stuck in love

[jaquiz]

Hello, so I have known this girl for 2 years, it started out in class and we have become the closest friends since then. When I met her, she had just began a relationship with someone and that ended several months ago. I started having feelings for her pretty much right after I met her and got to know her, realizing that we have almost everything in common and have always thought we would be a perfect match. Anyway, she told me (when she was in a relationship) that he was her best friend before they started dating, so I thought that might happen between us. Instead, she found out my feelings for her by a friend and pretty much friend zoned me. But we still act normal and went to a baseball game together and we just went to the park today. Unfortunately, she started dating a guy who she had never met until he started texting her and initially she wasn't interested, but started dating him behind my back because she knew it would hurt my feelings.

She always tells me how she only acts herself around me and that I'm am the best person she knows and I make her laugh. If we started dating, nothing in our current relationship would change except for physical stuff.

We are going to the same college and I can't get over this girl because we are so close and her dating her best friend before keeps me optimistic.

What should I do and how?
-heartbroken, lovesick Jaquiz

[TheEvilJester]

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if she made it clear that she only wants to be friends, then that probably is not going to change. Furthermore, she currently has a boyfriend, and it would not be right to mess with that. If that relationship ends on its own, that is one thing, but you should never try to mess with somebody's relationship.

If the relationship did happen to end, I would say you should consider talking to her about it after some time has passed, but in this situation you say she's already made it clear she just thinks of you as a friend. So, again, that is unlikely to change. Not saying it 100% never happens, but it just isn't very likely.

That being said, if remaining her close friend only makes it hard for you to move on and forget your feelings for her, then it is in your own best interest to distance yourself. You don't want to get yourself too hung up on somebody who is unavailable to you for any reason, be it that they are in a relationship, be it that the think of you only as a friend, and whatever the reason. You are keeping yourself from possibly finding somebody else you will like just as much who will also want to be with you.

If you can see remaining her good friend and you will still be able to get over your crush on her and be just friends (which also means you move on and search for love in other women, not just wait around hoping she changes her mind) then I'd say go ahead and stay friends. But, it doesn't sound like that is the case with you. It sounds like you want to be more than friends even though it doesn't seem an option, and it sounds like you are struggling to get over that. So, though it may not be what you want to do, it may be best to distance yourself a bit. Good luck, my friend.