Cheating Bf

[Sami09]

How have anyone dealt with a bf that cheated. He just told me tonite he did with a person he worked with it was a one nite stand. I am hurting a lot. But at the same time i so want to be with him. i love him so much and i know he loves me. We dated for 2 and a half yrs almost and i dont want are relationship to be over he means the world to me.

[shh!]

Sorry, sweetie, but if he's done it once, he is probably going to do it again. If you are okay with that, then go ahead and forgive him. If you are not okay with that, ignore your pain and kick him to the curb. You will get over him given enough time, but it will definitely hurt for a while.

[Tone]

If he cheats, and he knows you know about it, and you let him know you still want to "be with him so bad" he'll know he can do it again and you'll ALWAYS be there.

Get some sense.

[Ellynn]

Yeah .....unforunately what the other guys said is true. If he does this once.....chances are he may do it again... And how could you trust him not to? I know once my ex cheated it was over.....and I did try to forgive him and everything....but the relationship was never the same afterwards and I ended up breaking up with him a bit later.

Yes no matter what its gonna hurt.....but it will hurt you more in the long run if you waste your time and stick with him and keep wondering what hes up to. It will literally drive you crazy....trust me....I know .....ive been there. And it will hurt even more when it keeps happening again and again....

Honestly its your choice what you do....but you also have to realize what he did was not right...and that you did not deserve it. No one does....and you can find better.

[aloha22]

I was in the same boat as you. The guy I dated all through high school cheated on me 2 times (that I know of, and possibly more). Plus, he just treated me like crap all around.

But I was in love with him, and we were going to get married and have two kids and a white picket fence.... blah.

I wasted a lot of my life on him, but the thing was that he knew he could always come back to me since I loved him. I had no back bone and couldn't stand up for myself. It took a long time to realize that he wasn't worth the tears, and that I deserved someone better than a looser. I wish I could have figured it out sooner, but at least I got it all straightened out eventually. And I'm much better off now, anyways.

[Chlorine]

sami09----dump him.

[MajorGlory]

Hey my lady, sorry to say ive to agree with ppl above.. cheating blows away trust once for all. theres no remedy when trust is gone. listen darlin.. is it a boy who cheated on you the one you want by your side?
you dont deserve it my lady. hug

[Sami09]

thanks everyone for your input. I dont think he will make that mistake again. He was feel really bad and guilty. We dated for almost 2 and a half yrs i really got to believe he wont ever do that again because i still know he loves me and though they all i totally love him. I was just askin what everyone though i am going to try to make it work i totaly want to be with him. I know most of you think i am stupid if its just happened that ones and never happens again i may be able to forget and move on with my man

Hey my lady, sorry to say ive to agree with ppl above.. cheating blows away trust once for all. theres no remedy when trust is gone. listen darlin.. is it a boy who cheated on you the one you want by your side?
you dont deserve it my lady. hug

[Tone]

thanks everyone for your input. I dont think he will make that mistake again. He was feel really bad and guilty. We dated for almost 2 and a half yrs i really got to believe he wont ever do that again because i still know he loves me and though they all i totally love him. I was just askin what everyone though i am going to try to make it work i totaly want to be with him. I know most of you think i am stupid if its just happened that ones and never happens again i may be able to forget and move on with my man

[shh!]

I agree with Tone. Very sad.

[Lloyd95]

Ok, I agree with everyone else who posted, but let's play Deivl's advocate, ok? K.

He cheated, admitted it was a one nite stand. He is sorry and you two have a past. He was upfront and honest, it's not like you caught him in a lie.

Are people entitled to make mistakes? I say yes. Remember, he was upfront.

The other option would be a guy having an affair, hiding it, spending his money on her as well as some part of his heart. This would be worse IMO.

[shh!]

Well, that IS another way to look at it, and if they were married, I would probably agree. Since they are not, I don't see a good reason for trying to justify his behavior. Right now, all she will lose is her time investment if she calls it off, but if she were married, things would be more complicated.

How old are you, Sami? I am thinking you are pretty young, right?

[Ellynn]

I know how your feeling. Even though you are hurt....you don't want things to end. You don't want to start all over w/ someone else. I know because I felt that way after finding out my ex cheated. I gave him a chance after that and figured he was only human. But what I found out is that I ended up being unhappy. Maybe you can forgive him.....but for me it was hard to forgive...let alone forget. But honestly if you have to see for yourself how its gonna be now.....and if your relationship will change.....then you gotta do what you gotta do. We are just preparing you for what could happen.....and trying to make you realize that even though you plan on sticking with him....it might hurt you more in the long run.

It was good he was honest with you. My ex was not....and actually got pissed at me for finding out the truth. He tried to place the blame on me for being the nosy as to find out who this girl was......and what happened. But I thought it was my right. Its all a learning experience I guess.

[Sami09]

I am 21. My man is still a good guy i think he finally got it that he almost lost me and will get his act together. I know for a fact he will never cheat again because of what he said he felt he made a huge mistake and totally wants to make it up to me. I know he loves me and i totally still love him i am really going to try to make it work because we want to be together. thanks everyone for everything for advice and support.

I know how your feeling. Even though you are hurt....you don't want things to end. You don't want to start all over w/ someone else. I know because I felt that way after finding out my ex cheated. I gave him a chance after that and figured he was only human. But what I found out is that I ended up being unhappy. Maybe you can forgive him.....but for me it was hard to forgive...let alone forget. But honestly if you have to see for yourself how its gonna be now.....and if your relationship will change.....then you gotta do what you gotta do. We are just preparing you for what could happen.....and trying to make you realize that even though you plan on sticking with him....it might hurt you more in the long run.

It was good he was honest with you. My ex was not....and actually got pissed at me for finding out the truth. He tried to place the blame on me for being the nosy as to find out who this girl was......and what happened. But I thought it was my right. Its all a learning experience I guess.

[carpflounder]

I guarantee you he will cheat on you again. I have cheated in all of my relationships..so take it from me. You are asking the gals for advice on how to deal with a cheating bf. DUMP HIM NOW!

Cheating works very much like a drug addiction. First it just started off with one girl. Just kissing. Then one girl hooking up. Then two girls one just kissing and one hooking up. Then two hooking up. Then etc...etc..etc. Once it got really out of control my logic became: "Well I dont care if gf finds out because one of two things will happen:
1. She will get over it.
2. She will not get over it.

Trust me, regardless of how sincere he may seem: he is playing you.