Wife wants me to choose between her and friends

[Hermosa]

My 2 very good longtime friends saw my wife at a bar 50 miles from my house with a guy, turns out he is gay and she was there with a group of others but my friends did not know this. When they saw her she seemed to them a bit shocked and she said the guy was her "sponsor", which they also found odd because she is not in AA. She left quickly after talking to them and they did not see her again. They were not sure what to do but decided to call me because the situation seemed very unusual. They told me they did not want to cause problems or accuse her of cheating but they felt they should tell me what they saw.

I later confronted her and told her I suspected she was cheating because she at first refused to tell me where she had been and we had been fighting the last 3 days. I later accepted her explanation and told her I did not think she was cheating. (She has falsely accused me of cheating at least 50 times in the past and I have almost never accused her)

She is now very upset with my friends because she thinks they accused her or insinuated she was cheating. She is upset with me because she says I am not loyal to her, and says I must choose between her and my 2 friends. I already told them she was not cheating and am not sure what else I can or should do.

What do you think I should do?

[Hermosa]

Lots of view but no comments, please reply!

Here is another question: Do you think my friends were wrong for calling me and telling me what they saw?

[Leialoha1975]

If these 2 were your true friends the call they made to you about your "wife" was the right thing to do. Why else would true friends call you? They love and care for you and want you to know. Right? THEY were right, I would have done the same thing...shit, if my brother's wife was doing the same thing I would tell him.

Your wife wants loyalty when she doesn't even trust you by accusing you of cheating?

Your wife and you have some trust issues. Did you give her reasons to say you cheated on her 50 + times? Why have you rarely accused her?

[Hermosa]

No I never gave her reasons to say I cheated, but she would disagree. I have never cheated on her. I have proved why she is wrong at least 50 times, but there is no way to answer every one of her questions, like where a hair she found came from, I just don't know but know I was not cheating. I have not accused her because I really don't think she has been cheating, but I could point to things that are just as suspicious. I made a list once just to respond to her when I ask how she would feel if I accused her like she accused my - she always replies "you have no reason to suspect me" - when she found the list she became offended that I thought she was cheating and documented it, but she just does not listen or hear me when I tell her the reason I made the list is to show her she has a double standard.

[vashti]

Lots of view but no comments, please reply!

Here is another question: Do you think my friends were wrong for calling me and telling me what they saw?

No, and I find it kind of odd that she is demanding you get rid of them.

[dem862]

Your friend is probably not gay. He is probably bi-sexual and she is cheating with him. That's why she got so defensive. As Shakespeare would say "methinks the lady doth protest too much."