Penny for your thoughts....

[spikeyv]

My mind is clouded so I wanted some thoughts on my dilemma...

My fiancé sent me a bunch of balloons to work yesterday and whilst I was so embarrassed it was a lovely thought. Anyway I didn't message her after receiving the gift, partly because I wanted her to sweat a bit and also because I was seeing her later and wanted to get her a bunch of flowers as my own gift to her.
Anyway few hours later she asked me if I got the balloons and I said I had, but she felt as if I didn't appreciate them because I didn't message her straight away and she was fuming angry with me (which I can understand) I still drove to see her and took her to dinner. She was cold and not very engaging but I tried to explain and make her feel better.

Anyway back home I felt as though she was still annoyed with me and rather then upset her further I decided to sleep in the spare bed. also for the fact I didn't want to jump in bed with her and be rejected. Anyway this has added fuel to the fire and now she is even more angry. Apparently she was ok before bedtime and I shouldn't have slept in the spare bed.

She tells me she doesn't know if she wants me anymore. we've had arguments like this for a few weeks now.

am I just a stupid guy who messes things up? and doesn't understand women?

[Mooch]

Hi... she's NOT communicating with you .. she should have explained she was angry and you both should have worked through it. Constant arguing is not good.... perhaps you are not compatible. WHY did you want to make her sweat ????

HOW old are you both ??? You both sound quite childish and playing games with each other.......... NO WAY to carry on a relationship ! THIS does NOT bode well for a marriage if you both cannot work through petty arguments now !

GOOGLE HOW TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY !

[searock]

WTF... you didn't message her straight away because you "wanted her to sweat a bit"? Then you wonder why she's angry at you, and instead of asking her about it like a normal person, you randomly decide to sleep in the spare bed?!? You play stupid games as if you were 12. No wonder she wants to break up with you. Jeezus. Learn how to communicate like an adult.

[TheEvilJester]

Well, though I perhaps would not deliver the message quite the same way my colleagues have above, I do have to agree with some of what they have said. Why exactly did you feel the need to "make her sweat?" Not sure I understand why you wouldn't just send her a quick text, or something like that to say "Hey, that was really nice! Thank you so much!" I mean, I get that you kind of wanted to surprise her later, but it wouldn't have been any less surprising had you aknowledged her gift in the first place.

I also do agree that you should have at least talked to her before simply deciding to use the spare bed. Better to at least try to make up and hope it works. As the saying goes, never go to bed angry. All that said, I am sure you did not mean to upset her in anything you did. Consider this a couple lessons learned the hard way, and hopefully you will know better for the future.

I will say that, unless you have a habbit of not seeming very appreciative of gifts, I think her getting as upset as she did was perhaps a bit overkill. Still, I can certainly understand that from her perspective. Even though it wasn't your intention, you made her feel unappreciated. Again, unless it is something that has been a constant problem, I cannot see it being a make or break on the relationship. Just learn from this and hopefully everything will be okay.

[HeartIsAching]

My mind is clouded so I wanted some thoughts on my dilemma...

My fiancé sent me a bunch of balloons to work yesterday and whilst I was so embarrassed it was a lovely thought. Anyway I didn't message her after receiving the gift, partly because I wanted her to sweat a bit and also because I was seeing her later and wanted to get her a bunch of flowers as my own gift to her.
Anyway few hours later she asked me if I got the balloons and I said I had, but she felt as if I didn't appreciate them because I didn't message her straight away and she was fuming angry with me (which I can understand) I still drove to see her and took her to dinner. She was cold and not very engaging but I tried to explain and make her feel better.

Anyway back home I felt as though she was still annoyed with me and rather then upset her further I decided to sleep in the spare bed. also for the fact I didn't want to jump in bed with her and be rejected. Anyway this has added fuel to the fire and now she is even more angry. Apparently she was ok before bedtime and I shouldn't have slept in the spare bed.

She tells me she doesn't know if she wants me anymore. we've had arguments like this for a few weeks now.

am I just a stupid guy who messes things up? and doesn't understand women?

Yes... yes you are.

"Wanting her to sweat a bit" is game-playing, and game-playing is beyond stupid in a relationship.

Furthermore, not sleeping in the same bed with her so as not to "upset her further" is horse-hockey. You chose not to in order to for your own comfort. Next time be a man and face the possibility of rejection. If she really loves you, she won't reject your presence.

Quit playing games and be real with your lady.

'nuff said.

- - - Updated - - -

My mind is clouded so I wanted some thoughts on my dilemma...

My fiancé sent me a bunch of balloons to work yesterday and whilst I was so embarrassed it was a lovely thought. Anyway I didn't message her after receiving the gift, partly because I wanted her to sweat a bit and also because I was seeing her later and wanted to get her a bunch of flowers as my own gift to her.
Anyway few hours later she asked me if I got the balloons and I said I had, but she felt as if I didn't appreciate them because I didn't message her straight away and she was fuming angry with me (which I can understand) I still drove to see her and took her to dinner. She was cold and not very engaging but I tried to explain and make her feel better.

Anyway back home I felt as though she was still annoyed with me and rather then upset her further I decided to sleep in the spare bed. also for the fact I didn't want to jump in bed with her and be rejected. Anyway this has added fuel to the fire and now she is even more angry. Apparently she was ok before bedtime and I shouldn't have slept in the spare bed.

She tells me she doesn't know if she wants me anymore. we've had arguments like this for a few weeks now.

am I just a stupid guy who messes things up? and doesn't understand women?

Yes... yes you are.

"Wanting her to sweat a bit" is game-playing, and game-playing is beyond stupid in a relationship.

Furthermore, not sleeping in the same bed with her so as not to "upset her further" is horse-hockey. You chose not to for your own comfort. Next time be a man and face the possibility of rejection. If she really loves you, she won't reject your presence.

Quit playing games and be real with your lady.

'nuff said.

[surfhb]

You were a douche bag.....own it and apologize quickly.

[Wakeup]

She tells me she doesn't know if she wants me anymore.

I hope she makes a solid decision on that.