How to get rid of feelings for a friend.

[Sonnie]

Like the tittle said, How to get rid of feelings for a friend.

I have known this woman for almost a half year now, the last 2 or 3 months we get around alot. (Almost daily) Though we 're just friends. Then recently I created major feelings for her, and it's obvious for me art the moment she doesn't have the same feelings. I didn't ask but I can tell at her body language and her caracter that she's not intrested in a 'closer' relationship.

If or when I will tell her about my feelings, I will break a wonderful friendship, (what I actually never witnessed with a woman) This friendship is MUCH worth for me.

Two other things, she's about to move to another city and she's recently chatting with a guy from America. She wants to go to to him and he will pay the tickets. (She's Dutch, and so am I) She has a good click with this guy I heared, even though they are chatting for still only 3 weeks.

Like I said, telling about 'my' feelings will destroy our friendship, and it's sure not the right time. I really wish I knew her earlier, so we had much more time to become 'closer' friends.

I know it's better to leave it all alone and stop the contact, but that's not me, I helped her out alot and we hang out pretty much together. She sees me as a precious friend, I can't just leave that. I said to myself that if we just could be 'good' friends that would be awesome aswell, now only to get rid of these 'feelings,'cause it's killing me hard time!

Any tips or advice?

[searock]

It's not friendship if you have feelings for her. I think you should tell her that you see her as more than just a friend and that you would love to go on an actual date with her. If she rejects you and doesn't feel the same way, tell her that it's best if you don't see each other anymore, since it would only hurt you more. You need to go no contact in order to move on effectively and be happy again.

Next time, don't "make friends" with someone you are attracted to. Only make friends with people that you are NOT attracted to (and who are not attracted to you).

[Sonnie]

I guess you're right, though it's so hard, I can't just leave her be like that. But I have to. I heared about the no contact, I tried that with my ex and with succes. But with this woman, ugh! It's gonna be a tough on for me, I think I never felt for a woman like this. Ugh!!

[imalivex3]

You should just tell her how you feel. It's true it could ruin your friendship but it could also be the start of an amazing relationship!! Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

[smackie9]

You are right it's not a good time to tell her. She is in the middle of a LDR with someone, and her feelings are with him, that is why she hasn't shown any interest. If she is ready to hop on a plane to see him, it's pretty serious. I suspect she has been chatting with this guy longer than 3 weeks. I also suspect she already knows you have romantic feelings for her, but she is avoiding it or is acting oblivious. Women can usually pick up on things like that.

When she moves to another city, that will give you some distance between each other and you can start the process of letting go of those feelings without sacrificing your friendship. If things get real serious with this guy, she will slowly shift her attention to him and she will become less dependent on your attention.