The Past and the Lies..

[Trovo]

Ok, so I've been dating this girl for almost a year now. Initially, she told me that she had just one relationship which ended about 2 years before she met me and it was apparently a messy breakup. The guy wanted to marry her (as he was a bit older and wanted to settle down) but she was too focused on her career at the time and decided to break off their relationship because he wouldn't stop pressuring her for marriage. Than, 2 years later, she met me.

Well, things were all smooth (somewhat) until I got to know from someone that she was actually seeing another guy just a few months before she met me. I confronted her about this, she's like yea ok, I was with him but only for about 2 months and it was nothing serious. The furthest they went was sexting and phone sex. She's like she simply despises the guy and doesn't want to discuss him. She seems quite pissed off at that relationship. When I asked her why she'd lie, she's like it was messed up, she didn't want to think about it, etc, etc. This I can understand and don't care much about it. When I asked her if there were any other guys, first she denied than slowly she's like yes she dated a few but nothing serious. Maybe a month or a few weeks, didn't click anywhere. I was a bit weirded out why she'd lie to me about that guy because on her insistence, I actually shared my whole past with her; the good, the bad and the ugly; but, I didn't think too much about it. Maybe she was insecure and thought I'd look down on her.

She not only kept her past from me but constantly lied about it. Moreover, she deleted her facebook account and all her other social site accounts and only added me from a new account where she has only me in her friends list (I guess to keep an eye on my account without sharing hers). I put up with all this. She would than constantly ask, "you won't leave me no matter what, right?" To which I always replied, "yes, I won't ever leave you unless you lie to me". Then, she shared something else.

Apparently, she had another guy in her life whom she met a year before me. She's like she really loved him but for some reasons they couldn't be together. She claims that guy also loved her a lot but he had family commitments which forced him to move to the states (we're in Canada). Apparently, she knew this and the whole year they fought over this fact and would get together and break up a hundred times. So a week before I show up into the picture, that guy visited her from the states and although they were "broken up" she went to bed with him, but claims that they didn't actually have sex, just shared intimacy. Even after she met me, she was apparently still talking to him as he was like a "best friend" to her and she told him all about me and whatnot. She claims she slowly stopped talking to him as she got so into me that she devoted all her time to me and cut off the rest of her friends, including him. What gets my goat is, she didn't tell me all this and I wasn't even aware of this dude's existence!! Even now when she was telling me about him, it's like all praise, how funny and how chilled out he was. How he had such an awesome fashion sense and whatnot. She showed me a pic of him and when I frowned she jumped to defend him; this is just a bad pic, he's normally like this and that, he's trying out new style, yada yada yada... Her tone is just way too different than when she talked to me about the other guys from her past where I could sense she was glad to end it with them. Now, I have a lot of things going on in my head. Clearly, I feel like our relationship was a rebound relationship, and the fact she was telling him about me (even while I didn't know of his existence), I feel she was using me to try to get him jealous.

I ended our relationship, but she's clinging on and refusing to let go. She's begging me not to leave her and still texts, calls day in day out. I'm confused as what to think or do with this relationship but I'm definitely very pissed off about the whole thing. She claims she loves me more than anyone she ever loved before but I'm sitting at a crossroad. Don't know how to proceed. Comments?

[surfhb]

Well you sound pretty insecure to me and I'll tell you why.

Just because she went out with a couple guys doesn't really count as a relationship. Furthermore why is all this important to you anyway. Why are you even asking or taking second hand info? Isn't her being with you enough?

And this whole social media thing is enough to make you Puke.....don't get me started on how it will ruin a relationship just because it plants false seeds in people's heads on how an individual is really thinking

Delete your FB and Instagram accounts people !!!!

[woody]

SHE WAS LOOKING FOR A FRESH START.

with you. silly goose....

oh yes. agree with above advice regarding fb, or any other site similar. F__ Fb.