help with my ex?

[lost270]

Ok for starters I'm new here so sorry if I posted in the wrong section. Ok now I'm going to do my best to sum this up. Ok me and my ex were together for 9 months. To mashes situations worse it started as a 1 night stand which she obviously stayed the night. Then the second night and so on so fourth until she eventually just moved in. I know!! Huge mistake on my part. Well it started great. Only a few more arguments. She was 19 I am 24. Most arguments in the early days were simply because she was young and didn't know how to control her attitde. Well first 5 months were awesome. I had a great job things were golden. Well I eventually lost my job and things got difficult because we moved to Florida. She quit school because she wanted An adventure more or less. Well the last 4 month's I was basically unemployed. Got a few jobs here and there but nothing like I had before. Well at this point in time or fights are obviously getting worse. They were about 3 big fights a week. Well one day she gets mad and is just tearing into me gets mad and throws her phone at me. Which I get even more pursed and throw her phone across the room and it shelters. Yea I know stupid me lol. Well we had one more huge fight 2 weeks ago 3 days before we broke up we we fighting about something stupid she wanted to leave yadayadayada I said fine She grabbed her phone to leave after her things were packed I said she isn't taking the phone and I broke it. Again Stupid I know but I pay the phone bill. So she swings at me I throw her on the need and hold her hands ago she can't hit me. This was the first time it ever became "physical" at this point were talking she starts apologizing a few minutes later we talk about it and she unpacks her stuff. Well 3 days after we are still arguing and I tell her I can't do it anymore. All we do anymore is argue and I'm done. She calls my bluff and says ok. This happened Friday night (2 weeks ago) around 11pm. Well that while night we are just talking and playing in bed playing having more fun than we have in a while. We had sex one last time and the next morning when she is leaving She was crying the entire time. Saying this is the hardest thing too do that she is still in love with me but her heart isn't in it ect. (In my own opinion I honestly think the only reason she left was because her parents were whispering in her ear.) now before I get g o the next part remember she is the type where fighting makes everything easier for her.) so that day I blow her up and finally get a response she is saying she still loves me she instructor what happens but she needs time to think. I say ok and go No contact on Saturday. Monday I text her saying I'm sorry I miss you basically begging. No response. Go no contact again. At this point I'm talking to get best friends husband trying to get some insight. That Thursday she texts me saying it's over its the past etc. So I call her and while having a conversation i ask her how a few days ago she leaves in TEARS but now had no remorse. She said easy because she hasn't been thinking about it. So I simply ask " do you not love me anymore"? She gets quiet for about 20 seconds trying to hold the tears back and says your an idiot if you think that. And hands up. Keep in mind that while first conversation she had a friend u end of hers around. So after that I go NO CONTACT and hold firm to it. She calls me drunk the next day and leaves a voicemail saying to call her back Please etc. She knew I had a date that night. The next day gets drunk again and calls. No voicemail. Now 5 days later. She texts me saying "hey do you remember the name of the oral surgeon I went to". Still holding NC I don't reply. The next day this past Friday she calls again hey I'm in "city name" do you have Samanthas number. Finally I get pissed and simply say "quit calling me delete my number I have nothing to say to you". She leaves me a nasty voicemail saying I'm an asshole this and that she has an "army bf" lol and all kinds of craziness. S i I send her one last one saying I have moved on that she needs to do the dame and basically I'm over her. She went quiet. Got off fb got off snapchat Twitter all social media. Now keep in mind my "new girl is nothing but a rebound. I do miss my ex and would like some reconciliation and maybe even get back with her. But I wanted this to be mutual She didn't. Sobi will play her "game" all She wants to do is make me jealous and it's not going to work. Let's just say I have a way to know everything she is doing. I know for a FACT she is i only talking to 2 guys and both live 3 hours away. She isn't the best looking girl out there. In love her to death for her personality but I must have been drunk the whole 9 months to say the least. So what should I do. Just hold NC since she is now getting lost and vulnerable. I have her blocked from ALL social media. She can't creep at all. But I still have my ways to creep lol. So what should I do here?

[Whisteria]

You should stop creeping on her, let her go. What's the point in creating more stress on your body and in your life over these issues that have not been resolved? You already told her you moved on, then just let it go and go on with your life. Make your dreams come true, she's taken a different path and seems like she will learn the hard way and also due to her age. Of course you will still care but do not pay so much attention to her, focus on getting your life on track, your job, she's just a distraction. Your off social media already that is even better for you to focus on other things, save up money and go travel, meet new people. You miss the company of her which is exactly why you got a rebound plus there is less drama now isn't there?

That would be my advice however it is up to you in the end to make your ultimate decision.

[Wakeup]

I'll just repeat what I said in your duplicate post: (where in you said you wanted to reconcile.. like WTF?)

Without paragraphs I had to quit reading here as it got too hard to concentrate on what you were saying through that wall of text. Anyway, nothing further was needed to read after this:

I honestly think the only reason she left was because her parents were whispering in her ear.)

How in denial you are. Your relationship with her is a toxic mess where the two of you will eventually end up beating one another up because you're both too immature, without life skills and unable to communicate wtf is on your minds without abusive tactics.

I'm not sure if this is learned behaviour because that is how both your own parents dealt with their shit or it's because you're both just immature and not ready for anything really committed. A mature man would NOT have allowed his girlfriend to quit school to "go on an adventure" with him. He would have stayed where he was until she finished school and if you were still together and functioning like two normal human beings without the toxicity, then he would have moved her in with him.

After reading the last lines: Don't make the same mistakes with your "new girl" as you've made with your "old girl." And while you're at it, forget about any "reconcilliation" because you two are NOT A GOOD COUPLE to be SPENDING ANY FURTHER TIME WITH ONE ANOTHER. What you discribe is not love but addiction, codependency, insecurity and total dysfunction.

BTW: You're using the "new girl" if you're not over the "old girl" so already this new relationship is starting out toxic.