What should I do?

[tomack102]

I have been dating this girl for about 2 years, and we are about to leave for college. From previous months before, she has told me that she does not want to hang out with certain people and those people are my only remaining friends. She tells me that she needs more and more time with me, and I feel a little locked in. We are about to leave for college in Pace University, and says that I cannot drink, and that she wants to spend every moment with me. I have decided that I cannot deal with that in college, because I want to explore the world without being held down. I wanted to know what you guys think I should do, I still love her a lot but she refuses to change, I told her to try to make new friends in college but she says she doesnt want to do that. What do I do guys?

[Lloyd95]

I'd break up with her. She's too controlling and you're going to be experiencing a whole new world of stuff once away at college.

[TAVS]

Ya, you go to split. College rocks and you shouldn't be held back by a dame unless you choose to.

[Chlorine]

tomack102-----She sounds like a puppet master. Cut the strings.

[tomack102]

But guys, do you think a break from her would help us reinstall the girl I fell in love with? But I dont know how to break it to her, shes being apolgetic now. What should I do guys?

[TAVS]

Tell her the problem. If she can change a bit great, if not, tell her she's going to get the axe. Be polite and realize you both would have to compromise your fair share.

[tomack102]

Ok, but im afraid that she is going to freak out. I'll try my best

[Lloyd95]

Ok, but im afraid that she is going to freak out. I'll try my best

If she freaks out, that's more of a reason to break up with her. Tell her that.

[Katini]

You gotta figure out: What do you value more?

Youre relationship with this girl

Or a chance to experience college life in full?

Niether is a right or wrong answer, but it can be as simple as that.

[tomack102]

Thanks guys, I guess it really comes down to that. You guys are really great, i've decided if she does this again in college, we'll undergo a break period.

[Ellynn]

College is a time to break the rules....have fun...... If your gf is restricting you from being with your friends, drinking, basically being a normal college kid......then thats just wrong.

She sounds like shes insecure about you.......afraid you will cheat...etc. But she has to realize that she has to let you just do your thing and have fun....otherwise shes gonna lose you.

If she tries to be possessive again....just let her know you won't stand for it.

[tomack102]

She just wants to spend time with me alone, and I wanted to have some space between us, she wants to be apart of my group. But I want her to find her own group of friends, she wants to be together with me. Shes afraid of losing me if she gives me the space. I want to consider her feelings but i dont know what to do.

[aloha22]

One of my good guy friends from high school goes to college with me. Also attending the same school is the girl he dated in high school, and is still dating (going on three years now, I think). She sounds the same as your girlfriend-very controlling. She spends every spare second with her boyfriend-even skipps class to be with him, when they have all evening to be together. He's changed so much from how I knew him before. He used to be one of my best friends, but she's influenced him so much that I find it annoying that he keeps following along on her leash.

She has no social life whatsoever, and the worst part about it is that she has now done the same to him. He has many fewer friends than before (and even fewer that will put up with her). Go have fun in college! It has been the most enjoyable part in my life-I'm so glad my boyfriend lets me have space to hang out with other friends, and I give him the same courtesy.

Sometimes you just need time to yourself, dammit!

[Ellynn]

She just wants to spend time with me alone, and I wanted to have some space between us, she wants to be apart of my group. But I want her to find her own group of friends, she wants to be together with me. Shes afraid of losing me if she gives me the space. I want to consider her feelings but i dont know what to do.

You need to talk to her about this then. Tell her you really care about her and everything....but that she needs to make her own friends and do her own thing from time to time. Just reassure her that shes not gonna lose you....its just a matter of giving each other some personal space away from each other.

I can tell you care about her alot...but you have to stand firm on what you believe or in the long run.....your gonna be unhappy and things WILL get worse. I can tell your feeling smothered....and if this is just the beginning....its gonna get alot worse if you don't sit her down and talk to her. Maybe tell her that even though you both need your personal space ....that you both will set aside some time for just each other. Maybe once a week........twice a month.......whatever works for you. As long as you get that alone time....but you just have to let her know that you both need your own lives in order to grow together.

[tomack102]

But by requesting is this me being selfish?