what to do??......a bit confused...insight appreciated!

[flyin_hi]

My boyfriend (we'll call him Rob) and I have been together for 2.5 years, living together almost 2. We're happy overall, but have had our problems. Jealousy is a big one, he is a bit on the insecure side. I have never once done anything to lose his trust, but I have never fully earned it either. (Although this has improved a bit ) Things have been a bit rough recently arguing and tension...we are both at fault....and I've been having doubts as to whether or not we are going to make it and be able to build a truly solid foundation, or if the same problems will continue. To complicate things, my life long friend "steve" came in the picture. We stayed up all night talking last friday, literally until the sun came up. He was driving thru town on his way to our 10 year highschool reunion and came over to talk me into going....as he knew I was looking forward to it and wanted to be there...but decided not to go..we ended up sitting on my back porch talking, catching up and laughing hysterically for hours! . Steve and I have always had a deep bond and love for eachother....ever since we were 5...never romantic....but as true friends you know? I think as him and I have gone thru our adult lives, we have both wondered what it would be like if we took the next step and became partners...in fact, I know we have. I told Rob that we need to take a step back, I gave him my engagement ring and let him know that I'm not positive about life long committment givem the way things have been. ( we've been "engaged" for almost a year, but no date has been set, no planning or anything of the sort) He states he wants to improve, grow up (he's 6 years younger than me, but does act older than his age) I'm torn as I can feel my always existent love for Steve blossoming into more.....and I feel terrible!!!!; I'm not a cheater, emotionally or physically....but Steve and I have been texting quite often since last Friday....I'm just torn anf confused. I feel bad, like I am now emotionally cheating on Rob...but it also feels wonderful to talk with my amazing friend. I just don't know what to do. ....Steve wants move forward, wants an us...but understands that I'm confused and hesitant to make a rash decision and just end things with Rob. Steve is not pushy at all, he's not the jealous or possessive type, he's such a gentleman. Although things have been said in regards to a romance between us, our texts have been more along the lines of two life long fiends just talking, laughing, enjoying eachother. We have always been very like minded, and highly respect the differences we do have, we have the same communication style, the same sense of humor, similar passions and morals, similar interests and views....and we've simply been connected since we were children. Years have gone by without seeing eachother and yet our friendship and love continues to grow. Steve actually poposed to me in 4th grade, on our way home from a field trip...I declined. Lol. We have always wanted to be together, but neither of us ever moved on it. The crazy thing is that Steve has a nack for showing up when I'm in trouble...its like he knows Im in pain and out of my element.. I feel that the similarities between us that I noted above are the exact things lacking between Rob and I. We have a passionate relationship and do love eachother, but the true connectedness is not there. I don't regret loving Rob, I don't regret our relationship...I am a believer in things happening for a reason....but I think our time may be done. I'm robs first true love, he's 22 and has never been in a relationship like ours....I'm so scared that I will crush him if I end it. And part of me almost wonders if this disconnect between us can turn into a strong bond. Like my title says, I'm confused and torn. I don't want to break Rob's heart, or make a decision I may later regret....I think I will simply take it easy and see how this all unfolds..Another point to make is that I don't feel like my true self with Rob....I feel as if he doesn't know the true me. Our communication is and has been lacking. He said to me the other day that he's tired of hearing me tell my stupid stories and talking about my stupid family.....excuse me!!?? There was much more to that convo, but that's one of the main points. The thing is that he normally is quite kind....but he just kind of lost it that morning....that's when things really started to go down hill...I don't trust him with my heart any longer. And then here comes Steve...and what did we do? Nothing but talk and tell our "stupid" stories until 6 in the morning. Some new, some old, some about nothing at all....Steve doesn't like that I'm with Rob, not because he wants to be, but because he knows the guy doesnt treat me right. Rob has said to me numerous times throughout our relationship that I deserve better...rather than making the needed changes to keep me around. But now.....he's promising that things will change....hmmmm...we shall see. I know its long. Thanks for reading!****

[desktop]

My suggestion: learn how to use paragraphs.

[Menikmati]

I believe the suggestion of using paragraphs is because desktop finds use of their time reading about peoples issues and problems in life only to respond negatively to crush your spirit further with what is ailing you because somehow it makes them feel superior to your non human body and mind because for surely you must use proper grammar to state your feelings because if you do not then nobody will read it or comment on it because it is boring and who the hell would waste time investing in other peoples issues oh but wait desktop does and will for surely critique you on the manner in which you share your life with strangers but its ok because it completely raises your faith in human kind and the insurance of proper genetic breeding of children who will be just as if not more highly intelligent that this individual will ensure that all of civilization will marvel at their greatness and unlimited wisdom as surely we could not survive as a species without someone as charismatic as them i mean how would i ever be able to win people over or be civil with another person if it were not for your fine example that will be passed down for generations to come seriously your child may be the leader of this awe inspiring world you have decided to create on your own with laws im sure that will include stoning people that dont fit your criteria as human which i am sure includes a long list of people you think fit into the category but couldnt give a rational answer as to why because you truly would have to think about it and in all reality words just come out of your ass because you never put one moment of rational thought into how your words affect other people but this is ok because you are the one person on this earth sent here to judge and survey people to make sure they are doing things the way you believe they should be done and i want you to know i am grateful for your service to humankind and ensuring that our children grow up following your amazing example and standard for which society must abide by and i too appologize for not using paragraphs in my posting in which you left an almost exact response about using paragraphs and when a person tells complete strangers about emotions that are so taxing on their emotional well being that they decide to share it on the internet with the hope of a genuine honest answer as yours desktop surely is not why people post on this site but of course the real reason anyone posts is to have someone else give them support even though they already have an answer of their own answer without needing your most valued input as a perfect example of a wonderful front person for this website and the emotional capability to care genuinely about other peoples feelings that will once again as i said be passed onto your darling children born and bread to be leaders of the new modern society staring us in the face with no hope of success except our offspring that will bring a once collapsing societal structure to the tip top of history with pillars of strength that no hammer could ever bring down because you have proven that a strong community and value for your breatheren is what is needed and therefore we should all follow your prime example of what it means to be an exempliary human and just to ensure your own personal happiness i made sure to indent this paragraph specifically to show my respect for sharing your thought process with us as we will strive to further better ourselves in the wake of your footsteps and i will be sure to punish myself for being incapable of placing those two periods and that one comma that i missed because i just realized that this is not even a paragraph at all because it is just one run in sentence so i guess i should throw in some type of literal knowledge o here is a period for you.AnD bUt?