Feeling really dejected

[Pinking2010]

So here's the story (kind of long)....For well over a year I've had a crush on this girl, probably since about may 2013 if I had to guess a starting point. I also work with her sister, and since I developed these feeling for Briana we would always talk about it at work how I should ask her out. I was always too nervous to actually do it, I just figured I'd get rejected, she's just soo pretty and out of my league. Finally at the beginning of August I did it and asked her on a date, which she actually said yes! I can't describe the feeling I got when she said yes, and when the actual date happened it was just amazing, almost perfect, and ended with a kiss goodnight. It was a dream come true for me, she was even more amazing than I could ever imagine. For the next few weeks we went on dates, hung out and I started to feel like a connection was developing and I loved every second I spent with her. Well one day we were supposed to see each other and she said she couldn't, she had feelings for ex still and didn't want to hurt me. I gave it a few days and talked to her, we got on the same page and agreed to see each other again. We saw each other and everything went amazing, I felt so happy and really thought me and her connected, it just felt right.

A few days later (last Saturday) she told me she didn't feel a connection and she didn't think we should see each other again. I tried to reason with her it would just take more time and it would be she was definite on this decision. This has been really rough. She was more amazing than I ever dreamt her to be, and it was like I got a taste of something so perfect but then it was taken way from me. My dream come true was over. It's been 9 days and the hurt is still there. I tried to turn around and go on a date with someone new but I had to end it early I was just thinking about her. I know time will heal but right now I'm just feeling really dejected and down. My stomach drops every post of hers on social media I see, and when I see her sister at work because they look very similar. I just don't know what to do....

[TheEvilJester]

I definitely understand how you feel. If it makes you feel any better, I've always been cursed with feeling things so much more intensely then most people. Only making that worse is the fact that I've had very few people I can trust, and have made the mistake way too often of trusting the wrong people. So, for me, when I meet a friend I like and think I can actually trust, male or female, it is almost equivalent to how most people feel for a significant other. Meaning I have to suffer through that kind of crap even more often. Anyway.... bottom line being I most definitely understand how you feel.

And, unfortunately you really hit the nail right on the head. Only time will really heal your wounds. Truthfully, finding somebody new will help as well, but as you learned the hard way, not if you get back out there too soon. I wish I could offer different advice, but unfortunately you just need to take some time to heal up from your experience.

I have to say, I'm also a little tempted to say shame on her for getting into a relationship with you if she wasn't ready. That was a really terrible thing to do to you. But, I would venture to guess that she probably never intended to do that to you. She probably THOUGHT she was ready to move on and just later realized she was not. That is unfortunate, but that is her loss.

If she isn't interested, it would be best for you not to keep trying to convince her. I know how hard that can be in a time like this. You thought you two had a connection, so obviously you didn't want to just throw that away. But, you deserve better than to be trying to CONVINCE somebody that you are worth having. You shouldn't have to convince anybody.

Give yourself some time. Heal, and be happy just within yourself. Then, get back out there. Some day you will find somebody who will appreciate you for you and won't play games with your heart. Good luck, my friend. I hope that day comes very soon.

[surfhb]

We've all been there my friend and you will experience this again in your life.....being rejected is just apart of how it works

Don't contact her again and date other people. I promise you will get over this and probably won't remember her name once you find a girl who's totally into you

Promise!!

[hoxtonchris]

we all at times feel our new partner must feel exactly the same as we do,often they dont,im a man of 62,was married of 30 years to someone who was holding a torch for her lost love all that time!,i met someone recently,guess what! same again!i have now met someone who i know eels the same or me at last!.so persevere if you are luck you will find each other ,but!!! no guarentees,no,one promised us a happy healthy liffe....good luck,and dont blame the girl she was probably hoping you were the one to take her exes place just as much as you wanted to be the one.

[Pinking2010]

It's not the getting rejected part, I've had that happen before many a times. It's getting a taste of something amazing with her then getting crushed. I would've rather her said no when I first talked to her. Everything felt so right and perfect, and I failed. I feel like I'm not worthy to chase after my "dream girl", that I just need to settle for someone.

[surfhb]

No it is rejected/dejected part.....it's the title of your thread

She didn't say no the first time because she thought you and her might have possibilities.

It's not your fault, it's hers. She's still stuck on her ex.....you really want a girl who can't stop going back to some guy she broke up with and/or treated her badly? She did you a favor

[TheEvilJester]

It's not the getting rejected part, I've had that happen before many a times. It's getting a taste of something amazing with her then getting crushed. I would've rather her said no when I first talked to her. Everything felt so right and perfect, and I failed. I feel like I'm not worthy to chase after my "dream girl", that I just need to settle for someone.

I know exactly how you feel. I've actually sort of been recently torturing myself for similar reasons, but regarding somebody I thought was a good friend. (In my case, not a love interest, just a friend, but somebody I thought could have been a really really good friend.) This is a friend who went out of their way to reach out to me (which made me feel safe to reach out in return), but lately I swear I get vibes they don't like me anymore and I can't tell if I'm just imagining it or if I truly am sensing what really is there. In situations like that it is hard not to over-analyze and think "What the Hell did I do?" In my case, I can honestly tell myself I did absolutely nothing but try to be a good friend to this person. So, if they stopped wanting to be my friend, they are not a very good person after all. From your situation, it similarly sounds like you did not do anything that should cause her to want to end things. So this is on her.

It's a little different since for you it was a girl you thought had potential to be "the one." So that just makes it even worse. I know just how you feel, though. It is hard not to feel like life intentionally crapping on you. As though life wanted to show you something amazing just to then rip your heart out and show it to you. It sucks. I wish I could say there is an easy way to get over it, but unfortunately the only thing that will fix it is time.

Once you feel up to dating again, what will REALLY make you forget all about her is when you finally find somebody who truly does appreciate you. Then she will no longer matter. Good luck. Again, I hope you find that sooner that you can imagine.