Me and a girl hung out recently. We've been good friends for a long time and have a very weird history. She used to have strong feelings for me in the past (she eventually admitted it to me) but was in a long term committed relationship at the time so nothing happened. She knows I used to like her when we first met, about a decade ago. So we both had strong feelings for each other at different times.

She became single this year and was casually dating guys but nothing serious, according to her. When we hung out she had mentioned she was "seeing" one guy steadily now but did not make it seem like they were really committed yet, although she seemed interested in that.

Me and her got drunk in her room alone that night. I got much drunker than her and got pretty touchy feely with her. I laid my head in her lap and she didn't object. She eventually stretched out her leg and turned into me and basically, we ended up spooning on the floor. Our legs entwined, her butt was against my crotch (although she wasn't grinding, she definitely got into "spoon" mode) and I had my arm embracing her, feeling her arm or holding her hand. She was relaxed but also did not seem to care where my hands or mouth wandered...but she also did not give any positive signs either. She didn't grind into me, grab me, look at me, moan, tell me to keep going. Nothing.

We were BSing about random stuff while this was happening. I had my mouth on her neck, was breathing against it. I was looking for some type of positive or negative indicator. She knows me pretty well but we have never gotten this physical ever. I'm not some weird rapey dude so all she would have to do is pull or push away or say "Back off" and she knows I would have. But she didn't. She just laid there like a dead fish with her eyes closed and her face facing away from me.

I was getting pretty desperate for some sign either way. Either "no thanks" or "keep going" but I didn't want to make the mood awkward by asking. I didn't want to go so far as to grope her or kiss her until I got some kind of response for encouragement. I nuzzled her neck and I think even nibbled it a bit, I bit her shoulder playfully. Nothing. She just kept on talking about stuff matter of factly like we weren't doing anything. I eventually got so fed up I said "What's with you? Why are your eyes closed? Hm? Can I get some kind of reaction from you?" and she just smiled with her eyes closed and she said she was tired. She would not turn to face me or open her eyes. She did not grab or feel me back besides rubbing her legs against mine sometimes. At one point she mumbled that I was "warm" and I thought she said I felt like a "worm" and we started laughing at that. Then she broke away and said we should probably go to sleep. I went to brush my teeth and when I came back she was already snoring on some single person futon and I slept on the floor.

The next morning I was worried she was going to tell me I scared her or creeped her out or something but she was completely normal, like nothing even happened. She definitely knows it happened even though she was tired because I was way more drunk than her and she has a better memory. But nope, never mentioned it, never asked why it happened. Just made me breakfast happily and dropped me off at home. She asked for a goodbye hug and I made up some excuse because I was a little bothered by her seemingly ignoring ANY of this happened. I would have been fine with a clear rejection but she left it totally ambiguous. I'm assuming it's a rejection but unless I'm crazy, there is no way she interpreted this as just me being platonically friendly, right? She knows full well I'm not gay and she knows full well that she is an attractive woman and she has told me she thinks I'm physically attractive, and she has always had a very strong emotional connection to me.

I guess I did all this stuff because I wanted to put myself on the table. Like "OK, you're seeing this guy now. But, you know, you're finally out of that other relationship, so, I'm still here". Some people said I should have come on stronger but I was getting no feedback and started to feel like I was being a creep because she just did not respond...on the other hand, she knows she has zero reason to fear me, she has known me for a decade and knows I'd never harm her or do anything to assault her. She is also very vocal about rejecting guys that overstep their bounds.

So what was the deal? Some girls have told me she was rejecting me but because of our history she did not want to hurt my feelings. Other women have said I need to ask her, but I already feel humiliated for putting myself out there and not getting any feedback. Was she nervous? Did she think we were just like, drunk cuddling? Were my moves too "safe"? Keep in mind we've been good friends for a while, so going in very aggressive seemed like a bad move to me, which is why I took the playful approach.