Saying she has feelings for me, then pushing me away?

[tko_lee]

About 4 months nearly 5) her ex left her, she's been depressed about that but we got along very well, talked daily then a few weeks ago she admitted she had feelings for me but said she had no intentions of a relationship because she isn't ready. Anyways, after admitting she liked me and had feelings for me she's gone really weird.. hardly ever talking to me, no more X's in messages, no more winks.. pretty much feels like she suddenly wants nothing to do with me. I've asked why the sudden change but she tells me she hasn't noticed it.. that's clearly bs.

So, what is she doing? :/

[Yanky]

I don't think she's -not interested-. If she's still paying attention to you, then that's a good sign. Question: do you send her kisses and stuff? You shouldn't be afraid to speak your mind, you don't know what she's thinking. Ask her, tell her how you feel. There's nothing more amazing than two people getting to express how they feel to each other. She's the woman, so try make the first move. Tell her how you feel and that you want her.

Hope that helps.

[rest77]

It's difficult to tell a guy or a girl to their face that you aren't interested in them anymore. So there are some "Games or Signals" you sent to interpret that to them indirectly, but unfortunately only the smart ones normally gets it and move on.

But meanwhile most people just doesn't get it, either because they are in denial or afraid of being alone all over again. Out of fear, they apparently will prefer to stay in that dead relationship that is heading No Where, until their partner will eventually dumped them for a new one.

[tko_lee]

Thanks for the replies. I've tried telling her how I feel, doesn't get me far. When I was away from home for 2 weeks she wanted to talk to me all the time, I come back and it's blank.. although if I don't talk to her for a few days she will always message to ask why I'm so quiet.

I'm not afraid to move on.. I have prettier girls that i've refused just because I like this one girl so much.. Were not together and I still couldn't/wouldn't have sex or kiss another girl it for some reason felt wrong although I know it's not.. and she knows about this. But no, I'm not afraid to move on or be alone because I won't be alone.. it's just annoying me not knowing why she has even done this. She described her ideal guy as me.. so.. :/ bleh ohwell She wants nice teeth, I have nice teeth, She wants someone who takes no drugs, I take no drugs, she want's someone smart, I have A level in maths.. everything she said she wanted.. clearly not.

[smackie9]

My hunch is that her ex is telling her he misses her, so she is getting tugged back.

[tko_lee]

My hunch is that her ex is telling her he misses her, so she is getting tugged back.

He left her for her best friend, they were married. He told her he thought of her best friend during sex..ect..ect..ect, she would be an idiot to get back with him but, apparently she has been seen with him, don't know if it's just sex but still.. even that would be bad enough after what he did.

[Learjet45XR]

Smackie9 is right that is a definite possibility because there are still left overs of her feelings about her ex and that could spark again easily compared to starting with a new one. I don't mean to discourage

[tko_lee]

It seems like she is not ready to start a relationship with you, which is quite normal for a person who just got out from a relationship. If you really like her, don't rush. Keep your cool and be a friend for now. That's what she currently needs.

I'm just worried that will get me friend zoned and that's deffo not where I want to be.

[tko_lee]

Then a good talk will be good. You just have to be ready for what her decision is. Friend zoned is not that bad. You know what's the worst thing is? If she'll get on a relationship with you while she's still not over her ex. You don't want that.

I'm not sure if this is creepy, but she was complaining of back pains, she's been depressed and lost a hell of a lot of weight.. I told her about a week ago i had a surprise for her, it's a booking at a spa for a hot stone massage but she doesn't know this. There's no catch, I don't want anything in return.. it's just as a friend, I'm just worried she wont see it as a friend gift but see it as creepy instead :/

I guess I'm asking, is this a bad idea.. would you find it creepy? :/

[searock]

I would not find it creepy at all, if it came from a good friend of mine - especially one to whom I have confessed my feelings. Worst case scenario, she might find it a bit intrusive... like you're trying to speed things up between you two. Not creepy though, actually kind of sweet.

I also think you should stay close to her during this period, but not too close. You don't want to be just a rebound. It's a tricky situation, I've been where you are. I was lucky - my best friend had just broken up with his long term girlfriend and I risked it all by dating him very soon after the breakup. What started as a rebound relationship gradually turned into a real relationship and now I've been with him for almost 3 years. As I said, I was lucky... from what I've heard (and from common sense), rebound relationships rarely turn into something real. If you are close friends with her, though, your chances are way higher than if you were just some random dude she met in a club. So yeah, be there for her. Keep flirting with her though, always remind her that you are interested in more than just a platonic friendship.

[smackie9]

imo you were just a distraction from her pain. Hang around all you want, you ain't gettin some.