

[confused37]

My ex boyfriend broke up with me. We had awesome chemistry, really hot! We also enjoyed spending time together as friends. We were together 7 months. However, he was the strong, silent type so I wasn't sure about sharing deep, dark secrets with him so I didn't. Eventually, I found that I had to go the hospital for an eating disorder I needed free of. After I got out of the hospital, he didn't contact me. I finally called him after 2 weeks and he said he was breaking up with me because he didn't want to put any pressure on me. He said that girls with eating disorders feel pressure from their boyfriends to be thin. He sounded upset, like he was going to cry, so I guess he was sincere. I didn't know what to do since I had never been "dumped" before, so to save my pride, I accepted it. I busied myself with friends and went out allot. Then I got a message that he called. I didn't call back because I was mad that he dumped me and when I needed him. That was years ago. Now I realize that I need closure. I need to know if he was lying to me or really cared. Was it my fault that I didn't share enough or ask the right questions? Should I have fought for the relationship and not been concerned about "pride"? I found that he lost 2 members of his family over a year ago, so I contacted him on facebook. I told him how sorry I was for him and his family and I was here if he needed anything. He never responded to me. It's been over a year. Should I apologize for not being more open to open the lines of communication for closure? Really this is bugging me, and I really need answered questions. Help?

[Wakeup]

My ex boyfriend broke up with me. We had awesome chemistry, really hot! We also enjoyed spending time together as friends. We were together 7 months. However, he was the strong, silent type so I wasn't sure about sharing deep, dark secrets with him so I didn't. Eventually, I found that I had to go the hospital for an eating disorder I needed free of. After I got out of the hospital, he didn't contact me. I finally called him after 2 weeks and he said he was breaking up with me because he didn't want to put any pressure on me. He said that girls with eating disorders feel pressure from their boyfriends to be thin. He sounded upset, like he was going to cry, so I guess he was sincere. I didn't know what to do since I had never been "dumped" before, so to save my pride, I accepted it. I busied myself with friends and went out allot. Then I got a message that he called. I didn't call back because I was mad that he dumped me and when I needed him. That was years ago. Now I realize that I need closure. I need to know if he was lying to me or really cared. Was it my fault that I didn't share enough or ask the right questions? Should I have fought for the relationship and not been concerned about "pride"? I found that he lost 2 members of his family over a year ago, so I contacted him on facebook. I told him how sorry I was for him and his family and I was here if he needed anything. He never responded to me. It's been over a year. Should I apologize for not being more open to open the lines of communication for closure? Really this is bugging me, and I really need answered questions. Help?

He never responded to you so there is your closure. Knowing that he doesn't want to talk to you gives you perfect closure and should, if you are not obsessed with being selfish by making him give you something that comes from within, be enough for you to be able to move on, on your own.

Stop expecting him to satisfy your need when your need is something you give yourself.

You will never get closure from him because everything he says to you, you will have some counter argument that you will just need him to reply to.

Move on sister. He clearly has and if you can't do that by yourself and by reaching into your own ability to reason then get professional help to aid you in figuring it out without his help.

[confused37]

He never responded to you so there is your closure. Knowing that he doesn't want to talk to you gives you perfect closure and should, if you are not obsessed with being selfish by making him give you something that comes from within, be enough for you to be able to move on, on your own.

Stop expecting him to satisfy your need when your need is something you give yourself.

You will never get closure from him because everything he says to you, you will have some counter argument that you will just need him to reply to.

Move on sister. He clearly has and if you can't do that by yourself and by reaching into your own ability to reason then get professional help to aid you in figuring it out without his help.

You are a little harsh and not very nice! I don't believe I'm being selfish by needing a few questions answered. I'm sorry you're so angry. Perhaps you've had some experience in this as well.

[Boisdevie]

You are a little harsh and not very nice! I don't believe I'm being selfish by needing a few questions answered. I'm sorry you're so angry. Perhaps you've had some experience in this as well.

Oh dear, didn't get the answer you wanted? Listen sister, closure is just a bullshit word. He's gone. Deal with it.

[Wakeup]

You are a little harsh and not very nice! I don't believe I'm being selfish by needing a few questions answered. I'm sorry you're so angry. Perhaps you've had some experience in this as well.

... and you are a little obsessed with some old boyfriend that has clearly moved on. YOU not believing that you are being selfish is why I suggest you get professional therapy. He/she will help you to figure out why doing what you want to do is putting the onus on him when he wants nothing further to do with you.
If he ignores you again, how will you feel then? You need to figure this out on your own in order to move on.

There is nothing harsh or "not nice" about giving you the advise you asked for. Sorry I'm not going to enable you by telling you what you want to hear.

[bekho]

After not being in contact for so long, he's probably had other adventures and experiences after you. So you contacting him out of the blue, probably is not as significant an event for him as it is for you. If he doesn't send an email back just be happy for him that he doesn't need your help and wish him happiness.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk