trust and other things

[Phil86]

Hi everyone,

my name is Phil and im 28 years old, my girlfriend is 18... i know its quite a gap and most likely the reason why i have to get help from outside to manage my current situation.
Well my Girlfriend is the super heavy jealous kind wich is fine to me in general but she wont never talk about whats really bothering her until its too late and her moods are cooking over...still i can manage that from time to time.... she also has checked my phone just a few days ago and found some messages from before we both have met and she freaked out about it...i just simply forgot about those messages or else i wouldve deleted them... . One thing right away, i never cheated on here in ANY way okay never did never would. Well weve been together for almost 6 months now and i think this is a critical phase right now.

Her jealousy is just sky rocketing currently and allthough she checked my phone, facebook and everything she still doesnt trust me completley eventhough i really do everything to make her comfortable and give her security, i help her in the daily works, do romantic stuff, surprise her and so on in general everything i learned a woman appreciates.

A few days after she checked my phone she went to visit her cousin for a couple of days (shes still there), and in the beginning she didnt want to go because she felt we wouldnt see each other enough this month, i told her to go because it would do her good to get out and get a clear head and so she went.

The first question is how far can I trust HER ?? with this situation upcoming she btw said she wanted a break yesterday because it stresses her out to think about this stuff right now, wtf ?!

and the second question is ladies please tell me what in gods name can i do to make her trust me to give her the security she needs i dunno maybe one of you girls has similar trust issues... .

Greetings Phil

[basilandthyme]

Sorry Phil, if I were in your shoes, this would be a dealbreaker for me. And no, there's nothing you can do to make her trust you because you're not the one causing the problems.

Time to move on.

[searock]

You are an adult and she is a kid. Stop being a creep, date someone closer to your age and let her free to be a kid.

[chinagirl]

Nothing you can do. She's young and immature and basically just a teenager. You want mature and understanding girl, date someone closer to your age.

You want a teenager, then deal with her unreasonable jealousy and temper tantrums.

And sea rock is right... That's creepy... She's only a year older than my daughter who's on junior high school!

[Phil86]

Well thanks for pointing that out, im pretty aware of the fact that im 10 years older but its not like im standing on highschool yards to pick up little girls i met her in a pretty casual manner at a friends party and we just started to hang out everyday and so one thing came to another. I didnt ask about your peoples opinion on wether or not our relationship is socially acceptable, i asked for advice to get along with my current situation but yeah thanks. at least one of 3 persons sticked to the topic.

[searock]

Thing is, the cause of your problem is precisely the fact that she is still a kid. With a mature and experienced woman closer to your age this wouldn't be an issue. The solution to your problem is to stop dating teenagers and start dating adults.

[Phil86]

See i have never been with a girl of that Age before thats why im not sure how to handle it, generally all im asking (and sorry i shouldve put that a little clearer) is, is that a normal behaviour for a girl her age ?? or is this already a little...yea well crazy?!

[searock]

Think back to when you were 18. It should help.

I know you don't want to hear this, but you are hurting this kid by being in a relationship with her. She doesn't know this now, but she will when she's older. She needs to be with guys her own age.

[Phil86]

well i guess teenage girls differ from teenage boys

[searock]

And you get that by noticing that you weren't like her? That's one hell of an assumption.

[Phil86]

No thats not what i said, i just didnt have any relationships when i was 18 so its hard for me to put that in hindsight

[searock]

Ok, anyway what I meant to say is that the level of maturity at that age is very low compared to that of most 25+ year olds.

[chinagirl]

I have a 17 year old girl and yeah they are very immature moody and have temper tantrums and highly sensitive. Anything else you want to know about teenagers????

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You want to deal with immaturity go ahead and date her! And the other poster is right, you're not giving her the opportunity to grow and be with someone her age and experience life as a teenage girl should.

So do yourself and her a favor , let her go...

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By all means, you can date anyone 10 years younger than you but at least wait till the girl turns 21 or 22 for crying out loud.

[Phil86]

It just happened its not like i drugged her for gods sake, why do i need to defend myself here ? SHe had older boyfriends before me and she generally hangs out with older people, and for most of what i think im a pretty decent guy i treat her good, i show her what shes worth to me every single day, i have a Job, i keep myself in shape and i support her in every way. Her Parents like me and also said that im by far her best boyfriend up to now. I dont know whats going on in your head when you think of this. YOu know theres a emotional basis to this too, not only a sexual.

[basilandthyme]

My my, the morals police are out in force today. For what it's worth I had a great fling of that age difference when I was 17 and don't regret it at all.

Phil, I don't think it's necessarily an age thing. Yes, some teenage girls are moody and immature while others aren't. It's also true that there are older women who are nutty. Being crazy and jealous certainly isn't something restricted to teenage girls.

For this reason I didn't mention anything about age. I just think you need to take heed of the warning signs and get yourself out of there.