do i trust my girlfriend?

[vachss]

I'm getting quite serious about my girlfriend and may be looking to take things to the next stage and live together. This weekend she casually admitted meeting with her last ex (6 years together). I admit I don't like the idea but leaving that aside it really upset me that she didn't mention this meeting. I'm not suggesting that she ask my permission or anything like that but I think she should have said something, particularly when I always let her know in advance if I have to meet my ex-wife or other female friend. her actions lead me to believe that she doesn't respect me or our relationship. I don't know if I trust her as completely as I did before, What would you advise?

[chinagirl]

Let her know that you're upset of what happened and that she should not do it again or at least let you know if she's planning to meet her ex again... then take it from there. No reason to let this boil inside you. In every relationship, communication is the key.

[smackie9]

Obviously you would have issues with this if she told you or not. I suspect she was avoiding a bad confrontation from you. I'm not saying your feelings are not justified, it's just you should be looking at this as a symptom of an issue of trust in your relationship. Just calmly discuss this matter with her and ask her why she felt she couldn't mention it to you. Was she afraid it would upset you? are you a jealous person? was she avoiding something? what was it? After that go over expectations and relationship bounaries. These should be discussed and clarified before you two move in together so there isn't any issues about things down the road. living together is a whole new ball game, and it is very important you both are on the same page.

[TheEvilJester]

I think smackie put it very well, so I don't have a lot more to add. Yes, I would agree you have every right to be upset. But, if this is the first time she has ever done something like this, I wouldn't let it turn into a make or break thing yet. As smackie suggests, just have a calm and cordial discussion with her about it, and also set some boundaries as to what you both can agree is acceptable in your relationship. As long as she can understand and respect your feelings and also stick to the boundaries upon which you both agree, no reason to let this ruin what could otherwise be a great relationship. Good luck. I hope it works out for you.