Complicated situation with my ex

[giblets]

A little back story on my issue,

I came from a really broken and abusive family, my dad was a pedophile, my mother had Stockholm syndrome, so my sisters would be molested and I would be beaten. I was (still am) really ****ed up in the head, I have trust issues and PTSD with constant nightmares. (Nightmares and flashbacks aren't as frequent and it doesn't bother me much anymore)

Very few people know this outside of my family since I hide all my problems really well. Anyways, I met this girl when I was 18, shes from Denmark, we fell in love, and I shared everything with her. She because my support beam in life, but I made it very difficult for her to get inside my heart or head w/e. We fought a lot because I was young, stubborn and paranoid of everyone around me. She made me feel safe, calm, secure and it felt unnatural because of my paranoia. I feel like I destroyed my relationship with her because of it.

We dated for 4 years until she called me to our usual meeting spot and told me it was over between us, she tried as hard as she could, but I was too broken and fixing me was too daunting. She finished with saying we'll never see each other again and promptly left the bridge while I stood there shocked. Of course, I went to her house every day but her parents always shoo'd me away and eventually there was nothing but an empty apartment. I always went back to our meeting spot every Friday and waited at least an hour for about 1 month since she moved out.

I sucked it up and life went on, I joined the Chair Force to discipline myself and get myself college money, got my Engineering degree, found a job and going back to school for my Masters. its been 6 years since she left and all of sudden she pops up again at my door step. Of course I was shocked and speechless. Our conversation lasted about 2 minutes until we exchanged numbers and she left.

The problem I'm having is, my feelings never changed. I still love her more than anything in this world, and I haven't found anyone I care for more than her. What do I do? My Anger tells me to tell her to **** off for being a cunt and abandoning me. I know I was being a twat but was did I really deserve having her disappear? The other side is like "Call her dude, you wont regret it".

HOW THE **** DID SHE FIND OUT WHERE I LIVED? I'm very confused and insecure at the current moment because of this. I would love some opinions on input if possible.

[supertwonk]

firstly only you know if you deserved her to abandon you.. other than that i would feel flattered thatbshe has tracked you down as it would appear she has... this has possibly taken a lot of courage on her part i say possibly but it could well be that she has fallen upon hard times and sees you has her rock.. or at the very least she may well be aware how much you loved/ needed her..

I if i were you id play it very cool (TO PROTECT YOURSELF) until you establish what her agenda is.. do not rule out the possibilty of it rekindling equally that she may just need someone there for her.. if it is the latter then be very careful.

i cant call it how this is going to go until you give me feedback on what shes been up to since she left and until you let me know why she has come back into your life...

I AM HERE IF YOU WISH TO DISCLOSE THAT INFORMATION

good luck

[giblets]

I'm sorry for the really late reply, I've been handing a few things as of late. From what I've gathered she went back to Denmark and just recently came back to the US. She's been inviting me out to have a serious discussion but I'm rather reluctant and nervous, I've just been saying I'm being hammered by work and I'll try to work out a date with her as soon as I can.

It would seem rather extreme to come to the other side of the world just have someone there for her. Can you also elaborate as to why I need to be very careful?

[Wakeup]

i cant call it how this is going to go until you give me feedback on what shes been up to since she left and until you let me know why she has come back into your life...

Op: Keep in mind that no one can "call" it accurately because everything is speculation if we are not her. Only she and you can decide that through conversation and finding out; first how she found you and second what she actually hopes to accomplish by finding you and coming back into your life.

My suggestion is you just go and find out what it is she wants without having ANY EXPECTATIONS. You're meeting an old acquaintance to catch up and that's it.

Let us know how it goes.

Keep in mind that she wasn't all the negative things you called her and she didn't "abandon" you. She gave you a decent chance at a relationship but your childhood trauma caused you to have issues with intimacy. She couldn't fix you and she left the relationship.

I hope you've gotten therapy to help you to come to terms with the abuse you had to endure and to overcome the issues that caused her to break up with you.

Good luck, let us know how your meeting goes if you decide to meet her.