Is there any hope for us?

[Maggi]

Hi there,

Just like some opinions on whether this relationship will work from a guy's point of view. I've been with my on and off again boyfriend for two and a half years. We have had a long distance relationship for one year since he got a job in Vietnam and now he's doing another year in Japan. We stopped chatting for about half a year during the time he was in Vietnam but when we got chatting again we 'fell into' a partner relationship without saying. I trust him and we tell each other what we get up to. We recently spent three weeks back together but now he's off again. He just arrived in Japan this week and we've had a few online fights about what our future will be. He always says 'he doesn't know' and sometimes mentioned 'if he comes back'. I've contemplated moving over to Japan myself but apparently there may be some racism issues that will not allow me to find work?

He really is my soulmate though. He broke his hand a few days ago jogging and I actually felt pain in my hand around the time it happened. It's something that I cannot explain but he just 'gets me' and we genuinely care for each other so much. Life will never be the same without him in my life. It just hurts so much to be apart from him and it's driving me crazy. I was okay with waiting one more year but now he's saying it could be longer. He always says 'he'll come back'. What should I do? Is there any hope for us? What do you think? He's never told me he loved me but he'll say things like 'I miss you spaz' or something like that. But when I am really down he's the one person I could count on to be there for me. We get each other's jokes. We have a special connection. I'm getting to the age where I want to settle down and start a family. But building a new relationship can take years too. What to do?

Mags

[lost_man]

Personally I think long distance is a joke and that people who think it's good for their relationship are deluding themselves.

If I were you I'd be looking to work on my self esteem so that I felt I deserved to be with someone who wanted to be with me as much as I want to be with them, instead of pining for somebody whose conscious decisions continue to put space and confusion between you.

Kinda harsh but that's my honest opinion.

[ianinmd2010]

You don't need to shut the door on him totally, but I think you need to move on as much as possible and date other people. You may be his best friend, but still he's not as into you as you are into him or he wouldn't be pursuing his life out in Asia.