Love / need advice?

[lexjav]

back in 2012, when I was 21, i moved from Ca to Ny to go to school. I met my friend's (from nursing school) son (he was then 18 years old). I had a crush on him but I never pursued bc of the age difference and I was still focused on school and I couldn't get out as much anyway (strict family). then Nov 2013, we hooked up bc he saw me through a social media network. and I confessed my feelings and he said he had feelings to but never got the courage. my family doesn't trust me bc i hid a relationship before (2011-2012) bc they're so strict but it was a mistake bc my ex never felt the same abt me in the end. I thought after almost 3 yrs, it would be better so i tried to introduce this guy i had feelings for and they wouldn't budge so i ended up hiding US (stupid i know, but it sounded promising). i told him abt my family issues with me, the fact that i may be going back to Cali(I want to live in SF), and he said nothing will make him stay away and even if i did move he wouldn't let me go he even proposed. It felt like this is finally what ive been looking for. Ive never felt that way before. I love him. now, it's time for me to graduate from RN school. when i was studying for my finals (two weeks ago) he decided to end things with me bc he realized he might not emotionally handle the distance and he doesn't want to hurt me, he says he loves me and wants me to move in with his family (but my fam doesn't even know our relationship exists, so it's complicated) n i miss my fam too.

he says he thought he could make me stay. even tho i asked him many times if he still wanted to continue despite the possibility of me going back and he kept saying yes. what hurts is i got led on by hope. I really wanted to end up with him. I know it sounds typical. he said if we continued with the distance it would be harder and it would hurt more, i guess that's true too. we talked about everything again in person and logically (tried to) talk abt it. it's just not as easy to just move in

I have family too. I feel like I cant just up and leave my family to move in with his family. the fact that my family doesn't know our relationship exists is complicated enough (his family knows me, I used to always hang out with his mom after school). I don't want to hurt anymore. I feel okay sometimes bc I was upfront abt everything yet he still continued to be with me. so it's not like he didn't know, you know? :'( sigh...

I know it's pathetic to post it here but no one in my family knows so i cant talk to them. and my friends have told me the same things over and over. "if it's meant to be, it'll happen" etc etc etc. I have to play a part where i haven't fallen in love with someone else bc that's what my family thinks. Life is just suck-ish right now and im here venting my crap. thank you for those who answer sincerely. I am grateful though bc im where i want to be in my academic career.

it hurts now bc i am facing reality that most likely i am going back and going to be further away from him.

[michelle23]

Dont do long distance. Either find a way to be together properly or break up. Long distance is full of jealousy, trust issues, cheating, lies etc.. its never worth it. Dont go there