Secrecy and Engagement?

[lovemypup87]

Hi! So I proposed (it slipped out!) To my boyfriend of a year about three months ago. He said he needed to think about it, and then said yes, we should get married. So I told all my family and friends. And he...has not told a single person. I asked him about it and he said: 'I want to tell my parents in person. And I've been really stressed out, but I'm going to tell them.' His not telling anyone makes me question how he feels about marriage. However, I'm trying not to overeact as he does seem to love me. Thus far, his not announcing the engagement is creating tension in the relationship, and I'm at a loss (and ring less!)as to what to do. Finally, we are both in our 20's, and college graduates. Any insights as to his behavior? Ideas? Help me please!!!

[TablesandChairs]

It doesn't sound like he's ready: once he tells the world, it's real. If he was over-joyed, he'd be out looking at rings and telling everyone. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, but going from boyfriend/girlfriend to future husband and wife is a different thing...and one that I wasn't personally ready for at that age either.

[lovemypup87]

It doesn't sound like he's ready: once he tells the world, it's real. If he was over-joyed, he'd be out looking at rings and telling everyone. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, but going from boyfriend/girlfriend to future husband and wife is a different thing...and one that I wasn't personally ready for at that age either.

Well, the thing is, I proposed after I found out that the relationship would become long distance for at least a year (he moved to get his master's degree). I have brought it up and tried to tell him that we don't have to be engaged, and he just cries and says he wants to be engaged every time I try to discuss it, and then he'll say that his feelings are hurt. Sigh!

[surfhb]

Wow! Deciding to get married out of fear? You need to rethink this.

It's important to talk about marriage before either one of you propose. Have you discussed things like money, how to raise children, ect?

How old are you? If under 25 what's the rush?