6 Month relationship

[lover145]

Hey guys,

Just after a bit of advice. I've been in a 6 month relationship with my girlfriend...and in one week it'll be our 7 months (the longest ever relationship ive been in lol). We are very much in love. We used to text and snapchat each other throughout the day...she used to text me and ask me to call her every night. But recently, it's declined. At first I felt a little insecure that she may be losing interest..we had a few fights but made up..(we have rarely ever fought). we still make an effort to see each other as often as we can. Yesterday she came and visited me at work...so I guess this is a good sign? Does anyone have any advice of what the heck to do at the 6 month relationship mark? How do i keep it strong and healthy? Cheers!

[surfhb]

I'm married and my wife and me would be annoyed with each other if we constantly were in contact throughout the day. You need to relax and know this butterfly in the stomach feelings only last so long. You enjoy each other's company and you mean enough to her that she visit you at work. Why do you feel the need to be in constant contact? Isn't her actions enough?

It sounds like it's strong and healthy already...

[MrLoyal]

Yeah Dude! Give her ****ing space. Let her initiate contact with you. You are probably being a bit needy.

[Dexie]

Yeah it sounds like it's all good. Just let it be and go with the flow. Things will happen as they are supposed to.

[Rowen]

I'm married and my wife and me would be annoyed with each other if we constantly were in contact throughout the day. You need to relax and know this butterfly in the stomach feelings only last so long. You enjoy each other's company and you mean enough to her that she visit you at work. Why do you feel the need to be in constant contact? Isn't her actions enough?

It sounds like it's strong and healthy already...

So, my thank you button disappeared again... :S Sorry, surf, I'll catch you next to thank you for this post when it reappears.

But, anyway, OP, surf hit it right on the head. I know a lot of people that would be thrilled if their spouses visited them at work once in a while just to say hello in person.. Hell, I'd love that. So, what's the problem? Fear. And fear, buddy, kills a relationship. As long as you relax and take a breather (not a relationship break but a breather as in to calm yourself down) and just keep going as you are right now, I see no reason why it should weaken...

This is what we call around the forum the "honeymoon period"- where those jitters and butterflies are all there and you're hanging off of one another every moment of every day.. But the honeymoon period ends because, if it would last forever, wouldn't that be a bit shallow for a relationship? This is where things deepen even more, but it's a risky time because you can never tell if it's going to work for sure or not. You may very well go through the post-honeymoon period trying to see if it'll work and completely changing how you feel about her to the point you don't want her anymore. Her feelings may change about you. But the thing to remember is that you can't control anyone or how they feel- only yourself. I know that this paragraph is scary to read with its implications, but if you can't control someone else or how they feel, what bloody good is it to fear the "what if's" then? It's not like you forgot to slip her the love potion after it wears off. It's not like you didn't flick the love switch on her back to "on."

All you can do is control you, and right now, I think that part of controlling yourself is coping with anxiety/fear...
So, here's what I recommend:


EFT is an exercise that some therapists use on patients with anxiety. And it works as long as you concentrate and believe in it. I know that because I've actually tried it, but rather than listen to me explain how it works, the video there explains it fully. Not to mention, if it works for you, there are ways to discreetly do the tapping exercise in public, but that's only if it works for you.

Overall, though, the best advice anyone can give you is to proceed as things are. Let them play out. Don't fear the what if's because even if it does fail, which I don't think it will if she's visiting you at work, mind you, that just means there's someone better meant for you.
Best of luck, OP.
-Will

[so..umhey]

Sounds like u guys are just past the infatuation phase and that's a good thing! If ur feelin bored or if ur feelin like she's bored switch things up and take her out treat her to dinner or plan somethin special for u two to do!

[XyOh]

I agree with what a lot of people have said here already. You haven't been in a long relationship before, so you don't realize that there's a honeymoon period. It sounds like yours is ending. The best way to keep things interesting is to never get too comfortable. Try to keep a little mystery between the two of you. This might mean not contacting each other too much. Make sure that you're keeping up on your appearance and the little things you do for each other. When you start to feel the honeymoon phase where off, people tend to put less effort into their relationships as a result.

[lover145]

Thanks for all ur advice guys. It's much appreciated. I guess I was a bit spoiled throughout the beginning of our relationship. We were always in contact throughout the day. Not being needy..I guess it just feels weird not hearing from her as much during the day anymore. But ur right I guess it wears off. I guess I'm just afraid of losing her. I'm really into her. We had two big fights recently but forgave and forgot. N she came and visited me recently at work for the first time this week. I don't quite understand this honeymoon phase though...what phase am I in now? And what should I do to make this relationship last? I will try that anxiety exercise surf cheers mate. Thnx again everyone

[Rowen]

I don't quite understand this honeymoon phase though...what phase am I in now? And what should I do to make this relationship last? I will try that anxiety exercise surf cheers mate. Thnx again everyone

The honeymoon phase was what you were in before all of this started, mainly because it's the time when couples are all over each other. What you're in now is more of the trial-phase to see if the relationship is going to work. To make the relationship last, just be yourself and treat her how you would like to be treated- with respect. Like we all told you, no sense in worrying about how to improve things if they seem to be going fine already. Just keep going as you are by being yourself and treating her how you'd like to be treated (with respect...I hope). If you do that, I don't see why it shouldn't keep going well.