I Made A Huge Mistake

[Cracked Mask94]

A few days ago, I made a huge mistake that will probably ruin my relationship with my fiancée. If she finds out about it, and that mistake was that I slept with one of her friends. Since then I have been feeling really guilty about what I have done and I've been thinking about just coming clean and telling her that I've cheated on her with one of her friends. But at the same time I've been that maybe it would be better not to tell her that about it because of how much it would hurt her. So I came here to get some advice on what would be the better thing to do.

[edwardsla]

Hell no she wont like it but from a girls perspective shed rather know from you than her friend cuz you mean more to her....but that might cost you your relationship

[pollydancer]

did her friend try to get you in bed or did you? who started it?
my boyfriend's friend touched my breasts in the swimming pool and i never told.

[michelle23]

You did the crime so do the time. Come clean now. You cant start a marriage on a lie and there is no excuse for what you have done

[smiling100]

Do you think you will regret breaking up if you tell her or is it for the best?

From my experience being to honest can backfire big time. You really need to take your time & think about the consequences before making a decision to tell her or not.

I made the biggest mistake in my life from being to honest & I know I'll never get her back because of it.

[dem862]

If you do it once and get away with it, you'll learn there are no consequences. You are more likely to do it again. Your girl will sense your lack of commitment and trust issues. You may also become distrustful and jealous with her because you know how easy it is to cheat and lie. I think you owe it to her to tell her and face the music. She should know the real you, or her love won't be deserved.

[searock]

I made the biggest mistake in my life from being to honest & I know I'll never get her back because of it.

So much wrong. The mistake was the thing you did that you had to be honest about. Being honest is never a mistake.

OP, you should tell her. I don't think the relationship will survive, and it don't think that it should.

[michelle23]

Ill just add: you should have thought about the consequences before sleeping with the friend. Why did you do it? And why were you alone with another woman in the first place? You have broken some serious boundaries here and its time to face the music. The only thing worse than cheating is living a lie and pretending your mr perfect. Its her choice whether to try and forgive you or not, you cant make that choice for her

[smiling100]

So much wrong. The mistake was the thing you did that you had to be honest about. Being honest is never a mistake.

OP, you should tell her. I don't think the relationship will survive, and it don't think that it should.

My mistake was telling her I was not over my ex. I should of said lets take it slowwww as I knew she was what I wanted. Being to honest was like shooting myself in the foot.

If my reward from being honest was sleepless nights & anti depressants & suicidal thoughts. I'll never be that honest again.

- - - Updated - - -

So much wrong. The mistake was the thing you did that you had to be honest about. Being honest is never a mistake.

OP, you should tell her. I don't think the relationship will survive, and it don't think that it should.

My mistake was telling her I was not over my ex. I should of said lets take it slowwww as I knew she was what I wanted. Being to honest was like shooting myself in the foot.

If my reward from being honest was sleepless nights, anti depressants & suicidal thoughts. I'll never be that honest again.

All I learned from this is I need to consider my feelings before theirs & be more selfish. Nice guys come last as they are no challenge.

[searock]

My mistake was telling her I was not over my ex. I should of said lets take it slowwww as I knew she was what I wanted. Being to honest was like shooting myself in the foot.

If my reward from being honest was sleepless nights & anti depressants & suicidal thoughts. I'll never be that honest again.

Sorry to break it to you, but if you became depressed and had suicidal thoughts just because a woman refused to keep dating you after discovering that you still had feelings for your ex, you had (and apparently still have, since you are still so bitter about this) issues that went way beyond the situation at hand. You were honest and she chose to stop dating you, you need to accept it. Had you lied, it would have very likely ended the same way... she would have sensed that you weren't 100% committed to the relationship. Also, I'm pretty sure that if things hadn't gone the way they have, you would still be miserable for some reason.

- - - Updated - - -

All I learned from this is I need to consider my feelings before theirs & be more selfish.

Well yes, this is obvious. It has nothing to do with being a nice guy though. Any healthy human being should first and foremost make themselves happy. Otherwise it's just dysfunctional.

[urbandecay]

Ultimately it's your decision. However it will be better for her to hear it from yourself rather than through the grape vine.

It won't be easy and is a potential relationship killer. But it's better than being deceitful.

Good luck x

[chinagirl]

did her friend try to get you in bed or did you? who started it?
my boyfriend's friend touched my breasts in the swimming pool and i never told.

You're sick!!!

[smiling100]

Also, I'm pretty sure that if things hadn't gone the way they have, you would still be miserable for some reason.

Nasty! Women can be so cutting when they choose. Mental abuse is a lot more damaging than physical abuse. The scars of physical abuse go away how ever mental abuse lingers. The bizarre thing is it's not illegal to mentally abuse someone?

If I was already miserable there is no way I would of got her attention. My vibe would of not been a good one (like it is now). I could not be bothered dating. I've had a few dates & one of them even said I seem depressed! She was correct.

I was once a happy/confident guy before & when I met her & that's what attracted her to me. I wish I could say the same for the present.

[searock]

You are delusional.

[smiling100]

You are delusional.

I've gone from a fit n health happy guy to clinically depressed since I met her.

Cross you fingers you don't get diagnosed with clinical depression. It does not discriminate. It can happen to anyone. It's another level of sadness that you can not snap out of. I would not wish it on my worse enemy.

I use to regard myself as a decent respectable & morally honest person. Use to love waking up in the morning.