Confused About Situation I'm In

[SuperJoker3000]

Okay let me give you the cliff notes version. I was friends with this girl a while back last year, we were friends for a while and it lead to that eventual moment of sexual tension where we started liking each other more then friends. Well she's christian and i'm not and her parents, from my theory, are the type that like to manipulate stuff. Well anyway she had this friend she's been best friends with forever that she dated years ago and he's like jesus to their family. He does no wrong. Well she's always working and busy so I rarely see her and nobody else does either. Used to talk every day though. Next thing you know the other guy confesses his feelings for her before I do. I wait too long because I figured through hints and innuendo she would "get the point". Alas I found out she is a relationship virgin in the idea that she has absolutely no idea about innuendo, hints, all that stuff. She's the type you gotta be blunt before she gets it. I learned that too late of course.

Long story short she hooks up with her ex, I bail because I feel it was the right thing to do and I didn't wanna stay around for that sorta thing. I was an alcoholic at that time and never though straight and drank all the time. So against my better judgement I walked away.

Now i have been sober for a little over 3 months and have reconciled with all my past "enemies" and people that I affected negatively. Well anyway I do the same with her we are fine at this point to my knowledge. I move along and get the dumb idea to bring up the idea of "messing around" or just trying to ignite that fire again. She took it as a relationship stab, I GUESS! Not sure what she took it as but I got this long spill about "I can't trust you anymore. I dont hold grudges against you for leaving or anything but I just feel I can't trust you anymore." Of course i'm shocked at this idea because we never really got far enough into relationship territory to hear this "I cant trust you anymore" stuff.

So anyway, told her i'd talk to her tomorrow night and just be straight up no bullshit, get everything out on the table and see where our cards fall. The issue is and the question.

What does it mean when you hear that from a woman you were really close too and was your very close friend for a long time? This is the full transcription of the message word for word:

"I'm glad you are doing well, but I really don't feel like I can trust you anymore. I'm sorry for it, but it is what it is. I put my trust in you before and you let me down. I don't hold any grudges against you, but I'm not gonna do it again. And I'll admit it flusters me a little when you think you can just walk back in my life when you feel like it"

Take into account she literally doesn't understand stuff like "playing games" or anything she's a straight shooter for the most part. This just took me outa nowhere since it wasn't like I cheated on her. We never dated she hooked up with her ex and now they are over.

[Sonrisa]

not sure if you and her are seeing your bailing situation the same. what do you mean by she hooked up with that guy?

[smackie9]

She is clueless as to why you bailed on her. After that message, you had a primo opportunity to tell her you have feelings for her, but since she started to see other guy you respectfully stepped out. You would have looked like a hero.

[SuperJoker3000]

She is clueless as to why you bailed on her. After that message, you had a primo opportunity to tell her you have feelings for her, but since she started to see other guy you respectfully stepped out. You would have looked like a hero.

Well the fact of the matter is I made my intentions clear but by that point they were further in the race then I was. They got together and i respectfully stepped out as you said. Thats all. I just walked away and she got all upset and called my best friend saying "I dont get why he hates me, I didn't do shit" I called her back and we had a quite vehement shouting match because I took that as "You can't come to me. You gotta make me look like a dick to him." That all got squashed later down the road anyway. So I told her give me 6 months and we will talk. I came back in 6 months like I said as it is now july! That was like january.

I just dont get the whole "context" of "dont think I can trust you anymore". I am thinking "#1 you dated the other guy... #2 you never came around or even tried to call me with such concerns. I am outa ur life not dead. I can resurrect my ex's even after years. Hell my best friend's new gf is my cousins ex. Me and her didn't talk for 3 years straight while she was married and when she started dating my best friend we went back to normal ilke we never left." This leads me to believe she is pissed about something else or that it was romantic context as any time i've ever "left anybody" that was a friend or romantic deal anytime I came back there were no hard feelings ever. A lot of times me and the other party just stayed friends, never thought about what happened before. Clean slate.

Note once again I never officially dated this chick or even went on a date because she had her head up this guy's ass. I am just like wtf do you want me to say?

[smackie9]

She can't trust you because you walked away from her the last time.


No your intentions were not clear to her as to why you walked, you just walked without explination. She had to call you out on it.

Anyways you were severly friend zoned so just leave it.

- - - Updated - - -

Tip: stay away from the religious ones, not worth the bs.