I made a big huge mistake

[Stacy1988]

Hi everyone, im new to the page. Please can i have some advice, i have made a huge mistake. I have been
In a relationship for coming upto seven years and i absolutely love my partner to bits. About a year and a
half ago i started a new job & me & my partner were going through a rough patch at the time & i started
talking to one of the boys in work and he seemed overly nice to me & sayin nice things to me and being
really sweet to me & it made me feel cheered up for awhile (im on anti-depressants) i think i liked havin a good friendship He knew i thought he was a nice boy (nice to get on with) & then one day in work he gave me a kiss on the cheek & said he liked me alot. We kissed once but it wasnt like a proper kiss, as my head kept makin me think of my partner & it just felt all wrong. My head was confused as i was going through a rough patch with my partner but i knew no matter what that deep down i really did love my partner. This boy in work picked me up once to go to the cinemas & another time for a drive in the car but nothing happened. He tried but i refused him as it didnt feel right at all and i cudnt stop thinking of my partner & he asked me to go to a hotel for the night with him which i declined. I couldnt ever live with the guilt of doing that to my partner & i never ever would. I have never done this sort of thing before and would never do it again but everything else the boy in work offered to me i refused. He told me he'd leave his girlfriend for me too but i wouldnt do nothing with him or go out anymore with him. I think he got abit fed uP with me in the end because he couldnt get nothing from me. My partner found my diary and read it and was very upset & we have split up but i love him so much. I hate myself and i cant believe how stupid ive been. I do love my partner very much but i think ive lost him for good. Id do anything to get him back but can someone help me out abit please?
I really appreciate any comments
Thanks

[haxan]

People take these things differently. Some partners will understand there were problems and work on fixing them. Some will feel permanently betrayed and it is irreversible damage.

You can only tell him what you've told us. You can't make him take the bad medicine in any particular way. If it ended the relationship you can only blame yourself, but at least be honest with him about your feelings and see what happens.

[Stacy1988]

Ok thanks for the advice. If anyone else got more advice id really appreiciate it.
Thanks

[vashti]

I suggest you throw away your diary.

[Stacy1988]

Lol thanks for that advice. Anyone else got more advice?

I forgot to add to my comment that this all
happened a year and a half ago & only yesterday my partner found my diary. I didnt tell him as i loved him so much & i was really happy with him. I didnt give a toss about the boy in work with me so i didnt want todrag it up & lose him. I realise i only got myself to blame but i was happy with my
partner up until now when he read my diary. I dont care about the boy in work,i actually dont like him to talk to anymore & i have been 100% faithful to my partner afterwards and i havent done nothing except love my partner. I am tryin to get a transfer from my workplace to somewhere else to show him i love him & want him back. Does anyone think its possible he'll forgive me?

[zaccarus]

May sounds harsh but you've broken his trust and it'll be nigh on impossible for him to get it back. Most of us can deal with the actual acts of infidelity (no matter how small) but struggle with the deception. Do what Haxan suggests and tell him what you're feeling but be prepared as you may have lost him for good.

[haxan]

I'd shitcan someone for what you did, no questions asked. Hope it works out for you, but it depends on his makeup, his self confidence and his options.