Need a mans opinion please? Confused!

[Confused1234500]

Sorry edited and deleted as didn't feel comfortable anyone being able to read my post.

[searock]

When he says that he's not ready for a relationship, does he mean that he wants to get to know you for a while before making it official, or that he isn't looking for a relationship no matter how well you get to know each other?

If you want a relationship and do NOT want to be friends with benefits, I think you should stop having sex with him until you make it official that you are a couple. Give him a deadline if you think it's necessary, e.g. if a month from now, after dating and getting to know each other better, he still doesn't want to make it official, you'll stop seeing him because friends with benefits is not going to work for you. If he isn't willing to wait that long (a month is nothing when a guy is into you), it means he never wanted a relationship with you and you're better off not having sex with him and developing feelings for him.

You know what you want, so act accordingly in order to get it.

[Confused1234500]

[QUOTE=searock;987182]When he says that he's not ready for a relationship, does he mean that he wants to get to know you for a while before making it official, or that he isn't looking for a relationship no matter how well you get to know each other?

If you want a relationship and do NOT want to be friends with benefits, I think you should stop having sex with him until you make it official that you are a couple. Give him a deadline if you think it's necessary, e.g. if a month from now, after dating and getting to know each other better, he still doesn't want to make it official, you'll stop seeing him because friends with benefits is not going to work for you. If he isn't willing to wait that long (a month is nothing when a guy is into you), it means he never wanted a relationship with you and you're better off not having sex with him and developing feelings for him.

You know what you want, so act accordingly in order to get it.[/

[searock]

He won't have to wonder about the change of heart if you explain it to him. If he gets scared away by something so reasonable, it means you're better off without him anyway.

You keep saying that you don't want a f*ck buddy, but then you go ahead and act exactly like a f*ck buddy. Actions speak louder than words and right now you're saying one thing and doing the opposite.

[Wakeup]

Do you know his last name? Where he lives? his marital status even? You went to bed with someone that you didn't even know and now you want us to tell you what his motives are? HAVE YOU ASKED HIM?

Usually when a man tells you he's not looking for a relationship right now, it means that he'll have sex with you but don't expect much more then that.

You'd do well to steer your "get togethers" away from anywhere near a bed for the next little while and see if he's actually interested in getting to know you. If he hedges on taking you out on real dates then he's looking or already has deemed you a fk buddy. If he's cool with going out with you then you can keep things moving without bedding a stranger you know.

If you don't want to be a fvck buddy then you best not be one.

Where did you first go to bed with him? Your place or his? Never mind, I see where you said "he came over." You'd be looking after yourself if you didn't have sex with him again unless it was after a few actual dates and then the sex took place at his house. If he isn't taking you there then the chances are higher that he's already involved with someone.

If you're going to screw someone you don't even know and then want to see them again (not a one nighter) then for goodness sakes makes sure they at least take you on a proper date and then, when you've gotten to know him better, have the sex at his house first. At least then you'll know hes not married. If he's not bringing you there then that's a huge red flag.

[nico88]

"Being intimate helps me feel closer to you"...pretty sure that was a line. And a really awful one.

Not saying all online dating sites are filled with guys just looking to **** but a lot of em are. And I think thats whats up here. It doesn't sound like this guy wants anything more from you then sex.

If you're not looking for a **** buddy then I'd end this now.

[Confused1234500]

Thanks for the replies

[searock]

Sorry we scared you off, Confused. Hope it works out for you whatever you decide.