My breakup and how im coping with it

[dillymanilli]

I just want to say that im happy i visited this website before i did something really stupid after my break up. My girlfriend and I broke up 1 month ago after being together for close to two years. It was a heated argument which resulted in me calling it off. She agreed to the break up and asked me to move out so i did. For the first week after breakup we hung out like usual but the spark was gone and I was only getting more upset because i wanted things to return to normal but i knew if i stuck around i was only causing myself more grieve. I went one week no contact only to break down and write her a poem hoping it would bring her back but it didnt work. Only then did i realize i needed a plan if im ever going to get her back. You see, even though it was a mutual breakup, it was me who was suffering with the idea of never getting her back. She had seemed to have moved on, bettering herself so she can come out on top. Thats when i knew i need i needed to do the same. I started going to the gym. I stopped drinking. I joined a softball team. I started doing things i enjoyed doing. Its been three weeks since i last spoke to my ex and as time goes on i slowly realize that no contact is not a fool proof way to get your ex back. Its to get your mind and life back on track. My philosophy is if you go out in search of your ex you're gonna get hurt. That means facebooking or asking her friends or parents. Concentrate on yourself. Only when you feel comfortable about talking to her again will you be able to get her back. I know im not ready to talk to her but my feelings for her are changing. Im slowly moving towards the idea of not wanting her back for my own self being. I just wanted to share my thoughts about my breakup hoping it will help someone else.

[nautire]

Thanks for that. You have made a very good point and that is what my sister said to me when the guy I have fallen for (from a dating site) kept dissappearing. She said: well, all the time you've been bettering yourself for the meetings with him, the new clothes, new shoes... (I hardly ever buy anything for myself even when I really need it, I hate shopping); you've just had a date with yourself! What a great way of looking after oneself ;-D