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Thread: Girl oversharing information on first date

  1. #1
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    Girl oversharing information on first date

    I was on a coffee date with a girl a while ago. She was great, we had a good conversation for almost two hours. Her body language was open and she was happy, I made her smile and laugh a lot. When it was cold (we talked past the coffee shop closing and sat outside) I offered her a blanket, but she said she was okay. (She later said it was because she wanted to appear tough.)

    However, over the course of the date I also learned a lot of personal, intimate details: past (attempted) rapes, her parents splitting up, her family, her ex-fiance, how she's growing away from her friends, her numerous broken bones and accidents, etc.

    On the one hand, it seems like she trusts me if she's sharing such personal details. On the other, these could be details she's trying to downplay as not being "important" if she tells them to everyone.

    Long story short, it didn't scare me away. Just curious what your read is on it, positive or negative

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    1st date conversations in my opinion should be light. With her telling you all that its really hard to say because you may just give her a level of comfort and maybe she just wanted you to know "everything".
    I LOVE ... US

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsbrantley1 View Post
    1st date conversations in my opinion should be light. With her telling you all that its really hard to say because you may just give her a level of comfort and maybe she just wanted you to know "everything".
    That's my question too. Is she naturally just "open" with everyone, or did I do something that made her feel like she could be open? Or, does she feel like she's so messed up that she should put it all on the table and see if I run away before she gets invested?

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    Maybe it was a test to make you open up and share intimate things in your past too? to discuss past sexual assaults on a first date is weird.

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    See where it goes... do another date and update us. We might be able to see more in to it
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    negative!
    information on first date!
    work
    friends
    hobbies
    hobbies
    recreation
    etc

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsbrantley1 View Post
    See where it goes... do another date and update us. We might be able to see more in to it
    +1 Going on a second date shortly

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    [QUOTE=Confused8;994512]+1 Going on a second date shortly [/QUOTE

    That's good to hear. Take it easy with the conversation. If she starts talking like the first night and your not comfortable hearing it... change the topic... nicely
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  9. #9
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    Good luck for your second date.

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    Well, I'd say it went well She's getting over a fairly recent break up of her own with its own drama (break up months ago, try getting back together, didn't work out) so she noted that "time" was a big thing for her to appear that she's not rebounding. She made it clear that's a standard she set for herself, rather than it being what she didn't want it to appear like to others.

    So it still went very well, it's just clear she's asking for time and for things to be taken slowly.

  11. #11
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    That is good news, so you will continue to go out? Did she over share because she was nervous with it being a first date and she wanted you to know a lot about her first date?

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    I think it's a little odd she'd share so many initimate details with you on a first date. And a coffee date at that, but maybe she's just an extremely open person. I don't think that's a negative thing. I guess it all depends on how much you can stand to listen too lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by crossandbone View Post
    I think it's a little odd she'd share so many initimate details with you on a first date. And a coffee date at that, but maybe she's just an extremely open person. I don't think that's a negative thing. I guess it all depends on how much you can stand to listen too lol.
    She said repeatedly "if I'm talking too much, just tell me." So I think it's a combination of being a friendly ear that listens along with her wanting to be open about any "baggage." She said, if anything, I should be the one who's "scared" (her words) about being a rebound.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by lovebroken View Post
    That is good news, so you will continue to go out? Did she over share because she was nervous with it being a first date and she wanted you to know a lot about her first date?
    Yep! I offered to have her come shopping with me since I need some furniture for the house. I figure it's a way of judging our tastes and getting a female perspective on style

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    That sounds like a nice time, Myself and most of my friends like when guys ask for our opinion on what to buy, hope you both enjoyed yourself. Do you have similar tastes?

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    Quote Originally Posted by lovebroken View Post
    That sounds like a nice time, Myself and most of my friends like when guys ask for our opinion on what to buy, hope you both enjoyed yourself. Do you have similar tastes?
    We did enjoy it We both have similar tastes... I showed her what I was looking at and she helped affirm the decision We spent about 5 hours shopping, having coffee, walking around, talking, and going for supper together that night.

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