My bf threw a fit and pushed me twice, do I leave?

[TunicQueenie]

I need some insights on this. I've been thinking about leaving ever since yesterday's argument. I admit this has been a somewhat unstable relationship for quite a while but I thought things would worked out and one day he would open up more.

Yesterday's argument: I was inviting a male cousin, a couple of female best friends and college guy friend Justin he knows well. I have nothing to hide but he got somewhat drunk and started throwing a tantrum, acting jealous again and then goes overboarding saying how I'm probably flirting with Justin or other male co-workers. I had it at this point and started arguing back. I replied back telling him about more flaws he had. Suddenly he then wants to leave and said how he'll talk about it later. I will admit this got me upset because it's rude to be left with words in your mouth esp if you started an argument; that's like basically telling someone to shut even when you made that scene yourself.

I blocked the exit door and lightly grabbed his arm and said no we need to talk, how he wasn't just going to leave me like that. Thing is he wouldn't reply for the longest and then he said loudly no we don't get out. I guess a couple mintues went by and then he just pushed me (not hard but it was still a shove; first time he ever put his hands on me).

Ok I guess this was my mistake afterward. I was still upset about all this. I followed him outside and simply said how he was going to get away with treating me like that and that this was to be solved, how I hated getting ignored like that and it was rude to push me (I started raising my voice at this point). As I was trying to get in the car with him, he pushed me again and slightly harder. I nearly tripped and he drives off like that.

[basilandthyme]

It sounds to me like you both have issues.

His jealousy and accusations would be unacceptable to me. That being said, your actions clearly exacerbated the situation. Both of you are total drama queens

It is not rude to walk away from an argument if it's getting out of hand. On the contrary, him trying to walk away was the only sensible action in this whole debacle. From your description, it sounds like he pushed you because you were blocking his exit and physically trying to prevent him from leaving. If this is the case, I don't see anything wrong with pushing you out of his way.

If this jealous behaviour is normal for him, it's time to end it. But you also need to grow up and quit with the drama

[CrasherRob8]

First mistake, he can't tolerate his alcohol if he gets that way when he is drunk. Second mistake, you starting to argue back. Never argue with an angry, jealous drunk. You'll never win. Not only did you argue, you started insulting him by telling him of all of his flaws. Your only motivation for that was to hurt him.

Like basil said, he then did the only sensible thing in the entire situation which was walk away and say we will talk later. You, of course, were emotionally charged and angry and had to keep going.

I am one that absolutely does not condone any physical violence, even pushing. Even though here technically it is justified, I think you two either need to go to counseling together or break up.

[michelle23]

Did he hurt you?? It sounds like he just moved you out of his way. Dont blow it up out of proportion and call him an abuser if he didnt actually hurt you or mean to.

I think you are creating his jealousy by having close male friends. You are the problem. However his drunken behavior was unacceptable and shouldnt be tolerated either..

Either ditch the friend who is causing all these issues in your relationship (which should be more important) or break up. How would you feel if he had a close female friend??

[smackie9]

This was going to happen eventually. Boundaries have to change with male friends when in a relationship. Stop texting them at all hours, stop hanging out with them alone, don't talk about your relationship with them, or personal problems and limit your attention to them.

Your BF is the new male in your life, respectfully he should be the only male you are emotionally close to.

[Wakeup]

I admit this has been a somewhat unstable relationship for quite a while

He'd be better off without you so yea... break up with him already. You're definitely not meant to be life partners by any stretch of the imagination and if you think you'd make a good couple and eventually steady, calm parents to your off-spring.. well, no.

Re-read smackie's post so that you don't bring this same kind of bs into your next relationship.

Btw: You starting telling him all the flaws he had? Why would you think that would be a good time (in the middle of an argument that had nothing to do with "his flaws") to do that?

[HeartIsAching]

So... you tried to physically prevent him from leaving, and got upset when he used fairly minimal force to remove your interference?

Idiot.

[TunicQueenie]

Forgot to mention but one time as I was coming out of the shower, I caught him quickly putting down my cell phone (I saw my cell phone was under contact list option). This off course offended and hurt me so much. I haven't given him any reason to distrust me. I'm a friendly and outgoing woman by nature. I have both female and guy friends but I don't cheat and never hide anyone from my bf.

No, I wouldn't make a scene if he had a female friend I had already been introduced to. Actually I've been introduced to 2 female co-workers but it seems that if I have even 1 guy friend, he's already jealous. The reason I started telling him his flaws is because he was being unfair and like I stated, I didn't start this argument. I wanted to have a good time and he ruined it.

michelle23, no he didn't hurt me. I agree I should have just let me walk away but I was too upset at that moment too. I guess I painted him in a bad way. Didn't intend to.

[smackie9]

If he is checking your phone and wigging out on ya about things, this relationship is already over.