In love with my best friend who just got engaged

[FloridaCracker]

We've been friends since we were in the first grade and we were each other's first kiss at the age of 8. Growing up, she was always flirty towards me and we could barely look at each other in the eyes without blushing and smiling. We were always together... going over to each other's houses, talking on the phone everyday and doing things together. I knew that she liked me but I was always too coward to tell her I liked her back though. People used to say we we're the perfect couple even though we weren't officially together.

It was in the spring of 2010, after her 17th birthday that I realized that I was in love her. I started to distance myself from her a little bit because I was scared that she didn't love me back and was scared of what would happen to us. After I went away for college in 2011, she got herself a boyfriend for whom she was with for eight months. Even when she with that guy, she used to message me telling me she missed me & couldn't wait to see me again. In late 2012, she got another boyfriend & was with him for four months. I moved back early last year, so we did some stuff together. She still seemed flirty towards me & a friend of hers told me she liked me but I was STILL too coward. Then jump to May of this year, she met someone at her work, and now, two months later, they're engaged.

I have a feeling that she got tired of waiting around on me, just moved on and now I'm regretting it. I feel really heartbroken over this and I'm not going to lie, I have cried a few times. I thought the current guy she was with would just be another short-term thing like all of her past boyfriends. I didn't think in a million years that they'd get engaged so frickin' soon.

I messaged her a few days ago telling her that I had something important to tell her in person but she said she doesn't think her boyfriend would appreciate us doing that. So I just snapped back and told her to forget it. She replied back saying that she was sorry, that she loves the guy and doesn't want to ruin anything at this point with him and then she asked me about what I wanted to tell her pertained to.

Deep down, I just want to write her a long message telling her my true feelings towards her. On the other hand, I wonder if I should just leave her alone and never tell her that I'm in love with her. I guess I'm just scared of what might happen and her reaction. I don't even know if she feels the same way about me back! It could all just be in my head.

I mean, we've been friends all these years and this is what the end result is???? I feel frustrated, hurt and upset all at the same time!

[nico88]

Damn dude I feel for you. I mean when you know you're in love with someone you gotta lock em down..or at least attempt to or somebody else will. And clearly that's what happened here.

I know this is gunna be tough to hear but you gotta let her go. You had all your life basically to tell her how you felt about her and you didn't. Now she's happy and in love and you telling her now just wouldn't be fair to her.

If you're lucky her new relationship will run it's course and end before it's really begun. And if it does you better not hesitate for a ****ing minute and tell her how you feel. If you're not lucky then unfortunately you're just gunna have to accept the fact that you missed out on a great opportunity in love because you were too scared and take it as a lesson learned to help you on what not to do in the future.

Best of luck, bro.

[woody]

Well that is bizarre. Reading your story reminded me of the one that got away from my youth. How I never told them how I felt and how each month, at least twice, I wonder how their doing and my heart goes, 'Flip, Flop'.

Dear o.p

You simply must tell her. She may be engaged now but you and her go way back; chances are she already knows and it would be nice to actually hear the words. Not that she can do anything about it (at this point) but she has a right to hear you say it; she deserves to know. You two would probably have a good cry over it.
and maybe one day, you'll get your chance. (getting engaged to someone after only knowing them for a few months?, well, often these things peter out eventually)
IF You do NOT tell her, You will regret it and wonder what could have been if Only you'd told her, for the rest of your life.

Look at me, its been almost two decades and I still blubber up over the one who got away, the one I never said anything to. So there. Don't be like me.

Write her a letter so she can hold onto it and read it in moments she needs comfort. Besides, it's very romantic.

please tell her

[FloridaCracker]

Damn dude I feel for you. I mean when you know you're in love with someone you gotta lock em down..or at least attempt to or somebody else will. And clearly that's what happened here.

I know this is gunna be tough to hear but you gotta let her go. You had all your life basically to tell her how you felt about her and you didn't. Now she's happy and in love and you telling her now just wouldn't be fair to her.

If you're lucky her new relationship will run it's course and end before it's really begun. And if it does you better not hesitate for a ****ing minute and tell her how you feel. If you're not lucky then unfortunately you're just gunna have to accept the fact that you missed out on a great opportunity in love because you were too scared and take it as a lesson learned to help you on what not to do in the future.

Best of luck, bro.

I thought about this yesterday and realized that the best solution would be to try and move on. I finally started to feel a little bit better, hoped that this would be the first step into moving on but then I had a dream about us last night and woke up in tears. Now I feel depressed again.

- - - Updated - - -

Well that is bizarre. Reading your story reminded me of the one that got away from my youth. How I never told them how I felt and how each month, at least twice, I wonder how their doing and my heart goes, 'Flip, Flop'.

Dear o.p

You simply must tell her. She may be engaged now but you and her go way back; chances are she already knows and it would be nice to actually hear the words. Not that she can do anything about it (at this point) but she has a right to hear you say it; she deserves to know. You two would probably have a good cry over it.
and maybe one day, you'll get your chance. (getting engaged to someone after only knowing them for a few months?, well, often these things peter out eventually)
IF You do NOT tell her, You will regret it and wonder what could have been if Only you'd told her, for the rest of your life.

Look at me, its been almost two decades and I still blubber up over the one who got away, the one I never said anything to. So there. Don't be like me.

Write her a letter so she can hold onto it and read it in moments she needs comfort. Besides, it's very romantic.

please tell her

Believe me, I want to tell her more than anything and I would be the happiest man alive if we could finally end up together.

I think I'm just going to write her a long message telling that maybe it'd be best if we weren't friends anymore and that I need to move on. I'll tell her that I wish things could have turned out differently.


I'm just waiting around, hoping for something that will never come.

I guess this is just God's way of telling me to speak up.

[Love_addiction]

Hi
My advised is only in this case that you have to need the services of fivesistersranch that will help you a lot.
Trauma,Attachment/Intimacy Disorder, Codependency, Love Addiction and Love Avoidance

[FloridaCracker]

I messaged her yesterday asking her what's going to happen with our friendship and she messaged me back asking "what do you mean"?

I haven't messaged her back because I don't know what to say.

[woody]

Oh you poor silly goose. Dear man, of course she's asking you 'what do you mean?'

You are her good and dear friend. In her mind and heart, Your friendship isn't going anywhere, it is staying right where it is.
She has no idea your thinking of putting space between you.

I still think you ought to tell her your true feelings, the extent of them.
At the very least by doing so will offer you some closure. Might be torture for awhile but you need to ask yourself this. Do you want to go through your life always wondering what if?